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LV 4

amaturewriter

To any who thinks I am being cruel, I have explained..... Actual rating 3...heres why I gave 1 : -MC is an SI who was an *****, dude does 7 rituals and learns occumalancy by the time he is 5 or 6, ....now this is okay..BUT the thing is his brother does it too...the bro is a kid, he dosnt have the mentality to do it, ....its retarded. -The main reason for one star...the dude just tells a normal goblin that he is an SI [just read C7 you'll understand what happens]....dude, the goblins in HP were beings that didnt acknowledge deathly hallows existed, you fucking think they'd believe that a greater being beyond a god would exist...fucking retarded....also what MC tells he is SI?, at best you tell lovers,,thats it...**** its stupid...no matter the retarded contract MC does, its still stupid, dosnt make sense -theres more...the reason why MC came was to HP was fix the mistakes of another SI, ....the author thinks cannon is same, this is stupid!..ever heard of butterfly effects? ....do you know what happens?....HP's grand daddy dosnt exist, cause of the previous SI......this isnt butter fly,,,thats fucking mothra...cannon is ****ed,,,for all you know voldy is good cause he had a change of heart. So how will voldy exisit...I mean if HP dosnt exist the prophecy dosnt exist and even voldy wouldn't exisit [as I said before...voldy could;ve just died for no reason cause of butter fly effects] Look, it would've been cool cause MC is way before cannon and its multiverse but all the retarded **** author does makes this trash, no bash, just the stupidity is annoying.,,,no basic research or thought Delete this and I'll spam your ass author.

LV 13

TurquoiseTurtle

Your grammar is amazing and I love the characters. I also love how the story is progressing but I do think you need to go more in depth and explain things like his powers and abilities or the things he gets from Kevin.