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New World Magic System in Asoiaf
3.64 (14 ratings)
Synopsis
Transmigrated to Asoiaf with the purpose of reviving magic.
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14Reviews
3.64
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Your story is really good but it is lacking in the update frequency department. If you updated at least once a week you would probably draw in a lot more readers to this amazing story. Now if you update even more frequently that would make all of your readers happy but would also probably lead to burn out.
Love the concept but the story feels forced.๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
a refreshing idea I give you that, but it's kinda rushed to me, I'm never telling you to stop as yours is better than 75% of the FFs available on this app, I'm just advising you to not fall in the same mistakes as I. yours Moh999
I wanna like your story and I do like it. It is interesting to see magic being openly used and I think thatโs kind of cool he said of a lot of other stories that have magic kind of hidden in the background or slightly used. but but your character is so naรฏve. Maybe this is just a au Game of Thrones where everyone in the north are honest and willing to work together. This is a medieval world youโre writing about even in the North politics and plotting. No noble Lord is going to allow some upstart to gain power and land in his territory. What heโll do Is maybe listen to you tell him all about his powers and all the things you can do and then murder you take your children as servants to gain that power. In the books you donโt hear a lot about politics in the north as much and it seems like north is all together but I think a lot of it is because Ned is just an idiot and he doesnโt see whatโs going around him.
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Several pieces of ASOIAF's lore was easily discarded. You threw around magic left and right without the consequences that makes up the world the MC was in. The idea behind your story was great, but it was so poorly written that in turn makes it difficult to like. Not complaining about unrealisticallity since magic is involved but you threw away logic altogether.
The idea and concept behind this is great but I really couldnโt get passed how bad the grammar was,mostly in the form of unfinished words and wrong placement of them.In the future i would suggest just making sure your word placement and sentence structure make sense and flows,other than that though I hope you keep writing and improving.
Fawk disappointing fic. Right off the bat MC is OP as he transmigrated. No issue with murdering people. Know how to use magic like it was part of him. Explanation for it was horrible!!!
I don't usually do reviews but this was one of the most awesome books I've ever read I'd say this needed more detail but with the type of stuff he was putting in the book I think the amount of detail he did was good because it would have been hard to explain a lot of stuff other than that I would have liked more interaction with the family and their characters on a more personal level but overall absolutely love the story
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i am loving this story so far, it seem to be going in a good direction. great writing, and great use of the HP magic system. i like that the system does not force or constantly bring up quests for MC. i hate when stories with a system does that, as it makes the MC sound like a slave to it. overall good job, and DO NOT let this die out. [img=recommend]
So far its pretty good but some details needs to be checked again to match or fit in with the plot, also some ideas could have been improved like that 600gold&small ship for a magic artifact(manderly trident) haisssshhhh could have asked for more like plots of lands or trade agreement with house manderly since if a valyrian steel sword could go up to a million gold how much more with a magic artifact??
bit.ly/3LyRF1N ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐