I like your writing but just compress the paragraphs the character design is fine and story development and stability of plot is also nice. keep writing ^^ x
To be honest, I wasn't expecting much from 3 chapters. But are you actually a professional writer?!? It's so cool and interesting! Can't spoilerino here though :)
One cute thing is, I read "girl in a tank" and it took 6 paragraphs to realise it's a water tank, not a military rank!!!! -_-
MishalZamir