Webnovel Author: vorlefan - Novel Collection

That was fun to read, it kinda reminds me the old times where I was in the lan houses, playing Mu, Counter Strike, and having that competition. It has room for improvement, in the overall aspects of the novel, but nothing a good rewrite don't fix it. Keep up the good work, miss Orange :)

Thank you <3

[From: The Best Review Swap - Proofreading and Feedback] Since it has only two chapter, I couldn't deep more in the story, however there are some point that could be improved: - The POV is really confusing sometimes. Often I'm confuse if its a narrator or the MC, its seem you mixed Third Person Point of View with First Person Point of View. I recommend to review it, because otherwise it would be a blocker for some readers. All in all, keep up the good work :)

[From: The Best Review Swap - Proofreading and Feedback] There is few chapters for me to form a good feedback about the story itself, so I'll focus on other points that could be reviewed to improve even more this novel. Writing Quality: It lacks three important points, structure of the sentences, remove redundancy and adjust the pacing, flow. What I mean by that is: The flow is somewhat disrupted by complex sentences that might require unpacking. Shorter, punchier sentences could be used to punctuate the MC's stark realizations and inner thoughts could be a good way to do it. Stability of Updates: I don't really judge this part, because myself have problems with this xD. Story Development: With only two chapters I can't judge it, but its showing a good premisse. Character Design: Good point here, in the second chapter. With the First POV, its a good way to describe and give more flesh to the character.