IN Harry Potter With a System

LV 1

Godsreader_15

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. That is how I feel about this fic. The OC doesn't feel like he lived 999 lives, just doesn't exude the wisdom one would have. Alfred seems like such a crutch for Harry, like bro is literally setting up the whole thing in the background. The system is a nice concept, that's kinda what made me read more than 4 chapters, and I really like the idea of the founders predating Gringotts so they don't have vaults, even if Harry being heir of Hogwarts houses is so cliche. The grammar and writing is good, but I just don't like how the story is developing, so I'm dropping this at chap. 15. I give this a 3/5.

LV 5

_asdfghjkl2021

it doesn't read like a story, it's more of a summary per chapter. It feels so rushed and lacking that I feel like all the chapters I've read could have fit in 3 or 4 normal length chapters.His interaction with the Goblins and the Granger's are so 2 dimensional. I'm sorry if this review will hurt the author, but hopefully he takes this criticism and improve himself

LV 12

Darkling_Dark

Writing quality is nice, MC is extremally naive to the point of idiocy. Pouring way too much resource to grangers and for what? It is clear from the story up to now that the idiotic mc will go full hermione all the way. The hermione which is know it all, bossy and teachers pet. She is one of the characters i hate as much as ron and dumbles. Any self respecting character will keep away from those three and will not even touch them 100 feet poll..

LV 4

Dark_PersonJJ

So another OP HARRY with Harem story.Huh .Of well.

LV 14

Knight7863

bruh what is this it makes no sense he's progressing way too fast and too powerful

LV 13

ZypherLance

for a moment i thought harry potter that goes to gym

LV 4

_VIIX_

Even though this totally caters to my OP MC fetish, I don't think it's for me. Writing Quality(3/5): The initial chapters are great. The flow is nice, no major noticable info-dumps. But then it delves into kind of weird territory. The writing changes into a summary report perspective. Chapters do get shorter, the content even more so. I honestly dont't know why it happened. I mean I get it that you want to get done with the phase and jump right into the progressive one. But changing the narrative style was not a great decision. Or at least that's how I feel. Story development (4/5): I don't like where the story is headed. I don't like the author's choice of tropes either. But that boils down to preference. I did not like the Lily portrait thingy. He already has a system and my reasoning can't comprehend the need of him bonding with family when it's a transmigrated MC. But that's just me. In the end it's still going forward and things are happening in a good pace. People might feel it's rushing and it is, but that's what you do with an OP MC. You gotta branch out from the original one way or the other, so better speedrun the original events. Pretty sure author has villains prepared that are way powerful than canon ones. Character Design(3/5): Before Hermione it was my favourite aspect. After Hermione MC kinda turned into a simp and groomer(and I say it totally lightly). Author loves the bossy know it all. I dont't. MC is investing all his time, soul, money and power on Hermione to groom her to be his(put whatever the author says here) and I don't like it. Hence I'm ranting. In the end it's all about preference. I didn't want to see Hermione getting freebies, well she'll be turned into a slave later but all of this was really not needed in the first place? The MC is super OP by himself. anyways on to next____________________________________________________________________________Updating Stability will get full marks from me unless it's too bad. And the world background is a solid 4/5 so far. Coz even after using cliches, the author does actually branch out into different niche aspects of magic. Overall: (3.8/5) Probably would've liked it more if I didn't rewatch the first 4 movies just recently. Made Hermione so bossy that it was really hard to like the character even with Emma Watson's face. I would recommend HP fans out there to read it at their own discretion and form their own value, because it just hits different depending upon your preferences. Well if you don't like simp MC then you can avoid it. And being a simp is inherently neither right nor wrong. I feel I'm nowhere qualified enough to pass judgement on that but I personally don't like it. So there's that.

LV 4

Bob_Uchiha_XD

Typical fanfic Harry Potter (self insert). MC is Harry Potter. MC is OP. Gringotts is Harry's slave. Copy and paste the novel original. The Harry's Uncle is very villain. 😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪

LV 4

Lucifer515

Great story keep going

LV 15

Mehmehmeh

Meh this book has some glaring issues First off MC does not act like someone who has lived a thousand lives. He also has a boring personality like every character in this book, there are no character quirks or any thing to make me care about anyone. Then there is the whole MC is a 11 year old chid “convincing“ ( manipulating) people to do what he wants easily and without any thought or reason. (Examples like when he talked the grangers into letting him basically brain wash them or when he talked the tonks family into working for him for 10 years just for some info that he said he has) Then there is the whole multiple info dump chapters and the chapters that read like they are shopping lists instead of an actual book……… In the end I was bored out of my mind by chapter 3 but I gave it a chance and went all the way to chapter 35 and was still bored. I hope this review helps you improve your writing style author and I really do hope you become better and write more.

LV 14

Number1_sama

The main character behaves like a dumb child despite living 999 lives before this. I just can't. I'm completly unable to read this without dying of cringe. The dialouges in this fanfiction are complete garbarge and feel/ sound unnatural. I found myself skipping dialouges, entire paragraphs and later on even entire chapters. Decided to drop. Overall a badly written, wish fullfillment power trip fiction. If you truly want to read some good ones try the ones listed below. This fanfiction is mere trash (but still better than anything I could come up with lol) compared to those:- Harry Potter and the ringmaker (Webnovel)- Harry Potter and the rise of the protector (webnovel)- HP a magical journey (completed) (webnovel)-Voleur D'âme (fanfiction)-Odyssey of a mage part I, part II and part III (fanfiction)-Heart and Soul (fanfiction)-Harry Potter and the rune stone path (fanfiction)-Phoenix from the ashes (fanfiction)

LV 4

multiverses_sage

[img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=update][img=coins][img=fp][img=exp][img=recommend][img=exp][img=coins][img=update][img=faceslap][img=update][img=exp]you have read it please 🥺🥺🥺

LV 1

DaoistxwtRUR

another stupid, illogical work written by a teenager who does not understand anything in life. in one chapter, Harry himself provokes Dumbledore, then immediately retreats for the reason that he cannot yet compare with him; in the next chapter, he easily influences Dumbledore’s psyche and essentially controls him like a puppet. the main character supposedly lived 999 lives, this is his 1000th rebirth, but at the same time he behaves like a juvenile coward with an inferiority complex who has seized power.

LV 1

DarkAbyss1000

good story so far nothing like the beta males i find in the HP fanfic's so far i just hope the author keeps the story going and reg updates and does not drop for the haters. IF YOU DONT LIKE THE STORY DONT READ THEN

LV 12

Roxanna87

este livro e muito bom recomendo a todos

LV 1

AJ_C

cliché , i am even embarrassed to read it, he is telling the whole future to everyone. and, inviting everyone to see this tribution!!!! its so embarrassing.

LV 5

LittleRedsWolf

As of writing this, I've read to chapter 75. The fic is middling at best. It reads like a chinese wuxia novel, but without the reoccurring insurmountable enemies.The Grammer is decent, with few misspellings or wrong words used. I only saw one chapter with repeatedly mushed together words, like some was typing on their phone and forgot the space bar.The character is supposed to have lived 999 lives, he doesn't act like it. He spills his secrets at the drop of a hat and shares his abilities with anyone that seems to have any interest in being part of his click. The story is written like, and then I did this, and I have this system that gives me the best results and I'm better than everyone at everything I do, and my magic aura makes people like me and they have no defense to it. There is no struggle. It's like driving down a straight wide highway, boring.

LV 10

Readtilltheybleed

This story shines a new bleak light into the beloved story of Harry Potter. After reincarnation the mc finds himself in a more realistic and cynical world than the one depicted in the movies and we see the dark underbelly hidden beneath the wonders of the magical world. The way the story is presented, it’s hard to deny that there must have been some sinister hand in place that was secretly guiding many unfortunate events. I won’t say I particularly like seeing this dystopian version of the tale as it feels like I’m becoming disillusioned… however, I do like seeing stories from different perspectives and this story certainly manages to do this. I would also like to point out that the protagonist has a ridiculously overpowered cheat that is destined to quickly bring him straight to the peak of the world. Unfortunately, I imagine he should out grow any possible retaliation from the world within a year or so. As a result of the main character becoming so powerful the story will either become stunted or the scope of the world will have to expand… or at least that is what I presume will have to happen.

LV 14

Deverosfear

This is a fun story I’m injoying it a lot but I would say each chapter is short and snacky so if you want to scratch your reading itch read it in sperts of multiple chapters.

LV 4

Wopeh

There's no synopsis and from the reviews it's either trash or acceptable. Author can't be bothered to write a synopsis so I can't bother to read the story.