Gaure

Thank you for reading! :)

It's a pretty good story, my friend. However, I would like to point out a few things. Yes, it is necessary to express dramatic scenes with exaggeration, but you should dial down on the adjectives, makes your sentences look redundant. Also,"Staring with eyes filled with unimaginable hatred", staring is obviously done with your eyes while unimaginable hatred doesn't exactly help your readers understand the character. Instead, try "He stared at his foe with contempt, feeling bitter regret that he had so once called, this traitor, his brother." I mean no disrespect, my friend. All I wish is to help you become better in your craft. Keep writing! :)

Before anything else, I'd like you to know that my review is with the genuine intent to help you improve by pointing out strong points and mistakes. First of all, please a little bit of mystery to your synopsis. Next, to create an immersive story, you should work more on focusing on one perspective else the reader would know too much. That makes them less immersed, my friend. You are a great writer and have an impressive story. Keep it up! :)

Quick Writing tip: Use Grammarly or any software that helps find grammatical mistake and help with the story's quality. Superb worldbuilding btw, though it took some time for me to understand. Great story, my friend! Keep updating and please follow my tip. :)

Thank you so much for reading! :)

Thank you for reading! :)

Thanks for the review! :)

Thanks for the review! :)

Great job on the Worldbuilding! Perhaps a few grammatical corrections here and there. I suggest using the Grammarly app to help you with finding errors.

Okay. So first of all, I am not a big fan of romance novels at all. But hot damn, this is good. Outstanding character development! Please keep writing. 😀😅