Origin Master

LV 3

Houraji

So this would be a littbe bit spoiler for those who haven't read it, The concept of the story is quite interesting, instead overpowered or average mc, this mc however, lower than average... his suffering like without end just because being weak even weaker than a person without Qi. I think his honor and lust for revenge that would likely become the core of plot pushing-wheel The story in my opinion is a bit rushing, especially first two chapters. I think in the beginning the readers should be given how the mc's life in the family that despise him like show them the kind side of the mc and how he sacrificed and protected the weak, in order to create a strong bond with the mc, so that when he eventually get banished, the readers would get the feeling of sorrow and empathy. Then the writting, I think it's the punctuation, especially lack of coma and then the "tone color" of the dialogues to give the characters, charachters. Overall the story is unique even tho this is the first martial art-based novel I read. With the time, you'll eventually become a great writer! . . . . . Sincerely, ~ Houraji Ballare

LV 3

BRPever

Okay, let me be honest here. The writing needs a lot of improvement. The sentences are long, and there are a lot of punctuations missing. The tone is straightforward and has little flow. BUT THAT'S THE ONLY BAD PART HERE!!!! If you go beyond the writing quality, you will find an amazing story. The characters and world are well and show's writer's passion on the work. Amazing, keep up the work and keep on improving. :)

LV 1

Aman_as

I think the rule in the first chapter is quite interesting and the way you don't try to hide the expression of the character like writting bastard, bitch and all so openly is quite something. Looking forward to next chapters

LV 1

DavidDarllan

The first two chapters show a world dog eat dog that we are used to seeing in xianxia novels. The novel's mc is a kind and good guy that knows what is to be weak in a world where the strongest can kill the weakest without be arrested or suffer something. I liked the first two chapters and I want to read more, you can make a good novel if you keep the hard work

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LV 1

Kera_wood

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