Discord: Joshan#1534Instagram: _joshan_jo
2023-03-15 Joined Global
instead of directly coming to dialogue, maybe we can add a para or two explaining the world background he teleported to
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omg!! this is such a nice carefully pieced para
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lol
Trace immediately spun around and started to run. He would not fight that thing- it would dismember him before he landed a punch. And even if he did, he doubted he would do any real damage with his scrawny frame.
Fantasy · TheOneWho_Asked
yup...so be afraid of crazy ppl, hehe
'No one ever touched me. To think she cut me with her sword …. She is one crazy lady…'
Fantasy · redlady
it isn't
Trace sighed. "Well, shit. I'm starting to feel like this isn't a dream." He said, flinching as another roar echoed through the area.
Fantasy · TheOneWho_Asked
it's isn't
Trace sighed. "Well, shit. I'm starting to feel like this isn't a dream." He said, flinching as another roar echoed through the area.
Fantasy · TheOneWho_Asked
duh.....
"She should take a rest …. maybe finding a husband would make her life easier."
Fantasy · redlady
I like women who fight
Ilona knows that will be no use being scared by them as long as she had her sword tilting on her hip as she enters the deep forest path. Her skills were not to be taken as a joke. She used to fight with her father. She never won against him but she protected herself from his powerful swings that destroyed even his soldiers that wanted to fight with him. Her technique is even better than back then.
Fantasy · redlady
lol
"How was work today?" She hugs Ilona with her breasts. The short big sister is again reminded of her height and growls.
Fantasy · redlady
I liked this writing style. It's simple and easy to follow. The opening scene is interesting, which grasps one's interest. The author did a very good job in balancing the dialogue and description. The character design is good, the world background is nicely explained. Keep up the good work author
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Wow....it's one of the finest writings I came across.
The story is interesting and is a potential one, however I need to say there is a lack of description at places, which makes it hard to imagine when reading. Also, at some places, it's confusing, like it's just happening because MC wants to do it without any motivation behind his actions, also, the first chapter is a bit confusing. So if the author could spare some time to edit the initial chapters, I can say it will reach more audience. Keep up the good work author