Synopsis
On his way to his son’s school fair, a young father encounters a variety of unusual instances.
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18Reviews
4.8
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You made excellent use of grammar and suspense which really intrigues me. However, I can't make an accurate review on this due to it only having one chapter. Maybe once it has four chapters, then I will return. For now, this is my score.
DO NOT READ THIS AT NIGHT. It’s been a long time I read a horror story as scary as this, and I Read it at 2am. This is almost boring in the beginning and then... the suspense! this is very good author. Congrats.
Did not expect to like the story as much as I do based on the synopsis but the story quickly proved me wrong. 10/10 very well written novel so far. This is my first novel from this author but I cannot wait to see more.
This story is really interesting! The plot seriously caught my eye and when I started to read it, I was shook. This book is amazing! I love the main characters and feel very curious about them! I like the way you describe everything - making it easy to imagine! Keep it up!
An aspiring author! This needs to be read! I gotta say you have potential and talent! Nice work and good luck in the future. Your story was nice and so far so good!
I don’t usually read one-shots like these because I feel like it would start to bore me....but this...oo***eeee This is really good for a one-shot, your vocabulary and writting skills are so smooth and honestly I haven’t read a good horror like this one. Keep it up honestly...hopefully you add more 😌✨
I mainly liked the descriptions. They are very good. i don’t really see what the hitchhiker had to do with the book in the end but i guess it adverted my expectations cause i thought the guy would be evil.
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Now one-shots aren't usually my thing because I like continuous stories and there's not enough space to give it a good end but this one changed my mind. The twists and turns within it is incredible and I didn't see the story changing like that. The vocabulary used is concise but doesn't hinder the pacing.
Okay, nothing to say about the writing or the grammar- it was all impeccable. Many words that I dare not use in my story because I don't quite know their uses were masterfully placed in this story. The highlight for me, though was the way it FELT like a horror story. It was a normal day, drab and gray at first. Then the normal day is interspersed with things that feel a little creepy, but it was no big deal. There are interactions with Elena, but...then it suddenly wasn't Elena. And the dial turned up ten notches on the horror! Suddenly their whole interaction felt terrifying! Ack! Anyway, I really liked this story so far; even with only a single chapter, it was very long and felt like five or six. Also excellently crafted, I don't hesitate to give it a recommend!
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Clear and smooth writing style. Well designed story for a one shot. Chapter length of the story is also good. Not boring and gives you a sense of thrill.
Alright, let me start off by saying that this is an excellently written novel :D First off, the writing itself is flawless. Very smooth, descriptive, and clear. The use of punctuation is also perfect! :D Okay now for the best part. The way the author sets up the mood is impeccable. The author did not only plainly describe the location and such, but the way the author wrote it makes me feel the mood. It was a very immersive read, which is always a great thing, especially for a thriller/horror novel. Not only the mood, but the way the characters were portrayed is also top-notch for me. I like how the author did not focus on the appearance, but rather on small, subtle things that build up the character's traits. Like the way they move when they talk, the way they stutter, the way they react in situations, I love it! :D Sorry for the long review, the point is I really enjoyed reading this hehe! Great work, author! <3
The writing was good—pleasant enough to read with just a few lapses in grammar and a few awkward word choices. The beginning with the hitchhiker and the missing girls provided an interesting opening but I don’t see the value or purpose of these details at the end; literally it was like I was reading a series of events (like the description says) but those events weren’t really dependent on each other and barely connected at the end. Though I felt the story lacking in execution and plot, it has overall an intiguing premise.
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A loud applause for the novel! This is one of the best on shots in my experience and will be a treasure for me! A hidden gem inside the hay stack. With more views, this will become popular! Good job!
This is a nice, creepy, little story about a guy who goes into what may be a haunted house and gets scared. There isn't a whole lot to it, from a plot standpoint, but the character is stringly-developed and the author brings you into the story, putting you in his character's shoes and letting you feel his fear.
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Oneshots as these are often too short to really get invested in but this one is worth giving a try. Very descriptive and smooth. Keep it up.
Awesome. It is just like the other review says, this story can and will give you chills. For one shot this is really well written. I give this solid 5*