Synopsis
(author notes: I don't own the image, it's from Youtube)
In the world of the Shinobi, there are always monsters that were on par with gods, but what if, the recent incarnation of Asura, the one that was always called the Demon child was the child of literal Demons?
And what if, The child had a brother?
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Honestly everything in the story seems really detached. Like you were writing a story about someone, but not in the view of the main character. Everything also seems very rushed. Little to no character friendships, romance or anything that helped you get to know the character more. Im kind of sad because of how much potential it had.
It's a giant summary. Whilst I like the content, there is a reason I've never published simular such stories of my own. Without actual interactions between people it lacks something. A specific kind of soul to the story. That said... Plot wise I also have some issues with it. Since essentially volume one is this: "my oc becomes an ss rank Shinobi, is outcast for being fem narutos brother, gets stuck in a seal so naruto verse goes mostly along the lines of Canon up till kaguya. That gets resolved in a way. Now I'm starting volume 2." With that you have a summary of the summary that is volume 1. Plot wise... There is nothing interesting there... Nothing that makes this story pop. Even naruto grows up pretty much Canon without training and knowledge from her oniichan... So what did this story do!? What tale did it tell? What was the point if the entire first volume comes down to that? The whole story lacks detail. This is the outline for a story, of what you want to happen over all. In that function it serves its purpose. As a story however it lacks detail.
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Update fast.