Keepers of Every Universe

The premise is promising, but it fails to fully capture my attention. Don’t get me wrong: the idea itself is interesting and unique, but I’m not really inclined to keep reading because of the following: Stakes: What happens if they fail in completing the lessons in time? Who would be impacted by this? Why should I care about those who are impacted? Personally, as a reader, I need some stakes. I need some things to root for and to be scared of happening. And after reading all current chapters, I feel just… neutral. I’m not really invested. Character: except for more than a handful of factors, I don’t really know anything about your characters. They’re a bit of a blank canvas with here and there an outline. I need more in order to familiarise myself with them. I can understand that it is difficult to dive too deeply into the character of a divine being (as the ambiguity can add to the majesty and mystery) but in order to care for them, I need them a bit more fleshed out. Overall, I believe this story has some real potential. Just keep on practicing. In order to end on a positive note, I will confess that your grammar, sentence structure and overall writing quality lies high above the norm here on this platform. I wish you all the best!

As I left a comment in the chapter before about the problem, I will not go into much detail about this. But to put it most simply, your character writing is not good, if not straight-up bad. To put it in a single sentence, this story is as wide an ocean and deep as a puddle, possibly even less. I have read seven chapters so far. The actual positive that I have is that the ideas are very interesting, which may be the only thing I have positive about this story. This novel's real problem is character writing, which is one of my biggest problems. The world itself is interesting enough for me to continue to read. However, the thing that is holding it back is the character that is very much lack in personality or anything in general. It becomes a dull read quickly due to how the character interacts and talks; there is some hint in character, but calling it a hint would be too generous. A character learns that our MC has the power to create life, and all of his reaction is boiled down to "wow, that's cool" that is possibly the worst reaction you could have; you can have so much when the character is put in that kind of situation, but you seem to underused it too much. When the MC have the power to possibly do anything, create anything, or make anything that he wants, there is also so much potential there, but no, there is nothing. When the woman said he should create humans, he followed her order and did not even try to do something else. Doesn't he want to create something else? Doesn't he want to make something else that is not the world itself? Why should he even follow her in the first place? Not only that, but what is the goal of this story? What is the point of this story? You, as the writer, why do you want to make this story? What is the story that you are trying to tell here? A good idea and concept are not enough to carry a story, so you must do more. Like I said before, writing is king; no matter how awesome and cool your plot and the world are, I might as well drop this novel if the characters have no charm. If the novel continues like this, I might as well read fanfiction because they have very distinct characters, at least in those stories.

First of all, let's start with good stuff. I actually liked the profoundness of your idea, that you went for the idea of an almighty creator creating a successor, teaching them how to create their own universe and also hinting at the uncertainty that lies beyond for the almighty herself as she has no idea where or how her ceasing to exist will happen. Then the man learning his way to become the keeper is well constructed. Your prose style of writing is pleasant and offers an easy, smooth read that I could read all the available chapters at once. Now the cons: For the entirety of seven chapters, all that happened was what I said above. I get that creating a universe is massive business, but there is nothing to the plot apart of that. Nothing that keeps you curious - nothing that makes you anticipate, no thrill. What happens after the man successfully creates the world? He rules over them as almighty and that's it? The plot has no conflict to hold a reader. The three characters I've come across so far works only as news anchors, they give the reader information. Not much of a feel to them, or distinctiveness that differs them from one another. Nothing that makes you hate one or root another. So, character building remains untouched here. Thirdly, I give your world building full star score on the creator business but then, during the last of available chapters the creator with help of that man pulled in from another dimension has gone back to create what we know and can very well picture ourselves. If you are given an empty slate of a world and power to fill it with your creations, why would you go and create a copy of a world that live in your subconscious? Wouldn't it be better if you go and create something no one has ever thought of? Shouldn't the creator be creative like that? That's what I thought at the end. Once again, there is so much potential in the almost lyrical prose that you write. I wish you all the best and all the luck to improve your craft. Cheers!