/ Fantasy / Outside Paradise
Synopsis
An old man is upended from his life as dementia begins to tear through his memories. A corrupt politician hunts down women from outside the city walls. A group of young men struggles to survive in the wild as Fall turns to Winter. All outside of Paradise.
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16Reviews
4.58
- Translation Quality
- Stability of Updates
- Story Development
- Character Design
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There are almost no grammatically errors throughout the whole story that I've read through so far. Characters are interesting and have depth, however at some points they feel underdefined. Frequency of updates is commendable, when referring to the detail found in the writing. The world starts out with a dense personality, but slowly expands allowing for greater versatility. overall, I am quite impressed by the quality of writing, and dedication to the work you've shown, and hope to be able to follow your work in the future.
Most of the writing is adequate and easily to follow, but it does do a good job at showing what was going on. Some paragraphs are too big and long, but it's forgivable as long as you can keep track of the story. My only real criticism is the characters, so far there hasn't been anyone standing for me personally, eventhough each is introduce in a fair way. So far so good, keep on writing, author.
Your story is great. I was just confused with the prologue. The plot is interesting, characters are were developed and I really like it so far. I didn´t see any mistake. Overall a great book
I don't understand what all these prologues are about. It's really messy. Prolougue supossed to be an opening to a story that establishes the context and gives background details, often some earlier story that ties into the main one, and other miscellaneous information. Maybe it's better to sort everything out, make a plan and start all over again? Just to save the content which is interesting, the beginning is addictive. I don't see any language mistakes, which is an advantage.
Shameless Plug - Thank you for checking out my story, I hope to continue this and won't be dropping it no matter what! This story has been brewing for a while and I just want to get it out there for people to see, as I think all stories should be! Thank you again and I hope you enjoy it!
This is a refreshing plot. The main character's mental and emotional decadence is something that you, the author, have executed well. His actions and thoughts are goodly defined. The same goes for the other characters. The setting also gives me 1984 vibes, which I really like. However, you sometimes overextend with your descriptions, and lots of your sentences are awkward to read. Try using more commas instead of abusing the word "and". Your paragraphs can be too long sometimes. This makes them tedious to read. Try dividing them into smaller paragraphs and use more periods. Otherwise this is a good work. Keep working on it.
There's a definite hook in the first chapter that will keep you reading. This is a very good example of what a futuristic novel should look like, and has very strong 1984-like vibes. The character is interesting, the human reaction and the dialogue between characters is interesting, the world is interesting! The grammar and spelling are very clean. The delivery of the story is excellent. This is a good book, I hadn't quite intended on reading the entire thing but I did- good job Author!
I can't say much since there aren't many chapters currently, but this shows a lot of promise. Compared to most of the original novels on this website this novels has better grammar, spelling, and story.
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Hey Webnovelist! Good day for writing! If you want to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new works, you might want to email rebecca.review@outlook.com. We are mainly looking for adventure novels (Fantasy, Sci-fi, Paranormal Urban, Action, Thriller/Suspense, Game). A brief introduction, along with a few samples or links, will be appreciated when reaching out. You might be our next top writer!
Great story, and the premise is quite interesting. I can't wait for more chapters to come out. I wish you the best on your book nd look forward to further aspects of this story.
Had rarely read this kind of story but I gotta say that it's so interesting and wll written! The story's development is nice but maybe you could cut the paragraph shorter to make it easier to read. Good job author!
Great story you have there, and the premise is quite interesting. I can't wait for more chapters to come out. I wish you the best on your book!
Haven't seen a novel with so many prologues as of yet. It new and innovative approach. Descriptively tailored background with a traditional touch, you would find in books century or some few decades ago. Impressive style and character portrayal. Nice work!
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact Kacyringdom@hotmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
There's something creatively poetic in the first prologue. (I have not encountered a novel that has several prologues). The writing style seems befitting the traditional publishing. That being said, the quality is commendable. However, I suggest to cut the paragraph into shorter ones to aid the readers' eyes more, since most read from the app (mobile phone). Good luck and keep on writing, author. 👍