The most ancient house of black

LV 13

Looki124

Si i need to do a review of this ..... The idea behind thé story is good but the way the story was made is yuck because the action and Conversation happen to fast and in your story you dont have nothing that make people see what people Say, think and does. Your story was made like the way a kid invent a story.

LV 4

Zeikeir

dont put completed when its obviously NOT.

LV 4

Heegun

Good idea but it needs to have finer details, words, and grammar edited

LV 4

Straken

🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷

LV 14

Kurotora

The premise of the story is great, although a little confusing. Since we can't tell if the MC is a reincarnated person or just an original character. The grammar, spelling, and punctuation could use some work. Hopefully the author keeps the story going, it's quite interesting.