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Randominity: Clearly written by someone who has a superficial grasp of the source material. People say fanfic is easy, but it's not when you're dealing with a world as richly layered and well-documented as Planetos!
The writing quality is that of a bootleg half-MTL translated JP novel, with stilted dialogue and a severe need to run a grammar/syntax check on it all. Punctuation flits freely outside the bounds of quotation marks, malapropisms gambol through the fields of words, and there's just little care for word-smithing put into the work. You might be okay pulling that stuff with Random Anime Fanfic #187309, but not when you're groping around in ASOIAF. There's a standard to strive for here.
There's an insultingly minuscule amount of attention to detail going on here, from the big picture down to the small touches. There is no "sir" in Westeros, only "ser" for knights. The names used are jarringly not from the setting and look like Random Syosetsu Anglicizations. Westeros has history, culture, and conventions, but the author chooses merely to use it as a Potemkin backdrop for their murderhobo to use their system, and that's a damn shame.
As a Syosetsu isekai with a system knockoff it's tolerable. As a fanfiction using the ASOIAF setting it's unbearable. Just change the few names you've used and rename the work to something original, because you're already just making it all up anyway at this point. Don't use a world as detailed as Planetos unless and until you're willing to put in the research and apply it. There's no excuse for it, given the rich trove of canonical content that covers all of this.Game Of Thrones: Fireborn Overlord
Soulcrystal: Well written criticism. At least someone is able to put out such texts. I acknowledge your concerns.
One thing I don't agree to is the name you give Earth. "Planetos" - That is fan bias and not official. The people in the known lands speak the common tongue and other obscure languages. And Earth would nonetheless still be Earth in another language. To support this fact it is even mentioned as Earth in the books.
Sure, we can go all around GRRM´s naming sense and call it Earthos but Planetos surely sounds more like a planet than the earth itself. We live on a planet but we call it Earth.Game Of Thrones: Fireborn Overlord
Game Of Thrones: Fireborn Overlord
Sazzbot: A review is there to give critic, harsh or soft, good or bad. The creator of a product, in this case, an author, can either read and move on or learn something, no need to learn all ofcurse. I am not here to a**lick someone with 5 stars. Like so many does. An author will either improve or stay mediocre like all the other generic writers in an ocean of authors from north america to china in pacific sea region.Reborn: Evolving From Nothing
PotatoWithWings: The content has been blockedReborn: Evolving From Nothing
Robarto: I actually agree eith your review. A single paragraph doesn't summarise the novel in its entirety and it might subject to change. What killed this novel is the author's attitude. Childish for a person who signed an actual contract with a company. Furthermore, the attitude of the fanbase is also mind boggling. Say one thing and they will bash your head in. This website will only attract teenagers on puberty, and it won't stop growing anytime soon. The translated novel from CN and KRN will always superior compared to the west as these genres are their specialty.Reborn: Evolving From Nothing
Sychtchcesses: A blind childish author who think he own the world by getting a five star ratings and a lowlife jealous (bitchy xgirlfriend) attention seeking whore as a reviewer, a retarded fans and random people who like to add oil all together already made the comment section more interesting than the story itself that i have to sacrifice the story and read the comment instead. Thank you all. It was fun hereReborn: Evolving From Nothing
FluffyPandas: :shrug: Don't forget the random people who like to insult others for no reason.Reborn: Evolving From Nothing
FullFatSoya: Awesome! I always find the comments and review section interesting than the novels itself. *grabs popcorn*Reborn: Evolving From Nothing
Leymax: The 5 stars review here is crazy, I understand nothing about the novel from the review (it is just "didlsjsoslslsoskskd, good 5 stars), I thought wtf, but now I see, most are just bots. Thanks for the heads up.Reborn: Evolving From Nothing
WillFukYoMudda: Pretty much sums it up, comment section is far more interesting than the novels usually.Reborn: Evolving From Nothing
FluffyPandas: Please, I'm not targeting you in particular in several of my statements.
True, reading is subjective, but I just believed that new readers have the right to see where other people found faults instead of simply reading reviews that contained people gushing over how amazing you are.
And yes, I did read beyond to the first chapter. My reading status simply says c1 because I scrolled back to that chapter to copy and paste the paragraph I mentioned in my review.
And yes, if you look you will find at least 4 or 5 reviews that mention your quality going down after a few chapters. If 4 or 5 doesn't count as many, then good for you. I have no comment.
Obviously your writing should improve as you write more. I would be quite concerned if your writing's quality dropped as you write more, especially since later on you mention that you don't have an editor. Thus, all of your chapters shouldn't have gone through editing, so if the later chapters are worse, I have no choice but to assume that you put less effort into them. I will be honest, I only read until chapter 10 or so, and I base many of my statements off of the several people who claim that your writing quality deteriorates later on. So?
Also, your ego must be quite big to assume that your grammar is among the best of the stories written here. Furthermore, you even say that it's not really debatable.
I'm being 100% honest in this review. All of my statements are either based off of my own experience while reading your novel, the claims of many other people who have read it (not necessarily posting a bad review), or the standard of this site in general (there are very few statements based off of this, but I do admit, there are some).
Wiz, you know what your attitude is like. You don't have to play dumb. Everyone knows.
So you claim that WN hasn't promoted your story at all? That it hasn't boosted your numbers at all? That none of your readers or collections have been bots or simply inflated numbers? Because I have the testimony of many authors on WN that have experienced that. Besides, it isn't a big deal to reach number one. A while ago, a random fanfic that was an amalgamation of dragon ball z (I believe it was this franchise, it may have been another popular one) and a system was number 2. I imagine that it wouldn't be difficult to reach number one as long as something similar to that updated relatively quickly.
Again, I do admit that some statements are based of WN in general. There are many rumors of how certain novels have been boosted and such, and I know for a fact that WN removes bad reviews on the translated novels. I haven't paid much attention to contracted originals, so I have no idea if the same is true for those.
The part where I mentioned editors? I assume you do proofread your work after you right it, thus you are technically an editor for your own work, no? While others want the opinion of editors and pay for them.Reborn: Evolving From Nothing
FluffyPandas: Wiz, I appreciate you typing out such a long rant in an attempt to argue with my review. However, you shouldn't just call everyone whose opinion doesn't completely agree with yours a disingenuous troll who spread lies. That just ruins your own credibility.
Don't try to argue that WN doesn't delete bad reviews on their novels. I have friends that have posted a 'bad' or 'troll' review (aka a review that's not 5* that's gushing over how the author and the story are sooooo brilliant), and several hours later, their reviews were deleted because it brought down the rating of WNs novels.
You might not have requested it, but they may take the initiative to delete it themselves. You never know.Reborn: Evolving From Nothing
FluffyPandas: *shrug* It's true that the large majority of novels on this site are very... let's say subpar. Again, I didn't say that his writing is bad, it's just worse than what I expected :). Also, yes, I'm picking at small mistakes and I dislike his style, but so what? Every author should expect that they will receive some criticism. You shouldn't take the novels at webnovel as the standard either :). Not hating on people for who English isn't their first language, but a large majority of novels here are written by people for whom English is their second, or third or fourth etc, language, and most of them are just writing for fun without much thought. And others just hope that they can get lucky and somehow people will notice their novel. In short, the standard on Webnovel isn't very good, especially since Webnovel doesn't employ any kind of quality check.
Also a side comment, I didn't force you to reread 80 chapters. You can either believe that what I say is the truth - although I admit it isn't without bias - or if I'm just spouting nonsense because I'm a "disingenuous troll that likes to spread lies". Feel free to believe what you want.
I'm not asking for the support of every single person who reads my review; in fact I wasn't expecting anyone to ever read or like this.
Also, it seems like you mentioned that he has an editor? Interesting, interesting.
[Don't read too much into my comment if you're too lazy too.]
Every author probably has someone who enjoys their writing. I can respect that you like Wiz's writing.
You can reply back if you want; I'm not expecting you to.
Enjoy your day.Reborn: Evolving From Nothing
FluffyPandas: Sorry, rereading what I wrote, I agree, I was too harsh on him. You do have a valid point, and I appreciate you pointing out where I was wrong.
Reflecting on my review, I realized that I was so harsh on him in part because of the quantity of reviews that go something like, "Wahhhhh this novel is soooo amazing!!!!!!! a masterpiece!!!" etc, so I expected better (... this tends to happen in most books people recommend me because my expectations are raised so high when people tell me a book is really really really good, then the story is only average or slightly better than average *shrug*), and my expectations were disappointed.
Also, I have to repeat myself here. The author's personality is so f*cking sh*t. Not even mentioning that he can't handle the slightest bit of criticism, he goes on to target whoever criticizes him with his words, possibly turning some of his diehard fans against said person. I can provide proof of this if you need it, but I don't want to reveal such things here.Reborn: Evolving From Nothing
FluffyPandas: Sure, it's a waste of time. So?
Have you seen about.. 99% of the reviews on Webnovel? All of them are either bashing the novel (many of them without any basis) or praising the novel like it's the next... I don't know, masterpiece of the century?
And obviously there are *plenty* of readers who like his story. Indeed, it's above average for Webnovel's standard. But it's not much compared to others.
And I'm not arguing with the author. I'm just stating my honest opinion for anyone who wants to read it. Maybe they can avoid wasting their time on a novel that isn't as brilliant as everyone claims it is. Again, I wasn't expecting anyone to read my review, much less reply.
I don't mind criticism of my novel. It doesn't even have to be constructive. If you hate my word choice and/or style, or my writing in general, I don't mind. I won't keep on targeting you afterward. At most I'll quietly nurse a grudge in my heart if you were being exceptionally unreasonable.
Either way, if you enjoy his novel, good for you. I don't enjoy it, but others do.
(Side note: Don't waste your time hating on me. We're all entitled to our own opinions; you think that if a reader doesn't like the author, they should just go and leave, while I believe that I should voice my opinions.)Reborn: Evolving From Nothing
FluffyPandas: Good for you. I wasn't attacking you, so don't take such an aggressive stance toward me. *shrug*
Or are you Wiz's diehard fan? If yes, oh well. I can't expect to reason with you.
If you haven't read any chapters, remind me why you're ranting against me again?
I'm not saying his story is bad, it's just not as good as his brainless fans trump it up to be. In short, my expectations were raised, but they fell faster than you can blink.
I'm not looking for perfect grammar, in fact I'm fine with anything that's readable.
You know why I wrote this review? It's just to inform potential readers about the reality of this novel. It's not perfect. It's not amazing. It's just average.
Maybe it's just me, but the more I hear people praising a novel, the higher my expectations get. And none of them meet my expectations, especially not ones with 300-400 reviews praising the novel like it's the new masterpiece that everyone will love.Reborn: Evolving From Nothing
FluffyPandas: Mhmm, you have a good point.
We cannot just criticize a novel based on the site it's being hosted on or any other factors that aren't related to the novel.
I agree, i have applied some generalizations to this novel based on other noveks in webnovel, it's mainly because this novel is a contracted novel and Webnovels poster novel, so to speak. I assumed that since this novel was so important, webnovel must have helped it on some way, whether the author wants it or not, even if it's just for the sake of itself.
Either way, this has never stopped anyone. *shrug*Reborn: Evolving From Nothing
FluffyPandas: In the end, I will repeat this.
His novel isn't bad, on the contrary it is decent. Average.
But it doesn't deserve the blind admiration it gets, nor the spam adoration of his fans.
I felt the need to one, point out the mistakes in his first paragraph that most irked me, and two, give his potential readers the reality of his novel.
I don't want them to go in expecting the next, oh i dont know, Shakespeare. They don't deserve to be deceived by the 400 or so fans of this novel.
On every novel, there is bound to be negative reviews. Even if i have to play the devil, i will inform every potential reader of my opinion of this novel, because that is what a review is for, correct?
For other readers to see people's opinions of the novel.Reborn: Evolving From Nothing
Baewha_Main: Oh! Look! The first chapter is already here and not only is it premium but the "kind" author has taken the initiative to milk it for all its worth by adding nonsensical word count padding for characters that have never been mentioned before and don't actually exist in the story. BUT FEAR NOT MY BROTHERS, you can find the ACTUAL story plot by skipping ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE LAST 5 SENTENCES.Reborn: Evolving From Nothing · C85
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