/ Fantasy / Exiled
Synopsis
“In a place where gods live there is a ranking that can distinguish your authority, a rising god named Alvis, was a newly formed god of Strategy, formed 230 year, however being newly formed he has ranked high-silver, thanks to his expertise, being able to step within top-silver, made other gods wary of his existence, but unable to do anything because of the heavenly pledge,
During his 250th anniversary, because of this a phoenix dropped by a golden scroll saying Alvis is to be promoted to Mid-Class, a Class where you will be rewarded with your own planet, which made others extremely wary of him and other started making speculation of him leaching of gods of higher ranking,
with his position being at risk, as soon as Alvis received his new badge a planet was transported to him, Type 1653-Earth, a place where there are living beings are able to survive, he can change the conditions, the information or create creatures that can adopt and to the circumstances of the planet, as soon as this info was given to him he started reshape it into a game like world.”
*please understand that the english here is really messy, because it's not my first language, this is also my first time writing, please point out something if its wrong*
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7Reviews
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Your plot is amazing. There is a lot of space for improvement which I'm sure you will go through easily. The complexity of the plot might be hard which I hope you can keep up with and keep going. All the best!
This is a really good story, however, given how hard and complex the story already is, it might be hard to develop the story correctly. I hope the next chapters will not be bad because of that
Good start on the book,the complexity of the plot is something I hope you are prepared for because this story needs justice. Check on the small grammar mistakes but otherwise keep it up.
Well. The idea is wonderful and so huge, original. I mean, it can be developed into something very interesting. Is this Earth our Earth? Will all the people acquire a game system cause of this new god? It's just the grammar that confuses the reader. Also, i see you have the same problem with overusing the word "then" just like me. I would suugest you to delete the unnecessary ones as I always do when final editing. This word, it just slows down the pace. Overall. Interesting work with a potential to become something big! Just keep it up!
i really like your concept its just really cool but i wish u put more into it, like a goal like the other commenter said, it's like his just running around without q goal but obtaining skill, but i really like it, keep it up!
I really love the concept of your story! However, there are few things that I'd like to ask and point out. In your story, you must have a stake for the main character, and something the readers would sympathise about. It needs to be urgent and a goal for the main portagonist to obtain. English is a very difficult and peculiar subject, so I advise you to read your chapters out loud and learn all the techniques needed to make a story. Besides that, I hope you learned something with my review and comments I left in the chapter!
Hi Guys! if you enjoyed this, add it to your library it'll make me the happiest! [img=recommend] Thank you for Checking and have a nice day!