this is really good. I stand by my ratings. Some that I have read written by people with English as their first language had worse grammar than this. I recommend you give it a read
bro u are an amazing author. Although sometimes the English gets a little confusing and mixed up its still really good as it gets what you're trying to say across, especially considering its not you're first language, its really commendable that you still choose to write it in English. I also like how you take the time to read through your readers comments. Keep up the good work!
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Fantasy · Zaysay
wasn't it 500 before?
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Fantasy · Zaysay
when you say "called Grizelle" it sounds like thats the name of the leader and not the magician "called out to Grizelle" makes it easier for English readers understand better what you're trying to say
The leader called Grizelle, who was the magician and the most important person for this job.
Fantasy · Zaysay
I just got here! I think this story is great!
'Well, I don't have a place to stay and it would be hard for me to live alone. What with my 1 mana. Haah'
Fantasy · Zaysay
Very true
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Eastern · Suiyan
if he created the system why didn't he create unlimited space?
His inventory still had limited space, but it was all fine for now.
Fantasy · Sixth
He shouldn't have taught her anything
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Eastern · Suiyan
He should have refused to say as payback for tricking him into giving her a lot of money and her still backstabbing him
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Eastern · Suiyan
Ayyyy, Don't worry bro, practice makes perfect. This is 👍
Demon God
Fantasy · Zaysay