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4.42
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- Character Design
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This review is part of a swap. What I like is the originality to the cultivation and Rebirth themes, utilizing Chakra and known methodologies into the story. Quite ingenious actually. I really enjoyed MC's moment with the gods and the trials. His Rebirth is gold, brilliant. MC is coming across as a well rounded character. Kind of like an anti-hero. The telling of his family is cleverly executed. A few things this story needs. Revision for technical quality (grammar and typo fixes, novel format), especially in the first chapters up to when MC meets God. I'm going to be honest, those chapters were really sloppy. These are your opening chapters, which need to hook your readers line and sinker. Also, when it comes to opinion type perspectives like the prologue, be aware that some readers may take offense or feel awkward by it. When formulating such character opinions, they need to be written so it's clear that the perspective is from the character and not propaganda. It has to come across objective, non bias and (of course) story related. I've seen a lot of authors get in hot water because the narrative comes across as propaganda, political agendas and so forth where it really isn't. Even I've fallen into this trap and faced some nasty hate mail for my self pub stuff because peeps thought I'd spoon fed them gay. You don't want that. If you revise these things, you have a potential 1m+ viewer with power stones raining in. I'm even cocky enough to say this can be a contract worthy story WN can proudly show off provided the technical and storytelling quality is smooth and tight. Lift the bar. Thanks for sharing. I hope my feedback hel** a bit.
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact cttbx123@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
This is an awesome book and nothing is going to change my mind about that. It has a good character development, epic and totally different cultivation system and what's more it's totally logical😌
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact geekyteddyyo@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample charpters or links will be appriciated when reaching out.
Lots and LOTS of grammar errors, for example "off particles" when "[some text]... of f-particles" is meant. Reads like a bad automated translation with even worse software-based automated cleanup after scanning printed text. MC is obnoxious, and of course a genius infinitely smarter than anyone else. Style is that of a 12-14 year old writer who is way over-confident. Way too much useless story (or non-story), you can skip-read over many paragraphs and not miss much of interest.
super read ............!";';';;'"!"!"!"!"!"!"!"!'!'!!""!"!"!!"!"!"!"!'!'!"!'!!"!"!'!"!'!"!"!"!'!"!:!__!!_!__!!"!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_
writing reviews everyday so that the author would feel like coming back to write next chapter ;*;*;*;*;";";";*;*;*;*;*;*;";"!"!""!"!;"!";"";";"!"!"!!"!"!₹!"!"!"!"!"!"!"!"!""!"!!"!"!"!"!"!"
author please come back ::::::::::::::"::""::"":"::":"":":":"::"":":"::""::":":":';';";";""::"":":":";";";;"";;"";";";';';';';';;';';';';';';';';';';
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Reveal Spoiler
Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp
0.5 star because sexual harassment is not good if you are 2 or 40 years old , all the incestuous moments, the inconsistencies the fact that it is sold to us as a charismatic genius and that in the end we end up with the character of shonen typical genre Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic. (but at least he was a real child and there was no incest) (Also I suspect the author of suppressed critics with small note) (translated with google translation)
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
☺️💐💐🤭🤭😂😂😂🤭💐💐☺️💐🤭🤭😂😂💐☺️💐🤭😂😂💐☺️🤭😂😂💐💐🤭😂🤭☺️💐🤭😂😂💐💐💐🤭😂🤭💐💐💐💐💐☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️💐💐🤭🤭😂😂🤭💐💐💐💐💐💐☺️💐🤭🤭🤭😂😂😂😂🤭💐💐💐💐💐
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Thanks for the novel 😀😄😁😊😁😄😄😆😆😯😇😯😇😆😆😂😁😂😀😂😁😀😊😁😁😄😆😄😉😆😯😆😯😇😆😇😆😂😆😂😁😀😁😀😁😊😁😄😄😆😉😆😇😯😆😂😆😄😅😆
Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice
This is a really good novel, the story progression is slow but steady. The author seems to be more focused on world buliding and character development. I think the author wants to properly develop the main character before introducing more action. 🤔
Nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice
I really enjoy this much, everyday I looked forward to reading more and more. There is a lot of suspense and the plot is pretty good. I say give it a shot.
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Reveal Spoiler
typical world background lack of creativity 💩 character design & development pedo & weep activitys . idk why but EVERY novel w/ this concept is always an epuc fail imho ! some how someway it'll find a way to be 💩
I love your work author please keep writing. I dont know how many other people are reading this novel but i know that if you keep posting more ill keep onreading and sending stones👍
very good story. mmxnxnxfnfjfjfjfjfhfhhffhfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfhfjfjfjciixjrhfcuufjrfjfirhfhcidjfhfhxhchcujfhfhcjfufjcorjfhcfjdijfncfjfirknfjcfirihfjcfjirbfbfjfirifbrhfirjrbhfjfhrbfifjrhdhdidjrbfhdjdi
this is surprisingly a good story but less known... dnjdjdjcjcjcjcjfjfjfjfjfjfnfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfkfkfkfkfkjfjfjfjfkdjfkfjfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfjfjfjfjfjfuivjvkvkckvkvkvkvkvkv dmjcjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjffjfkfjfkjfj
Worst clifhangers all over the chapters. Timeskip are sudden and doesn't descrive what happened during that time leaving out important piece of imformations. Many important information was left like how he was saved, who attacked him with arrows. who impriosoned his dad. why they did that. really the worst way to skip time.
Apparently I have to write 140 words to rate this so I'ma say make more author you have a too inconsistent updates and it's like your starting one of those comment Patience Sects
As of chapter 18, the story is coming along beautifully in regards to the plot, but what really stands out is the world building of the author. The author makes me want to delve deeper into the world that he has shown us, and continue reading more. The author has a flair for drawing in readers into the world that he has created. There are a few grammar mistakes. There are a few parts where you should check how you phrase certain things. I realize that the author likes to use double punctuation like ?? or !! once in a while is fine, but if it is used too often then it detracts from the effects that it should give. Other than that, there is nothing else for me to criticize. With a bit more polishing, this story will really shine. The chapters are wonderfully long, too. Keep up the good work, author! :)
This review is part of a swap. What I like is the originality to the cultivation and Rebirth themes, utilizing Chakra and known methodologies into the story. Quite ingenious actually. I really enjoyed MC's moment with the gods and the trials. His Rebirth is gold, brilliant. MC is coming across as a well rounded character. Kind of like an anti-hero. The telling of his family is cleverly executed. A few things this story needs. Revision for technical quality (grammar and typo fixes, novel format), especially in the first chapters up to when MC meets God. I'm going to be honest, those chapters were really sloppy. These are your opening chapters, which need to hook your readers line and sinker. Also, when it comes to opinion type perspectives like the prologue, be aware that some readers may take offense or feel awkward by it. When formulating such character opinions, they need to be written so it's clear that the perspective is from the character and not propaganda. It has to come across objective, non bias and (of course) story related. I've seen a lot of authors get in hot water because the narrative comes across as propaganda, political agendas and so forth where it really isn't. Even I've fallen into this trap and faced some nasty hate mail for my self pub stuff because peeps thought I'd spoon fed them gay. You don't want that. If you revise these things, you have a potential 1m+ viewer with power stones raining in. I'm even cocky enough to say this can be a contract worthy story WN can proudly show off provided the technical and storytelling quality is smooth and tight. Lift the bar. Thanks for sharing. I hope my feedback hel** a bit.
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact cttbx123@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
This is an awesome book and nothing is going to change my mind about that. It has a good character development, epic and totally different cultivation system and what's more it's totally logical😌
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact geekyteddyyo@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample charpters or links will be appriciated when reaching out.
Lots and LOTS of grammar errors, for example "off particles" when "[some text]... of f-particles" is meant. Reads like a bad automated translation with even worse software-based automated cleanup after scanning printed text. MC is obnoxious, and of course a genius infinitely smarter than anyone else. Style is that of a 12-14 year old writer who is way over-confident. Way too much useless story (or non-story), you can skip-read over many paragraphs and not miss much of interest.
super read ............!";';';;'"!"!"!"!"!"!"!"!'!'!!""!"!"!!"!"!"!"!'!'!"!'!!"!"!'!"!'!"!"!"!'!"!:!__!!_!__!!"!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_
writing reviews everyday so that the author would feel like coming back to write next chapter ;*;*;*;*;";";";*;*;*;*;*;*;";"!"!""!"!;"!";"";";"!"!"!!"!"!₹!"!"!"!"!"!"!"!"!""!"!!"!"!"!"!"!"
author please come back ::::::::::::::"::""::"":"::":"":":":"::"":":"::""::":":":';';";";""::"":":":";";";;"";;"";";";';';';';';;';';';';';';';';';';
Expexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexlexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexp
Expexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexlexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexp
Reveal Spoiler Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp
0.5 star because sexual harassment is not good if you are 2 or 40 years old , all the incestuous moments, the inconsistencies the fact that it is sold to us as a charismatic genius and that in the end we end up with the character of shonen typical genre Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic. (but at least he was a real child and there was no incest) (Also I suspect the author of suppressed critics with small note) (translated with google translation)
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
☺️💐💐🤭🤭😂😂😂🤭💐💐☺️💐🤭🤭😂😂💐☺️💐🤭😂😂💐☺️🤭😂😂💐💐🤭😂🤭☺️💐🤭😂😂💐💐💐🤭😂🤭💐💐💐💐💐☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️💐💐🤭🤭😂😂🤭💐💐💐💐💐💐☺️💐🤭🤭🤭😂😂😂😂🤭💐💐💐💐💐
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Thanks for the novel 😀😄😁😊😁😄😄😆😆😯😇😯😇😆😆😂😁😂😀😂😁😀😊😁😁😄😆😄😉😆😯😆😯😇😆😇😆😂😆😂😁😀😁😀😁😊😁😄😄😆😉😆😇😯😆😂😆😄😅😆
Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice Nice
This is a really good novel, the story progression is slow but steady. The author seems to be more focused on world buliding and character development. I think the author wants to properly develop the main character before introducing more action. 🤔
Nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice
I really enjoy this much, everyday I looked forward to reading more and more. There is a lot of suspense and the plot is pretty good. I say give it a shot.
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Reveal Spoiler typical world background lack of creativity 💩 character design & development pedo & weep activitys . idk why but EVERY novel w/ this concept is always an epuc fail imho ! some how someway it'll find a way to be 💩
I love your work author please keep writing. I dont know how many other people are reading this novel but i know that if you keep posting more ill keep onreading and sending stones👍
very good story. mmxnxnxfnfjfjfjfjfhfhhffhfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfhfjfjfjciixjrhfcuufjrfjfirhfhcidjfhfhxhchcujfhfhcjfufjcorjfhcfjdijfncfjfirknfjcfirihfjcfjirbfbfjfirifbrhfirjrbhfjfhrbfifjrhdhdidjrbfhdjdi
this is surprisingly a good story but less known... dnjdjdjcjcjcjcjfjfjfjfjfjfnfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfkfkfkfkfkjfjfjfjfkdjfkfjfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfjfjfjfjfjfuivjvkvkckvkvkvkvkvkv dmjcjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjffjfkfjfkjfj
Worst clifhangers all over the chapters. Timeskip are sudden and doesn't descrive what happened during that time leaving out important piece of imformations. Many important information was left like how he was saved, who attacked him with arrows. who impriosoned his dad. why they did that. really the worst way to skip time.
Apparently I have to write 140 words to rate this so I'ma say make more author you have a too inconsistent updates and it's like your starting one of those comment Patience Sects
As of chapter 18, the story is coming along beautifully in regards to the plot, but what really stands out is the world building of the author. The author makes me want to delve deeper into the world that he has shown us, and continue reading more. The author has a flair for drawing in readers into the world that he has created. There are a few grammar mistakes. There are a few parts where you should check how you phrase certain things. I realize that the author likes to use double punctuation like ?? or !! once in a while is fine, but if it is used too often then it detracts from the effects that it should give. Other than that, there is nothing else for me to criticize. With a bit more polishing, this story will really shine. The chapters are wonderfully long, too. Keep up the good work, author! :)