/ Book&Literature / Story of the Demon Witch
Synopsis
A story about an unlucky soul that was given a chance to reincarnate as a demon in Xover world of Harry Potter & MCU
Tags: action, adventure, magic, superpowers, strong from the start, strong to stronger, yuri, gender bender, reincarnation, anime, marvel, harry potter, comedy, a slice of life
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Author:
English is not my native language and I am writing something for the first time, so don't expect much and please be tolerant of the mistakes that I will make. Suggestions are welcome.
I am an university student and am writing for fun. I am also quite a slow writer and avid reader but I will try to write and post new chapters as soon as I can.
Disclaimer:
I don't own Harry Potter and MCU. I don't own any character other than my OCs.
The cover is not mine.
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17Reviews
4.62
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- Stability of Updates
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- Character Design
- World Background
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I really like the character dialogue, it feels natural, and makes me want more of the story. Every time I finish a chapter, I become sad because it's already over. You should really try this fanfic out, you'll probably not regret it. Magn0lia signing out.
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good Story i Like the Design of the Charakter and the world [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
It's a good idea but has many typos. Plus I don't understand why you make a male reborn as female, you could from the start make the Mc be a female . You know I believe 2/3 of the people if they had reborn with different gender would probably kill them self from the depression and the phycological shock. Anyway the story is 3.5 stars cause of grammar but I gave 4 cause the idea is good and the chapters are somewhat big.
Okay, I am not one for reviews but this story deserves one so here it is: Writing Quality: 4/5 - It is fine. Some things like The Hogwarts Letter and The Thinking Cap singing could have been omitted and overall, the writing is not perfect but it is definitely better than most stories on this site. Stability of Updates: 5/5 - by default, dunno much about this since I just found the story. Story Development: 3/5: I was undecided between 3/5 and 4/5 here and I first rated it 4/5, only changing it once I wrote all the things down, realizing how many things I found irritating, to be honest. First is genderbending. Like, what was the point of that? To drive your readers away? You should have made the MC a female straight away and it would have been better, in my opinion. Genderbending is a massive flag for some readers and they WILL drop this story the second they realize what you did there. And this is just a small unimportant detail. I think it is not worth it to lose your readers because of it so I firmly believe it should not have been there. Also, there was not clarified that the MC was male at the start of the story so I thought he was female until his gender was revealed in 2nd chapter or so. That's simply bad writing right there. But also an easily fixable mistake so no biggie. Second is the whole 'You are now a servant of the Evil God' thing. That was annoying as heck. Totally useless too. You have weird fetishes, author... Anyway, unless the author wants to later do something with the MCU Demon Lords or spin some plot about that where this affiliation of the MC is relevant, then this part will be completely useless. Even if that happened, it is simply an unnecessary reader deterrent. Like, "I see that MC was made into a servant to some entity and I am friggin' out", is a default setting for most readers. You WILL lose readers on that point. And quite few of them, in fact. The whole thing felt like Mc being told he is now a slave of this evil god and he reacted like: 'Oh, well, okay?'. So... if he was told to spread his legs for the Evil God he would do it, no? After all, he is just a slave in a fanatical cult. I know you will never do that to your MC but the impression this gives is actually similar to all those devil-servant-desiring M-fetish-enjoying MCs in DxD fanfictions whose authors desire nothing else than to be spanked by their fictional devil owners. Be careful with that. Again, you might lose readers for a st*pid detail that might not even matter in your story at all. Not everybody has slave-fetish. Especially not one that puts them in the slave position. Of course, to clarify, the MC does not FEEL like a slave or servant at all. The author just used it as a premise to give MC power and probably will use it as a plot device later on. It just gives bad impression and then becomes irrelevant. So if you are a prospective reader and think slave MC is not your thing, don't worry, that's not happening in the story (as of now). Still it might leave a bad taste in one's mouth. The whole 'servant of the Evil God' could have been avoided if the Demon Seed was the MC's third gift instead of Agony and the reincarnation would have been through R.O.B. or something. Or the Devil Seed could have been a freebie without all this, 'You are not the servant and the new fanatic of an Evil God'. And if you still don't get it from how much I write about it, that part is the MOST OFF-PUTTING THING IN THIS WHOLE STORY. At least for me. It rubs me the wrong way. This leads me to the third irritating thing. The Agony Symbiote. Have you ever read a story with a sentient system? If not, then let me just tell you, it's MIGHTILY irritating to see MC's interaction with his system. You took it to another level, author. I did not appreciate the casual remark that Agony actually ate MC's pancreas once cuz she was annoyed by Mc. It's simply off-putting. Not cool. Not good. Just... ugh. The first few lines of interaction between MC and Agony and I was wanting to bang my head on the table from how irritating it was. I did not like that part of this story at all. Period. Plus, Agony is quite useless to MC anyway. She is a symbiote that can spit acid. MC has magic. I simply don't see any need for the MC to have this kind of symbiote. You went for this entire: Agony is MC's friend trope but it is simply meh. Useless and unimportant. I guess it could be developed in a very interesting way but I just... it's simply annoying to have two sentient entities in one body. Sorry but that's my personal standpoint. Another thing was taking the Browtuckle as a familiar. Again, irritating as heck. Not really that you did it but how you did it. The Mc saw a dying Browtuckle. The MC thought: 'How pitiful! Let's give it one of my VERY LIMITED familiar spots! Yay!' ... This was an utterly st*pid development that came out of nowhere. Don't get me wrong, I like the evolution potential of Browtuckle. It's a new idea and it can be developed quite well, but the way you did it? It was too rushed and gave the impression of reckless st*pidity. I must say I skipped through the generic 'Life in Orphanage' chapter cuz that's a part of almost every story like this and it is almost never important and always boring as heck. Meh. But that said, this story has a lot of good sides too. To not spoil the good sides too much, the wand-picking ceremony was very well done. The sorting was good too. The happenings in the Avery mansion were nice. MC's backstory is acceptable and kinda interesting. The overall plot is engaging and even exciting for me. I like where the story is going and am looking forward to what will come next so good job with that, Author. Character Design: 5/5 - I love the apathy and normal selfishness of the MC. It is not something like: 'I am villain, I gotta do bad things to prove that I am a bad guy, muhahaha!' kind of ret*rded thing that is becoming so common on this platform. It's simple humane selfishness where the MC does what she wants because she wants to do it and it is natural and friggin' feels good to read about! The apathy approach to most things is a breath of fresh air, to be honest. It's not done much in fanfiction and when someone tries to use it, it usually falls flat. You, author, did a great job with making an interesting yet somewhat apathetic MC. Again, Good Job. I like the MC. She is likable and relatable so far. Then again, I almost did give this 4/5 because of the occasional ret*rded and rash decision-making of the MC. World Background: 4/5 - MCU and Harry Potter. Nothing much to say, really. I am not giving 5/5 because of my personal bias. Unless you get Natasha Romanoff's a*s on MC's side, you won't get 5/5 from me here. :D. (Not that it matters since it is still overall 4/5 total score anyway) That and I am a bit afraid about how you will merge these two worlds. A lot can go wrong there. I can just hope you will employ a bit of common sense and do something that will actually make sense. --- Well, I tried to be fair with this and give it a proper thought. I mostly focused on explaining the parts I found badly done. Sorry about that but this is a review so that's kinda the point. Just know that I think there are a lot of good parts in the story too and it definitely has the potential to be a great work. I hope you will continue with it and make something great out of it.
I really like the OC, and how she relates with the other characters, and her environment... I especially like her eccentricities, she is just so wierd in a funny way 🤣🤣
Demon Witch? HP + Marvel? Buy It............................................................................................................................
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10/10 will continue to read for more people's brains being eaten :) ...................................yeet..............................
this is really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really
The story is quite entertaining and interesting. ....................................................................................................
I sometimes like HP x MCU, this one I love A LOT. Suou is an interesting character, combined with Agony creates a character that is likable. And the explanation on how she got enrolled in Hogwarts was smart. The Demon physiology is interesting, the immortality isn't perfect, you just age until 20 and then there the aging stops. The Demon Seed is a way to become immortal in the MCU universe if you don't encounter a strong soul attacker. I recommend this as a read, it doesn't have a lot of chapters when I'm writing this, but it has the potential to go super far.
The story and the character of the MC is interesting, along with how canon might go from here on. Still, if there were more updates in the week it would be perfect.
..................................................................................................................................................I like it ..................................................................................................................................
A fic with a lot of potential and a nice setting and frame for her reincarnation. And a little dash of gender bender never hurt anyone ☺️. Please don't drop this one cuz its very enjoyable to read as long as you correct the spelling mistakes.