Ramoshi The Last Senju

LV 3

HadesOnDrugs

So your idea is very good/unique but since naruto is based on Japanese culture you have to take that into consideration. In Japan people give very importance to hierarchy like senpai koi hai relation so in your story everyone feels like they are talking to people of the same age, like if naruto is 40 why is the mc talking to him like he is his brother. The characters speech doesn't sound like the character at all like shikamaru speaks in a lazy way in your conversation he feels like he is energetic. Chapters are short, events happening in chapters are short. So you got a lot of work to do, it's not like the other generic naruto fanfic but still u still got a long way to go.