/ Book&Literature / Stories of Progeny, traveling through worlds
Synopsis
Seems like the time has come for another party to begin. Let's hope this one will be a success. World - Potterian. Person - random.
***
Met truck-kun. Obviously died. Nobody survives after fateful meeting with him.
Afterwards, I was reborn in the different world with the system from my favorite game! However, there was a catch - I had negligible amount of knowledge about this universe.
***
I open my eyes and see [You were caught during unauthorized entrance into a magic academy!]
"Oh cmon... System, do you really need do this every time? Now... what will I do?"
[Pick a race]
"..."
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4.01
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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\З= ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) =Ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ▄︻̷̿┻̿═━一 ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°) ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ ಠ_ಠ (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\З=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=Ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ) [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅5̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴ ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° ) (͡ ͡° ͜ つ ͡͡°) (• Ε •) (ง'̀-'́)ง (ಥ﹏ಥ) ﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿ O'RLY? (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ | (• ◡•)| (❍ᴥ❍Ʋ) (◕‿◕✿) (ᵔᴥᵔ) (╯°□°)╯︵ ꞰOOQƎƆⱯɟ (¬‿¬) (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜) (づ￣ ³￣)づ Ლ(ಠ益ಠᲚ) ಠ╭╮ಠ ̿ ̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\З=(•_•)=Ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿ /╲/\╭( ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡°)╮/\╱\ (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ ♥‿♥ ༼ つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ༽つ ༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ ) ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪ ~(˘▾˘~) ◉_◉ \ (•◡•) / (~˘▾˘)~ (._.) ( L: ) ( .-. ) ( :L ) (._.) ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴ ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ ᕦ(Ò_Óˇ)ᕤ ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻ ⚆ _ ⚆ (•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
Giving you a review since you asked for one. Story development is pretty nice, a bit grindy but I can see it's starting to pick up. The characters, well I mean there's only one OC so far, and there hasn't been much said about who he was before he transmigrated into the HP world. Thus I can't really say much about him. What I can say is that he's very normal. Like the textbook answer for average, which is fine I guess. He's not overly evil, but not quite a goody-two-shoes either (from what I've read so far, maybe he'll develop a savior complex or something in the future). His alignment would probably fall somewhere in between neutral-good and neutral-evil. The other characters are just normal, no real changes from the HP books. There isn't much to say about the grammatical side of things. There are lots of little spelling errors and errors in sentence structure but the overall flow of the story isn't damaged by them so it's tolerable. You should maybe get a friend who's good with their English to read over it to see if he can fix some of your smaller mistakes (only works if you have friends though). Cant really credit you much for worldbuilding so far, other than the fact that you didn't mess it up, which I guess is good in its own way. As a proper review I can't rate the book very highly, but I still tremendously enjoy reading it, so do keep it up.
The story although overall relatively good, it has a few rough patches. Such as the beginning, there are several times at which I heavily felt like completely dropping the novel. Although I persisted I don't really feel like it has payed off yet. The pacing was like a crawl at first, then jumped quite fast, then appears to entering crawl mode again. I appreciate the work the author has put in for it is clearly extensive and plentiful but I feel like the concept could've been done better. I'll continue to read just because I'm still on roughly on fence and I've read, and slugged my way through far, far worse but I may find myself dropping it sooner rather than later. If someone is using this as a reference on whether they should read the novel themselves, I'd say to go look somewhere else for a novel to sink some time into. Although there are far worse novels out there. There are also far better novels out there. You'd probably find yourself enjoying them a lot more than this one. Thanks for reading! :)
One of those stories that I feel just doesn’t understand. Basically, too much emphasis on the system and an entire backstory for it. Almost nothing for the Harry Potter world at all. Maybe the magic aspect was slightly developed but that’s it. Plot and events and character interactions are summarized and downsized, and I can feel the author’s strain when writing interactions. Everything devolves into this ‘mature’ MC whining about having to interact with children as the excuse for the little details of the plot, and eventually author just throws out any way to change canon with multiverse and ‘order’ plots. By the time I caught up, I became bored as heck. This isn’t a Harry Potter fanfic because it definitely wasn’t written by a fan. Just a guy who wants Potter fandom when really it’s to push his ideas of ‘order’ and multiverses which he himself said he’d written about years ago... when I saw that I realized this isn’t the novel I was looking for.
Very unique idea with the skyrim System, grammar is fine. Daily Updates so far and overall a enjoyable read. Some tags/spoilers would be nice though, like will there be romance? Some bashing?
The very enjoyable Harry Potter FanFiction I love the introduction of the Skyrim system to it makes it very enjoyable the very interesting read I hope he continues on
Ok so when I first saw this fanfic i thought holy sh*t the Skyrim system in harry potter sounds awesome I was imagining the mc doing the fus ro dah to random wizards or the mc doing funny stuffs to people with the sneak skills but I was disappointed to read that the system has nothing related to skyrim, its more like a grinding system and he can't use any skill from skyrim (from where I stopped reading at least), the only skills he has are things the mc has done for example he has been training in occulmency so he got skill in that. So yeah my opinion is that the system has nothing related to skyrim. Don't get me wrong the story is nice but it doesn't have anything related to skyrim, I don't know if that's going to change later on but as of now I just stopped reading since the reason I read was because I was interested in the reading about Skyrim powers in the harry potter world.
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Since it's a skyrim system, we always gotta have a console with console commands.....hehehehe, changing race in the middle of walking, lmfao
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Interesting as far as I am concerned ~ Read a lot of put off comments, but everything was fine for me cuz this is your story, what u want to write is your choice, sure people may help u build it, there is no denying that but at the end of the day, it's your story ~ (In short people like different things ) All in all nice concept ~
okay, so here's the thing, your character development and design are basically ****, sorry for offence but when I see your story and it's potential it just irritates me to no end that you mad your MC take the path to become a hermit and die in a castle/house/hut alone with a sad ending, i just want to drop it
Interesting if you read. Sometimes progresses very fast and gives long explanations for every ability but story development is good. Definitely worth a try.
The novel itself is fun to read and like the other reviewer said sometimes seems very grindy, which leaves alot of questions hanging around, but its typically very minor. It has a great yet weird premise, I like how u basically kept it as open ended as you can for yourself, still weird though. But I like it, keep it up and don't give up.
Great story and background in a favorite story but unfortunately I can’t tie the author down and make him/her write .......... why can’t the review be shorter?
I hate and love this 💔 novel.its a little slow paced In the start of the novel.soon after gets incredibly interesting MC reincarnated from Earth with some knowledge mostly basic storyline .but there are 2 things I hate about this novel MC doesn't get Granger pushes her on Harry because of his fake death and his system(systems son) fucking was manipulating him most of the time and fucking takes his fucking body and system(mother) to do replace way his mother was before and just get more knowledge honestly I hate that MC gets technically killed and the new 🙄🤔MC(systems son) ****ing doesn't seem has interesting than the original MC he is almost emotionless in a way aleast the original MC was ok dude
I know this story ended but I'll throw my hat in the ring. I've read up to chapter 40 something, and that's where you lost me. 1. There's no character dialogue, mostly skipped over, and replaced by rants about how annoying and dumb the other party is. 2. This doesn't feel like an HP, the addition of the progeny, and multiworlds and athena really ruined it for me. 3. Then there's the plot that came out of nowhere with Dark and Markus, too sudden. Those are pretty much my dislikes for this story, otherwise it's been pretty good. Hope that was some decent criticism. Thanks for the effort put into it.
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This is awesome. Try writing different universes like the dxd universe but in angel faction. Or naruto universe but expand it from jist a single planet to multiple ones.
Thank you for the grammar that is better than most fanfics on this site. It is a wonderful reprieve to go along with a good story. I hope you keep writing and enjoy yourself by doing so!
I gotta say the first chapter was completely and utterly USELESS! It ruined the story for me, the MC can choose HP races (which makes me think the system is a Skyrim _like_ system not a Skyrim system) but all of them are extreme demerits and he's forced to choose Human anyways then he chooses his looks to be THE exact same before he was force in HP (and don't get me started on him not wanting to be at least above average in looks everyone has something they don't like about themselves and he wants to be the same...). I firmly believe the system name should be changed to the Troll System.
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