A Reader and Aspiring Authorš āLove thy neighbor as thyselfā¦ā - Leviticus 19:18
2023-01-20 Joined Global
Great first chapter :) I would recommend splitting the opening paragraph into smaller ones
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Chenai kinda sus ngl
ch 0 9 CHAPTER 9: THE TWELFTH HOUR
Fantasy Ā· Odogwu_d_wise
Correction : āSureā is missing here
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Fantasy Ā· Odogwu_d_wise
Correction : Arena
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Fantasy Ā· Odogwu_d_wise
Correction : I assume itās supposed to be that he is āNotā interested, and make it magnetic presence of the āYoung manā not āBoyā
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Fantasy Ā· Odogwu_d_wise
Correction : there is a double āTheā here
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Fantasy Ā· Odogwu_d_wise
Correction needed : two typos here for beautiful and the
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Fantasy Ā· Odogwu_d_wise
I already have some plans for that ;)
ch 13 War and Unfairness
Fantasy Ā· DigitalFootprint
I probably should since I read through everything myself
ch 12 Temporary Goodbyes
Fantasy Ā· DigitalFootprint
Thank cf broššš¾
ch 0 3 Peculiar Twin
Fantasy Ā· DigitalFootprint
He will meet them again soon :)
ch 12 Temporary Goodbyes
Fantasy Ā· DigitalFootprint
This is how their interactions usually are
ch 0 3 Peculiar Twin
Fantasy Ā· DigitalFootprint
This chapter hides a lot of details that will later be explored in the story! I tried to make it as less confusing as possible :)
ch 0 1 Gray World
Fantasy Ā· DigitalFootprint
Thank you so much for reading :)
ch 11 Moonlight Melody
Fantasy Ā· DigitalFootprint
Iāll edit it right now
At the back of a good looking, modern bakery which sold yummy looking bread and other popular pastries at the heart of the central district, a hardworking young man was offloading bags of floor and sugar from the back of a transportation cart, moving with swift efficiency despite the scorching heat from the sun.
Fantasy Ā· DigitalFootprint
The next chapter explains its origin story!
ch 0 4 Pandoraās Box
Fantasy Ā· DigitalFootprint
Lars is just there to annoy Elias honestly lol
ch 0 3 Peculiar Twin
Fantasy Ā· DigitalFootprint
Making this review after finishing the 7th chapter er and honestly Iām impressed :) the Author knows how to captivate an audience from the start and Iām interesting in seeing where the story leads us to