/ Fantasy / War-torn: The reborn
Synopsis
Join Ezequiel keeper in a war-torn world where magic returns and beast of old walk the earth. follow him into the depths of an epic tale of tragedy, love and magic.
The journey begins a Ezequiel keeper wakes up in his new body, hundreds of years in the future after dying in ruins of the old world.
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40Reviews
4.79
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REVIEW Narration: Decent and immersive Worldbuilding: Vast and detailed Character development: Nice and steady Character design: Outstanding Dialogues: Realistic and Lifelike Pacing: Not fast nor too slow Writing quality: Magnificent Execution of the Genre: Good pitch Story potential: High Updating Stability: Steady MESSAGE Now, this is a novel with eye-catching scenarios. Making me have goosebumps as I read. Splendid executing the novel, not all can do it! Kudos! ADVICE Continue writing and improve more! That's all!
The only thing that I have observed is, there were no periods in some sentences. Make use of it so it will be smoother to read. I recommend you to read published novels of american authors and compare it with yours. You can also use grammarly to finish your work before publishing. You have done a great job of making a wonderful novel and it deserves more attention! I hope yours will become popular in the future. BTW please also review mine called "Waking Up In Undead World" and happy reviewing!
Hello!!! All of us makes mistakes sometimes, It's a really common thing for us writers, hehe. So get a help from a friend or use Grammarly👌👌👌. I think your story is cool, and kind of cyberpunk, not really cyberpunk but It gives the vibe of that, hehe. In a world where humans are extinct, the main character needs to fight a dark world, pretty cool actually. The world was established pretty nicely and in a descriptive way. This is a nice book you've got, keep up writing
Novels that have after apocalypse settings are so far in between, so I very much appreciate the environment that this story is in. Ezequiel is a sturdy character who strives to be stronger in a world that will soon be at war. It's good that he already sorted out his goal from the start. I would like for him to have more unique propensities, I guess? In that way, he'll stand out from the others, unless your putting him as an average character. Also, I was confused at first, since it was stated in the first sentence that he was one of the only survivors. Hence, I surmised that the number of survivors were minuscule. It shocked me when there's suddenly a bartender. It's alright to have surprises! Anyway, what I want to suggest is the editing of paragraphs? They kind of look so condensed that it is quite difficult to read. Also, grammar mistakes are common for us writers. Thus, we always have to polish that skill. Grammar mistakes can be easily proofread. It will give your story better transitions if you worded properly and put punctuations where they should be. This comment is merely to constructively criticize, not to throw spite at you. I'm sorry if it came off as such. You have a great story here! Please keep on writing because the proceedings are something to look forward to! I am vouching for the growth of Ezequiel Keeper as he adventures to acquire the holy-grail! I will be cheering you on and follow your story because of how interesting it is!
First and foremost, I would like to commend the author for writing this novel! Not many people have the courage to do what you did so here is my congratulations for you! 🎉 The author has a story to tell, that much I can say. Ezekiel Keeper, the MC, would be in for an interesting journey! Being one of the only survivors of the human extinction, how would he accomplish his quest to fix this corrupt dark world if he was just a merely e-rank war-torn? There are a lot of things to look forward to in this novel! I hope to see more of it in the future! Nice work, author! Keep up the good work! You might also want to look at similar stories to get a glim**e on how other authors write their masterpieces. 😊 There's always a room for improvement! Overall, you have a great story! Continue writing and there will be people coming to read this beautiful story as well!
Before I praise this amazing novel, I'd like the author to consider my suggestion of adding some changes in the synopsis and add some more details in it just to make the story behind the clouds as well as a bit open too. As a reader, I like reading a concise outline of the story before reading a novel, just to save my time from reading something I wouldn't enjoy after. It's not that all of the readers consider that but I do. Secondly, the grammatical errors can be perfected with a little effort and I am sure the author will do best in correcting those in the further chapters. As for me, I don't put writing errors in consideration while writing a review if the story is worthy enough. Thirdly and finally, the background, the world building, the unique war-torn touch is just wonderful and I loved every bit of the word I have read so far.
Hello, so over in webnovel forum you wrote wanting a review to mention what you could improve. I'll first praise you for the setting of the story. It's really interesting and the vocations in the prologue really fit in. It gives a sort of sci-fi opera vibe. As for what you can correct: 1. - Within the first 10 chapters I've noticed a lot of interchanging tense, especially past tense and present tense. 2.- There's also the narration which seems from the author's perspective. This isn't bad, but most people I've seen write in 3rd person not 1st person. However, this isn't bad just something I noticed. 3. - There's also the pacing which seems a bit fast. Character's don't have time to breathe and there's little dialogue per chapter. But again fast paced novels aren't bad especially in they are action novels. 4. - Finally, this isn't about the story itself but the manner in which people read webnovels: most people read them on mobile phone. So if your story has large paragraphs, it will be fine reading on the computer but on a mobile screen, the paragraph will look like an entire page. So you could split up the paragraphs and limit them to 4, 5 or 6 lines per paragraph. However, these aren't big issues so keep up the work and effort. Congratulations on your work.
The biggest issue is your sentence structure and lack of punctuation here and there but other than that this is really a good story that wastes no time getting into the meat of things.
the story is very great with interesting characters and great world building. I would suggest you to use grammarly. Waiting for more chapters
It was a decent read, but at the end it's still enjoyable. I can highly recommend this I some of my friends and I know that they'll enjoy it.
There is an interesting idea in here. I like the concept of the war-born and the liberty jewels and so forth. Post-apocalyptic stories are chances to remake the world, and it feels like that's what the author is trying to do, but the writing is not up to the quality of the concept. With more time and a proofreader, however, this could be a very exciting story.
I think your story has great potential, it need's some editing here and their. please continue updating this story :) I'm looking forward to it 😊
I like the idea, I felt like the beginning of the story was a bit confusing, like the whole War-Torn idea, but I think it was because of the way how it was written. Besides that though, this story is very interesting. Keep up the good work.
The story is well written and in first person which adds a lot of drama and emotion to the narrative. The criticism I can throw are the long paragraphs that could be broken up a bit.
We got a good story here with a great concept but in a apocaliptic setting! I got to say the first chapter is more than enough to grab someones attention! Even if there are some mistakes (not a problem for me and can be fixed with ease) i really enjoyed this story, keep going, Author!
Honestly speaking I love how the author precisely set the date and year... The way author explained about war-torns shows how clear she is about the plot.. My only suggestion is break your long paragraphs into small so that it will attract readers
Such an astounding novel with an interesting plot. I'm not good in grammar therefore I have no right to judge yours too. The characters are well-described to the point I could portray what the author wants me to portray. Writing Quality of the author is good, since I have not seen any misspelled terms or vocabularies. Stability of updates, that's an automatic five for me! Keep up the good work author and keep on writing! I recommend this book to all readers who are a fan of fiction and a pinch of Science. Just a itsy bitsy pinch.
I saw while reading you are novice writer just like me and we have lot in common. You first person style is similar to mine and type and tone of story is also very similar. Overall- Its great. But the one thing that i notice was that cliché dialog by the grandmother but that not big problum. Just keep it up and soon you will be pro in this 👍😀.
Amazing story excellent description the author is professional in the writing way. His dao is the day of literature he have crossed the sea of nirvana and obtained widow nice need more
I am going to be honest here..... 1. Writing quality is not upto the mark....it has some grammatical mistakes and no spaces in between sentence, which makes it bland to read. There are some minor mistakes here and there like, With a cheap technique every war-torn has installed eat the shard and absorb.....eat should be replaced. Narattive is something that I am not used to because, it is just a first person narrative, maybe author could try writing in a way that make the story real. for example:" I saw a vast expanse cold snow every where, I was surrounded by snow and was shivering." to.... A vast expanse of snow appeared in his sight...he noticed that he was shivering because of the snow around him etcetc. You don't just have to use a first person narrative but could actually use any form of narrative depending on the situation to make it more interesting. 2. Story is good though...it has potential, not much to say about it. 3. Character design is good but can be improved, by giving other side characters a personality and their own perspective on how they react to things, like describing their inner thoughts and back stories etcetc. 4. Updating stability is also a problem, but since creation is hard, it takes time to make a chapter......so I can understand. 5. World background is interesting also interesting. Give this story a try if you are interested... As for the author, pls don't feel offended by my review, it is my honest opinion of your work. You can try using Google docs for the grammar and sentence structures, your novel will improve...