I did love you... But it's you who was wrong

LV 15

XOMatsumaeohana

Part of a review swap, valid for chapter 2 Writing Quality: 3/5 The only reason why is because of the dialogue format. I can't accurately give a assessment of the authors writing style. Because he/she story looks more like a script for a play than a actual 'story'. I think it would be better for you to avoid writing in this style at least on this platform, I do not see any writers writing this way. Story Development: 3.5/ 5 - While there is only two chapters out, Character Design: 2/5 - I can't see who the main character is, is it Jenny? Since she is the first one introduced. The low score is hence because of the dialogue writing style. It's difficult for the author to flesh out the characters personality, writing in this manner. So many characters are introduced in chapter 1, without any prior introduction. Like for example Jenny's Dad, the author could have added some details - what he looks like, maybe his job etc - and relationship with the character. Is it good, bad etc? World Background: 3/5 Because of the dialogue format, the author is not able to give detailed description description for setting. I do not know the location of each characters, whether they moved their hands took a few steps forward. Spoke quietly etc, there is no 'action', just 'text' Updating Stability: Only two chapters out, so I can't give a rating. Overall: 3, I'd really like to give this story another review when the author switches writing style. I feel like it has the potential to be a great story, but from the way it is written now - it's more suited to be a play script than a story. Please do your best and don't be discouraged from writing

LV 2

Manel_Haddada97

This chapter is more exciting and creative. The grammar was so better and there's not to many english faut . I wish you will get better more and more and you will be a famous writer. I really like the style of this story, the writer has her own style that's why she's specific. Good good.

LV 4

Allen_Clay012

Writing Quality 3/5 - This is the grade I gave because of your writing style. There are errors too in capitalization which you should not overlook. Usually if you write novels you do the dialogue style like you did. Those are just what I have observed. I will not comment on grammar since I am poor at it at the moment. Stability of updates 5/5 - I shall not pressure you on these matters. What matters most is quality over quantity. You should focus on writing first before mass producing chapters. Story Development: 4/5 - Decent but generic love story. Not my taste but its passable. Character Design 3/5 - I cannot say much about the characters as of the moment since the story is new. World Background 3/5 - Too generic, since there is not much detailing given to the world nor its description where the characters are moving. What place or the setting is located. Total Verdict 3.6/5 - All in all the dialogue between characters is understandable. I advise you abandon the dialogue style. It does not help you practice your style of writing. You should focus not only on the dialogues but also the description of the world. Where are they staying, moving, breathing, eating and even sleeping. It is like the place where you glue them together. That's all for my review and I hope that it helps.

I believe your plot might have potential, it’s too early to say as there are only two chapters at the moment. Regarding your writing style, it could be better; the unnecessary capitalised words and prolonged letters could be tiresome to read for your potential readers. I advice you to keep writing since you can only improve by doing so. Don’t let my feedback demoralise you too much, it is meant as honest criticism, given in the hopes that it helps you improve. I hope you have a lot of fun writing this story.

LV 3

Micoline

It's probably more accurate to call this a script than a story. It would be fine if the grammar is good. But alas, it wasn't. The overused of elli**is and exclamation mark is just... well, let's just say not good. You even forgot to capitalized some things that needed to be capitalized. I can't focus on the story because I kept on correcting your mistakes inside my head. My suggestion to you is to read more novels. Study how they are writen. Because I think most writers are huge bookworms first. If you don't want to do that, then you should probably just write in your native language. That way, you could properly express yourself more. I hope you won't take offense in this. Good luck! 😀

LV 12

Lappidappi

Starting to read I was surprised to find out you were writing the name of the person speaking before the dialogue. Not being used to see something similar on this website. I was uncomfortable reading it. Still, continuing on reading to write a review, I found myself enjoying the new point of view, like it is used for example in Hamlet. If the gramma wasn’t so horrendous I might have even continued till the very end of the chapter and even the next. Sadly that is not the case. In my opinion you have to definitely work on your grammar and vocabulary, but if you get that right I can see you writing enjoyable novels. I hope you will continue on trying to write in English and improve. Try asking someone who has a good English understanding to help you correct you writing. 頑張ってねー！

LV 3

ManelSondos

I hope that you like it next chapeter wil be monday or tuesday..... it will be more exiting..... i hope that you enjoy it ..... Thanks to all

LV 2

Manel_Haddada97

I like it. I can see that that the second part will be exciting. I'm excited to see when everything will change ❤ i like the writer's style, it's like dialogue. This style is amazing and new for me. And i want to complete this story, i hope this will not take so many time because i'm sooooo exciiited

LV 5

RedCeiling

I would rate this work, 3/5 as a critic. But if just want to enjoy reading, it can be a good choice. Minor errs of punctuation but that should not tick you off.

LV 14

Gentle_Breeze

The story is interesting, but the writing style is quite different to most novels. It does seem more like a script which makes it difficult for the story to flow. I would personally recommend changing it so that we can more so feel which character is talking rather than being explicitly told. When I first started writing, I looked at other novels to see how they managed to do this, so maybe give that a go! Goodluck! :)

LV 4

ShinSungmi

Seeing that it is your first book, I must say that it has a great start. However, it requires bit of a development with the characters and the grammar.