Apprentice4

Apprentice4

male LV 5

Seeking Dao through writing. For any queries, suggestions, or messages: Apprentice#8660 on discord.

2017-08-02 Joined Global
Activity
Original works
Badges 18

Moments 197
Apprentice4
Apprentice4
9 months ago
Replied to shay_654

Thank you so much. This encouragement means a lot.

Apprentice4
Apprentice4
3 years ago
Posted

The novel undoubtedly has a great premise and the way author writes makes you even more curious about the story. Although there are numerous grammatical mistakes that make it hard to focus on reading, it's getting better in the latter chapters. Kudos Author!

Apprentice4
Apprentice4
3 years ago
Posted

I love how the author is slowly fleshing his characters out. There's no rush, no clear-cut boundaries, and no hurried introductions that don't make sense. Although the grammar needs to be tended to, it is still something tht doesn't hamper the reading experience. Good job here

Apprentice4
Apprentice4
3 years ago
Replied to OnizukaShinu

You can delete all of these comments of mine then bruv if you've made changes

This paragraph has been deleted.
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Action · OnizukaShinu

Apprentice4
Apprentice4
3 years ago
Replied to OnizukaShinu

no worries man, just keep doing what you're doing and keep tryin new things. Grammar and word choice and word order'll get better with time

Apprentice4
Apprentice4
3 years ago
Replied to OSM_1015

'the' girl makes it sound like a title, you can rather use sth like 'vilian, a young girl'

Apprentice4
Apprentice4
3 years ago
Posted

So, I'll divide this review in pros and cons. Pros: -Author has an interesting concept going for him, especially in terms of MCs power and his hidden identity. it would simultaneously make a great slice of life and action novel -The familiar school setting makes it easier to relate to -It's worth it to pass time, especially when it's hard to predict the happenings Cons -The author's perspective is inconsistent, some lines are written in the past while some in the present, some active and some passive, though nothing that good editing can't fix. -The choice of words could also have been better but again that'll automatically get better with time. What's important here is keep experimenting, keep doing new things with it, try to create something completely original. As for the problems with language, they'll get better with time. All the best!

Apprentice4
Apprentice4
3 years ago
Commented

too chuuni💀

"Mere mortal dares to interrupt my sacred time!" She said full-on loud to my face.

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Action · OnizukaShinu

Apprentice4
Apprentice4
3 years ago
Commented

use acquire instead of purchase

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Apprentice4
Apprentice4
3 years ago
Commented

but after taking so many hits*

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Action · OnizukaShinu

  • Vishrampur Echoes original

    Vishrampur Echoes

    Horror MYSTERY DARK SURVIVAL SLICEOFLIFE URBAN NO-HAREM SCARY MYTH

    In Vishrampur, where ancient legends whisper through shadowed temples and cutting-edge AI blurs the line between myth and reality, nothing is as it seems. Lives are entwined with a mysterious app whose eerie predictions are more than coincidence, they are warnings. “Did you hear? That AI app foretold a death in Patel Bazar last week. And then… it happened.” “It’s just a coincidence,” Kamla muttered, but her fingers trembled as she stared at the glowing screen. Step into a town gripped by fear, where every secret is watched, every shadow holds a threat, and the future itself may already be written.

    19 Chs 11 Collections

  • One Sword is Enough original

    One Sword is Enough

    Fantasy ADVENTURE SYSTEM WEAKTOSTRONG SUPERPOWERS CULTIVATION ANTIHERO CAMPUS FASTPACED LIGHTNOVEL ORDINARY

    In a world where power is everything, Lorian has nothing. A late teen with no affinity for magic, no talent for the sword, and a body too weak to awaken the Knight's Manual, he is the disgrace of his minor clan. Tolerated out of obligation, despised for his weakness, he survives on the fringes, a ghost in his own home. His kindness, once a natural instinct, has been worn thin by constant humiliation and betrayal. He’s learned the hard way that in a world of Mages and Knights, good intentions are a liability for those who can’t back them up. His last hope–a desperate hunt for a monster core to buy his way into a trade guild–ends in disaster. Used as bait and left to die by his so-called companions, Lorian lies broken in the mud, facing a gruesome end. In his final moments, his soul doesn't cry out in fear, but erupts with a raw, world-shaking hunger for power. Not for glory, but for the simple, brutal right to exist on his own terms. His desperation resonates with a forgotten artifact: a broken, rusted sword, stained with the blood of a fallen Immortal. The ancient blood awakens and bonds with him, forging a symbiotic link and granting him a cryptic, minimalist system. It offers no grand quests or easy rewards. It has only one function: a Feedback Loop. Now, the path to power is simple, yet arduous. Every swing, every battle, every drop of blood spilled feeds the hungry sword. And in return, it feeds him–doling out raw strength, refined skill, and fleeting glimpses of the ultimate technique that felled a god. His growth is tied to a single, brutal truth: to get stronger, he must fight. To repair his sword, he must consume the world's most precious resources. Guided by a cold pragmatism born of a lifetime of weakness, Lorian embarks on a journey. He will not play the hero. He will not seek validation. He will face arrogant mages, ancient beasts, and otherwordly demons with the same broken, rusted stump of a blade. He will show them that against a strike that can sever fate itself, their flashy spells, profound techniques, and indestructible armor are utterly meaningless. One sword is all it ever should take. This is the story of an anti-hero who learned kindness is a weakness, but discovers that true strength isn't about flashy moves–it's about having the will to make the one strike that ends the fight.

    8 Chs 2 Collections

  • The Peerless Huntress of Silvermore original

    The Peerless Huntress of Silvermore

    Fantasy MAGIC WEAKTOSTRONG MYSTERY DARK SUPERPOWERS TRAGEDY REVENGE WEREWOLF VAMPIRE

    Tiff is a laid-back yet adventure-seeking girl from the peaceful border town of Silvermore. She wants nothing more than a normal life with some adventures with her sisters to spice it up. However, when one of her adventures turns into a misadventure, Tiffany faces the consequences of her actions and gets ready to go on another adventure to set everything right. Unfortunately, she gets drawn into a complex power struggle among the dominant races of the continent before even reaching her destination.  Can she find reliable allies in the dystopian world that's bent on breaking her will and rise above her inner demons? Or will she succumb to the whirlpool of chaos and lose herself in the midst of internal strifes, conspiracies, conflicts, and battles that she doesn't want to fight? This is the story of a simple girl who finds herself becoming the greatest huntress on the face of the continent, just to become that simple girl once again.

    21 Chs 0 Collections

  • The Huntress of Silvermore original

    The Huntress of Silvermore

    Fantasy MAGIC WEAKTOSTRONG MYSTERY DARK REVENGE WEREWOLF DRAMATIC VAMPIRE POWERFULCOUPLE DETAILED

    4.98

    Tiff is a laid-back yet adventure-seeking girl from the peaceful border town of Silvermore. She wants nothing more than a normal life with some adventures with her sisters to spice it up. However, when one of her adventures turns into a misadventure, Tiffany faces the consequences of her actions and gets ready to go on another adventure to set everything right. Unfortunately, she gets drawn into a complex power struggle among the dominant races of the continent before even reaching her destination. Can she find reliable allies in the dystopian world that's bent on breaking her will and rise above her inner demons? Or will she succumb to the whirlpool of chaos and lose herself in the midst of internal strifes, conspiracies, conflicts, and battles that she doesn't want to fight? This is the story of a simple girl who finds herself becoming the greatest huntress on the face of the continent, just to become that simple girl once again.

    39 Chs 52 Collections

  • Timeless Celestial's Odyssey original

    Timeless Celestial's Odyssey

    Fantasy ACTION ROMANCE ADVENTURE MAGIC COMEDY ANTIHERO

    4.96

    Wounded and frail, sleepless and starving, beset with complications, the journey of the 'Timeless Celestial', the harbinger of chaos and order, began in despairing conditions with nothing to hold on to other than a sincere hope. Follow Ryne as he adventures the lands unknown, meeting characters that he would rather not have known, depending upon them to find his way back home. Learning to take caution and make compromises, he hardens his will to rise to the top. Ps: If the owner of the cover's artwork wants to take this down, please contact me.

    124 Chs 445 Collections

  • The Stepping Stones original

    The Stepping Stones

    Realistic ADVENTURE REINCARNATION COMEDY TRANSMIGRATION CULTIVATION

    For every Mc that rises to the heavens, countless side characters bite the dust. This is a first-person anthology of the tragic stories of the mountains of corpses that lost their voices under the damage caused by the unfair tropes

    21 Chs 23 Collections

  • Grey original

    Grey

    Fantasy ROMANCE ADVENTURE COMEDY TRAGEDY

    The son of the marquis and the daughter of the Duke of a small kingdom were kidnapped together in childhood by an unknown criminal. 10 years in the future, two teens embark on a journey full of uncertainty and dangers to find their home again.

    1 Chs 26 Collections