Webnovel Author: Gaure - Novel Collection

Thank you for reading! :)

It's a pretty good story, my friend. However, I would like to point out a few things. Yes, it is necessary to express dramatic scenes with exaggeration, but you should dial down on the adjectives, makes your sentences look redundant. Also,"Staring with eyes filled with unimaginable hatred", staring is obviously done with your eyes while unimaginable hatred doesn't exactly help your readers understand the character. Instead, try "He stared at his foe with contempt, feeling bitter regret that he had so once called, this traitor, his brother." I mean no disrespect, my friend. All I wish is to help you become better in your craft. Keep writing! :)

Before anything else, I'd like you to know that my review is with the genuine intent to help you improve by pointing out strong points and mistakes. First of all, please a little bit of mystery to your synopsis. Next, to create an immersive story, you should work more on focusing on one perspective else the reader would know too much. That makes them less immersed, my friend. You are a great writer and have an impressive story. Keep it up! :)

Quick Writing tip: Use Grammarly or any software that helps find grammatical mistake and help with the story's quality. Superb worldbuilding btw, though it took some time for me to understand. Great story, my friend! Keep updating and please follow my tip. :)

Thank you so much for reading! :)

Thank you for reading! :)

Thanks for the review! :)

Thanks for the review! :)

Great job on the Worldbuilding! Perhaps a few grammatical corrections here and there. I suggest using the Grammarly app to help you with finding errors.

Okay. So first of all, I am not a big fan of romance novels at all. But hot damn, this is good. Outstanding character development! Please keep writing. 😀😅

Oi, why you lookin at me like that? Every writer would think their work is perfect, so don't judge me. Muahahhahahah!!!😸 And besides, It was quite a ride wasn't it?

Sorry for the late reply! I have quite a bit of experience in story-making and I can say that you have great potential, especially in the story development and character building part so good job on that. But the setting needs just a little more work to help readers make a clearer image of your universe. :)

Thank you very much for reading! :)

"With great power comes great responsibility." right? It could be that Jay, having become the man with the greatest power in the room, realizes how he had become what he so hates after exacting revenge on the bullies. And so yadayada, But you can also choose the fallen route where he relishes in his newfound power and proceeds to go against the world like Killmoger in Black Panther. The choice is yours, my friend! Keep writing.

That is quite a twist. I never thought this kind of genre could be used in that way. I didn't see that coming at all(p.s. I didn't read the synopsis and just went to the 1st chap directly hehe). There's not much to criticize, honestly. Good work author!

Great Character Development! I'd like to focus more on the fact that the main character is basically a really dark Captain America who's moral compass leans on vengeance rather than justice and honor, which could later be understood with how horribly he is treated. Overall the grammar and story structure is okay, could use a bit of improvement. One advice I can give though is: allow your character a chance of redemption. Keep up the good work, Author!!!

Thank you for the review! :)

Thank you for the review! :)

Thank you for the review! :)

I believe in constructive criticism, especially when rating the work of a fellow author, so I would like to give you some advice as well. :) First of all, the story is quite mysterious but it catches the reader's attention early on! The idea of other tribes recognizing themselves as the "Humans" instead of designating that term to us, is a very intriguing concept. I have to say, amazing. However, you seem to have overlooked a few mistakes in the beginning and should therefore reread your content. It is a crucial skill to be able to realize your mistake and grow from them as a writer and I am trying to help you do that. Quite a number of grammar errors here and there, the story structure tends to be quite vague so please spend more time developing the setting as much as you do to characters, and that's pretty much it really. It's a beautiful story. Keep up the good work, my friend!