Calling it by what it is would be too wrong

Jin Yong has always felt she grew up too quick. She could never understand her father, for a matter of fact no one could either....
She was quick to understand that men will always be men but could never bring herself to apply it in real life.
She tried to study men, observed them and read novels based on real lives.
She was honestly scarred.

It was only an initial search for love and led to chain to a bunch of chain reactions. At one time she had completely become dependent on guys. She dated far high and far low.

She became self destructive and needed an escape from reality. She pulled herself back. Sombered down and here she was hoping for her life to take turns when she had finally settled down with a great guy. Again.
Things had gotten bad with her father.
Self destruction it was. She really questioned the existence of love.

Who knew she'd be destructive enough to....