Webnovel Author: Pomu - Novel Collection

Pomu

Pomu

LV 12

Hey, I'm Pomu! I like writing fantasy novels for fun. Welcome to my whimsical and steamy world of laughter, pain, and hopefully enjoyable story-telling. ^^

2020-09-09 Joined Japan

Badges 13

Moments 295

Pomu
Pomu
Pomu
Pomu
Pomu
Pomu
Pomu
5mth
Replied to IAmNameless

Typo my bad. Will fix it. 👍 Thanks for letting me know. 💙

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The Author's Descent

The Author's Descent

Fantasy · Pomu

Pomu
5mth
Commented

Great, well-written first chapter. Gonna read some more!

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Pomu
5mth
Commented

I certainly hope not... haha...ha...

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Pomu
Pomu
Pomu
Pomu
Pomu
11mth
Replied to Railvas

You're absolutely right. Little oversight from me! Thanks for catching it. Should be corrected now. 🙏

As I inhaled, I envisioned the mana particles in the air converging toward me, drawn to my mana core. With each breath, I felt the energy building within me, a gentle warmth spreading through my body. My core during these last 2 years had stopped expanding altogether, but the more mana I accumulated I noticed slight changes to its colour until one day, I felt a welling in my core, a sharp pain like I had never experienced before.

Night's Shadow

Night's Shadow

Fantasy · Pomu

Pomu
Pomu
11mth
Posted

In my view, the writing quality is consistent and effectively captures the story's events, emotions, and details. Adding more descriptive language could enhance certain parts, but overall it's immersive, particularly when exploring Argos and witnessing Leo's battles. The dialogue strikes a decent balance, though it can feel flat at times which the author can improve with time. It would be beneficial to focus more on showing rather than telling which is done a lot here. I also suffer from the same dilemma, so we're stuck in this together! The updates are stable, and while the 75 chapters are short at times, they are impressive. The story progresses consistently, but shorter chapters limit opportunities for deeper development. Leo's character growth is well-presented, and encounters with creatures add richness to the world. Great potential and can't wait to see where it goes with more time and work added to it. 4.4/5

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Pomu
Pomu
Pomu
11mth
Posted

I would give the story a perfect rating of 5 out of 5 based on its potential for the future should the author work on a few of its flaws. However as it stands I can only give it as high as 4.0 starts out of 5 based on the factors below. - Writing Quality - While the writing quality is commendable, some improvements could be made to enhance clarity and organization. Clearer paragraph breaks and formatting would make the text more reader-friendly, and explicit transitions between different points of view (POV) would help avoid confusion. Although the writing demonstrates proficiency, grammar and syntax could be improved by addressing punctuation errors through careful proofreading, also a congruency between tenses needs to be perfected. - Story Development - The character interactions are skillfully written, effectively conveying their personalities and emotions through well-crafted dialogue. The inclusion of the hidden cave and the search for Izuku adds depth and suspense to the plot, which could be further explored for a more engaging experience. It is crucial for the author to clarify character motivations and intentions to provide better context for readers and deepen their understanding of the characters. For instance, delving into Izuku's initial fear and confusion upon encountering Kurama, followed by his growing excitement and determination to become a hero with Kurama's guidance, would add significant depth to the story. - Character Design - I think more detail could have been added on the characters, motivations, so as to give context to readers who are likely not as familiar. You could even go as far as to change how the characters look in your fan-fiction. - World Background - To provide context, incorporating more descriptive language to vividly depict the setting of the world would benefit readers who may be unfamiliar with either story. This would enhance the overall reading experience and create a more immersive environment. Overall, the story exhibits great promise, effectively engaging readers and leaving them eagerly anticipating what unfolds next. The narrative immediately grabs the reader's attention with an unexpected encounter between Izuku and Kurama, introducing a captivating twist to Izuku's journey.

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