14Reviews
4.17
- Writing Quality
- Stability of Updates
- Story Development
- Character Design
- World Background
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LV 3 ![Badge]()
malik_kuan
Terrible fanfic.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
LV 3 ![Badge]()
Ancient0
let's give the power stone so that the writer is more enthusiastic to write his story and sorry google translate
let's give the power stone so that the writer is more enthusiastic to write his story and sorry google translate
let's give the power stone so that the writer is more enthusiastic to write his story and sorry google translate
let's give the power stone so that the writer is more enthusiastic to write his story and sorry google translate
let's give the power stone so that the writer is more enthusiastic to write his story and sorry google translate
let's give the power stone so that the writer is more enthusiastic to write his story and sorry google translate
LV 3 ![Badge]()
Ancient0
let's give the power stone so that the writer is more enthusiastic to write his story and sorry google translate
let's give the power stone so that the writer is more enthusiastic to write his story and sorry google translate
let's give the power stone so that the writer is more enthusiastic to write his story and sorry google translate
let's give the power stone so that the writer is more enthusiastic to write his story and sorry google translate
let's give the power stone so that the writer is more enthusiastic to write his story and sorry google translate
let's give the power stone so that the writer is more enthusiastic to write his story and sorry google translate
LV 12 ![Badge]()
Dr_Chad
Are you a new writer?? Or an experienced one. If you're new then maybe you can adhere to my ramblings.. This are the ff.
1. The MC personality is bland, make sure you have a proper lista of his certain characterstics whether if you want him to be eccentric, cold blooded, happy go lucky and etc. He just killed peoplr out of nowhere and did'nt even state his goals. Build proper character build up for other as well. Lists all the things you want them to turn into.
2. Some words are a mess, what the heck his "Counter Admiral", before posting the chapters, can you double check it to avoid errors. 3rd PoV's need to be worked also, some thoughts didnt match with each other.
3. Give proper information in your system. It was not porperly discussed at all. The techniques you made didn't even make sense, is a training a technique that needed for the system to recognized? Nope it is not, it is just a process in which people will do repititive tasks to enhance their body. Add skills also to the MC, don't give broad skills and be specific about it.
Lastly the most important one, since you gave him instant mastery, why the hell he needed training for??? He can just use his knowledge in the anime to do the techniques step by step. Like physical exercise, do the running (insantly mastered it), do push ups( instamt mastered it),
do meditation (instant mastered it), Do blindfold and evade projectiles( awakened his perception (intant mastered it) and evolved it to (Observation Haki)..
You made your fanfic and its core is Instant Mastery, which means the MC can basically master everything instantly.
Please be reminded, maybe you can create (Power rankings in your story whether if it is techniques, skills, marine levels, pirate levels)
Such as
Low tier, Mid tier, High Tier and etc. in order for your story to be fascinating and be executed well..
LV 5 ![Badge]()
NotEyptiandio
The story is iffy and the grammar is understandable but some sentences a bit off.
LV 4 ![Badge]()
YoungDaddy_
the story is very good, but the MC is too hasty to sail. I have been given a very OP system in my opinion but at least the MC practiced in advance for a few months to add skills he remembered from a previous life and strengthen the foundation of his bodyππππππππππ
LV 5 ![Badge]()
VinZa
interesting. interesting. interesting. interesting. interesting. interesting. interesting. interesting.
interesting. interesting. interesting. interesting. interesting. interesting. interesting. interesting.
interesting. interesting. interesting. interesting. interesting. interesting. interesting. interesting.
Reveal Spoiler 
LV 11 ![Badge]()
nasnasnas
Good,β₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈππβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈ
LV 10 ![Badge]()
Qwestar
I like the story as of now, it does have some issues with grammar and using words in the wrong places, my only gripe, however small to me is that he didnβt stay on the island he was at with his old cabin to train some more, he said they had plenty boats, etc, meaning that there will for the most part always be a boat to steal, why not capitalize and train? He could try to craft and get that to mastery with his system, try blacksmithing, it would also help with building physical strength and he could make himself his own sword, I just didnβt see why he could not have stayed and capitalize, maybe cause heβs a ****? Anyway, I will continue to read, and give updates, but as of now, itβs a pretty decent read.
As far as story development? Itβs one piece...
Character development? So far meh
World? Same thing...itβs a fanfic of cannon
Reveal Spoiler 
LV 2 ![Badge]()
Ali_Makles
ππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππ
LV 5 ![Badge]()
Bofa99
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
LV 13 ![Badge]()
ice_devil_slayer87
Excellent more please
This roman is awesome i Hope Reading more chapter !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+++++++++++++++++-++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
PUJIT_FADTE_9415