The Enchanted Warrior

LV 2

ErisTheEmpress

I can't comment much on the story, characters, and world yet as we're still in the early chapters of the novel. I'll explain as to why I rated writing quality for only 3 stars, First is because it's so short. Some readers may like nibbles of the story instead of whole chunks, but those nibbles have to contain something interesting, the first 2 chapters of this novel could have been 1 whole chapter and it wouldn't have affected the flow of the story. Also, if you're more comfortable with short chapters and you plan on continuing that route, I suggest you at least post 5 or more chapters at once as a mass release. Second is your paragraph building. Don't release massive paragraph dumps, as it is quite unsightly and hard to read. Especially on mobile phones. I suggest separating your paragraph where there are different ideas. Also, when there is a conversation, that should be a separate paragraph on it's own or at least at the start or end of a paragraph. Next is the pace of the story. You should slow down the pace of the story, don't go too fast and reveal the world around your character and not just what is happening to him. I'm going to add this book to my library as I was very much enticed by your title. I hope you can take my suggestions in a good way. Keep writing!