/ Fantasy / There was the sunset
Synopsis
After breaking the rules and getting involved in a war that takes place on Earth, angels are banished from Heaven, and they must begin their own fight in order to avoid extinction, while being hunted by those who were part of the initial war.
As they take drastic measures to protect themselves, a young angel, Shiray, is forced by circumstances to take the matter into her own hands and find a way to save her species.
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21Reviews
4.75
- Translation Quality
- Stability of Updates
- Story Development
- Character Design
- World Background
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This story has an interesting plot. I just noticed some inconsistencies. I think you should not use past tense if you started telling it in the present tense. It gets confusing. There are too many explanations that I think will be better told through the action of the main lead. I think some readers don't want to hear explanations, they want to witness it. I also think it would be more dramatic if the angels being killed are familiar to the main lead. Readers want to feel with her not just walk with her. You had the idea but I think you want to tell it all at once. Maybe you should walk slowly with the main lead.
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The Good: Excellent writing quality overall. The details given to each scene really helps build everything up around the characters. While the FL appears to be a very common trope, she is still given enough substance to stand on her own. I also like a romance that doesn't read like a romance. The Bad: The switching from first-person to third-person POV and back is a bit annoying. I feel like it's just angels and vampires on whatever planet they're on, presumably earth, is there supposed to be humans too? I may have missed it honestly. The Neutral: The author makes the FL come across as a young and naïve angel, but then they make it sound like she is the reason the angels came down in the first place. At least, that is how I read it and found it kind of confusing. Good job and I look forward to more chapters.
This review is after the first chapter. The writing quality is great, nothing is taking me out of the story. Except the wall of exposition at the beginning. It did flesh out the world quickly, but i prefer a slower introduction to a world that keeps the reader wanting more. But I did not dock points for my personal taste. I don't like romance myself and probably won't read more. But if you do like the tags I say give it a shot.
Hey man, I've got a few things to say. I'll try to keep it as constructive as possible but also honest. 1° Enormous masses that are your paragraphs. I would recommend breaking them up into three or even four parts. It will boost their visibility. Actually, the first chap isn't the only one with long paragraphs, but the longest is there. Also, I didn't quite catch why you switched from present tense to go to past tense. And sometimes you just use the present tense in the same paragraph to rapidly switch to past tense. It's confusing. I advise to keep it to past or present tense at all times, unless it's very justified. 2° I think you have too much exposition at the beginning of your story. I seriously almost gave up to read the first chap. Though, I'm not everybody, so it might please some other people. But I advise to keep the exposition (explanation about the story) of your 1st chap (mainly) to the minimum. 3° I don't know why, but I want to be honest with you, so I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I just want you to improve on certain stuff. 4° Your story is very interesting. I feel some Darksiders vibe out of it and I like those kinds of stories. It has a lot of potentials and your writing is good. I don't say that I'm the best author out there, I'm so far from it actually but if you just broke down your paragraphs into small ones, I assure you that your readability will benefit from it. Keep up the good work author! Peace out.
The synopsis caught my attention to read the story further...I loved how the author showcased each character in the story especially Shiray...Very detailed writing and choice of words are remarkable...Highly recommended book...Looking forward to reading more chapters...Excellent work, Author!
A very interesting concept of a fallen angel. The writing is good but I would like to see more spaces between thoughts and some large paragraphs broken up! Other than that great start!
The first thing I noticed about this work was passion. Pure, unadulterated passion. It really shone through the pages and that drove me forward through the story. There is a heavy darkness that underlays the fabric of the novel. It can be, at times, restricting and tense. It feels heavy, like a rich chocolate cake, and needs some brighter, simpler flavours to ease the density of the overall piece. I believe that the author is a talented writer, one with a great amount of vision. They clearly understand the concepts they wish to portray. Practice, as always, will make perfect. To the author: break some of your sentences up. Split the paragraphs into shorter, manageable passages. Your readers will thank you, especially considering the complexity of your exposition and narration. Good work, you deserve to be proud.
Your synopsis caught my attention. I like reading stories that involve angels. Writing quality is good, with very minimal grammar mistakes. Sentence structures are concise and clear, the author narrates the story beautifully. The story has a good pace. It keeps the readers wanting to read more. The characterization is quite solid, so is the world background. It piqued my interest to know more about the MC's background and future adventures.
What a refreshing story to read. Thanks, author for creating a story that isn't just about storytelling but always gives vivid details and explained interestingly to keep the readers waiting for more.
I have deep respect for authors who spend their time building the world's settings and characters. Your writing is very detailed and helps the readers immersed in the book. Interesting story line and a good way to start the story. Don't stop in the midst, your book is waiting to be discovered in the sea of novels.
this is the first time ever i read a novel about fallen angel and i really like a lot this story, the first chapters are really good and i m waiting for the next chapter so please keep updating :)
This is a great story. Lots of description and a first POV gets me immersed in the novel. Author does a great start right from the jump and gets you wondering on what is happening. As you continue to read, more questions come as some are answered. Well done Author! Keep it up!
A gloriously-impressive world-building tale of angels and demons among us. Our lead fallen angel is a vibrant character richly detailed and easy to connect with. The backstory is exciting and engaging, and the writing is quite good. All in all, this is an excellent beginning.
Liked the descriptions, man! The writing quality is good, its stability of updates is nice. Overall: A very nice read! Descriptions were lit!
The concept is quite interesting. The story development is good, as is the world background. Your writing quality is excellent. The only problem is the really long paragraphs. It would be nicer if the paragraphs were split up more. The character design is also interesting. Good job.
Wao this is just amazing :D The writing is absolutely beautiful, and I'm really really amazed by the description! :D Everything is just beautifully and poetically described, and it's wonderful hehe! I like the MC's personality too hehe! Me is rooting for herrr <3 Maybe spacing some very long paragraphs can make the reading experience smoother, but that's subjective hehe! Great work, authorr <3
A work of art is how I described your story. It's well written, the descriptions very vivid and poetic. I'm keeping it in my library for sure! Great work!
This is a really, really high quality piece of work. The writing in my opinion is of professional level- its poetic, descriptive and packed with imagery. I adore the main character and how the writer delves into her emotions and thoughts, really allowing her character to be expressed and blossom as the story progresses. I think the plot is fantastic, and it really appeals to my style of writing. I don't think I have a bad word to say about this book. I would absolutely recommend this to anyone. Fantastic work author, I am hooked and will certainly keep reading
You have a great fantasy story right here, readers! Angels, Vampires, Humans, great emotions exposed by our lead and a fairly well written and detailed world background. Author, I really liked the descriptions and the feelings transmitted by your words, though, I would say that the paragraphs are a little tiny bit bulky, but I then again I think you have a way with words, author. The story development kept me really intrigued. I will keep your story in my library hoping for more chapters.
A great Fantasy Story written by the finest of hands and adorned with the perfect grammar and efficient sentence design. I love the characters, I love the way you describe each scene with precision that I can imagine it very vividly. This book deserves the best, I can vouch for that. Great work.