It is very short but the story has potential,
The character design is good but can inprove
The world building needs to be more clearer
You should Change the Pov As it becomes boring if you dont let the readers imagine themselves in the MC Shoes.
But overall it has a good start and is quite intresting
It is very short but the story has potential, The character design is good but can inprove The world building needs to be more clearer You should Change the Pov As it becomes boring if you dont let the readers imagine themselves in the MC Shoes. But overall it has a good start and is quite intresting