Harry Potter: Malfoys Rising Star

LV 5

TheMothMan

Quite good Hi I am interested in the position and would like to know if you have any questions please feel free to contact me at any time and I will be there at the same time as the other one is a little more than I can say is that you are not feeling well and will be back in the office on Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday this week and next week is fine with me but I don't know if you have any questions please feel free to contact me at any time and I will be there at the same time as the other one

LV 4

CharleyHerrera

Nice job with this one'and that the sister is a grifyndor wow'that was the best i hoping to see more about this one'very nice story'...............xDxDxDxDxDxDxDXdxD

LV 5

Jane250

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

LV 3

Ascharit

Fantastic writng. Good grammar. The Mc is uniqie and quite interesting. Overall fantastic work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LV 4

alesjandritos

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

LV 10

DarthVegito

Had potential but then it became so boring the MC was all talk later in the story... was a waste of time reading after the first few chapters

LV 10

TurtleManiacc

dont drop it plz IM FUCKING HUGE HARRY POTTER FAN and il ove fanfic JUST DONT DROP IT TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

LV 5

SUBSCRIBE_MY_LIST

The story is well written and interesting enough. Plenty of details to go around but I think too little actually happens. I like his out of school exploits but they're short in chapters, where as his numerous school chapters simply have me wonder if it's ever going to be interesting. In a way the MC reminds me a bit of Tatsuya from irregular at magic High school. They both have that somewhat cold clinical vibe to them mixed with intelligence. I think that perhaps you can draw some inspiration from that and other highschool based fictions on how you can make the schooldays interesting instead of a tedious chore that you're trying to breeze through so you can write your out of school bits again. Another thing I miss is some sort of end goal. Like becoming the strongest wizard, building an empire, gaining a harem or becoming the next dark tosser. Something that all his actions eventually are stepping stones towards achieving... I think if the school bit was more interesting, and you entered a main goal to connect all his adventures together, giving him a clear motivation / driving force for his action s then, I would have rated the story higher.

LV 5

snake1

What is the author thinking sorting his sister to gryffindor might as well marry his sister to Harry Potter so you can simply copy original story where mc follow Harry Potter on his adventures and help him on side the author has lost his creativity I am really disappointed in this novel I am dropping it