Bernd135

8mth

Commented

Found it to be a good book start. The system is nice and how the rules loopholes are used or the not to be known rules. The only thing I nit pick is that he gains the knowledge of the a book by reading the first page as normaly one should not extrapolate all knowledge from it I think. But even if he reads the hole book it would only take up time or until he gets a way to quickly read a hole book so not that important to nit pick.

ch 11 11. Fleecing (ii)

Bernd135

1yr

Replied to JmJgJh

Ahh thanks I knew he was adopted and the love potion but that Lupin helped I forgot.

Soisen's idea was brilliant and simultaneously simple. He still had to alter the potion, but what he had to do was to find a completely different effect. He had to deliver the potion long enough for a certain substance to be generated in the werewolf's body, neither too strong nor too mild, so that when Lupin left, the components that had been accumulated and suppressed by the potion would burst all at once without warning or symptoms and he would die without time to react or call for help.

The Fifth House: Galegold

Book&Literature · Cadenadeaventuras

Bernd135

1yr

Commented

Why would he try to kill Lupin? Just to please Snape? I mean finding a cure for Lycanthropy would be more plausible for his character or did I forget a encounter in story?

Soisen's idea was brilliant and simultaneously simple. He still had to alter the potion, but what he had to do was to find a completely different effect. He had to deliver the potion long enough for a certain substance to be generated in the werewolf's body, neither too strong nor too mild, so that when Lupin left, the components that had been accumulated and suppressed by the potion would burst all at once without warning or symptoms and he would die without time to react or call for help.

The Fifth House: Galegold

Book&Literature · Cadenadeaventuras

Bernd135

1yr

Commented

A very good written prolog. Now question would be what the Wizarding world is going to be for him. And his introduction to it especially his reaction to the dirty leaky cauldron and Gringotts of how it's going to function. Then the last point would be what type of Dumbledore is going to be and what the Pendragon legacy is going to play in the story. Well Dumbledore is in after thought not important as a OC with no HP knowledge but he could be skeptical with him based on what he is going to read from the books he is going to buy.

ch 0 1 Chapter 1: Alan White

The Pendragon Legacy : Harry Potter

Book&Literature · Unbridled_Maddness

Bernd135

1yr

Commented

The Only thing that was unfinished I think is that you do not get to know where the Harry doppelganger came from as it is no longer Ron.

ch 62 HP Rewrite

Multiversal Library

Anime & Comics · ExoticSenta

Bernd135

1yr

Commented

Potter? It should be Greengrass or Abraxus. Otherwise a Good story and chapter.

This paragraph has been deleted.

Heir of Abraxus - A Harry Potter Fanfiction

Book&Literature · LesendeTaube

Bernd135

1yr

Commented

Now the NSA is getting involved this makes it instresting as he maybe quick enough that they do not get any information anymore that is useful or he gets kidnapped as the Bugzapper can be used to get control of anything that is not 100% secure. And if one think about it what about Hackers do they in the future need to get a social engineering degree to Hack something? If the AI Tech is as good as that of the last version of the book even that attack vector would be gone.

ch 12 A problem at the NSA & A deep slumber

Getting a Technology System in Modern Day

Sci-fi · Agent_047

Bernd135

1yr

Commented

Good to see him taking revenge and not just easy making money without anyone trying to make trouble. I mean in the first version he build a Monopol on weakness finding and got no troubles for it and that was even without the professor making trouble.

ch 0 5 Testing & Finding out

Getting a Technology System in Modern Day

Sci-fi · Agent_047

Bernd135

1yr

Commented

If the quality of this chapter is going to be standard the rewrite is worth it as the author in a comment already said it was a summary tone in how it was written. Based on his anger brought by the plagiarism I would have thought he made a Programm for plagiarism and put all of the university thesis in it and publish the most likely result that there are a lot of it?

ch 0 1 Where it all began

Getting a Technology System in Modern Day

Sci-fi · Agent_047

Bernd135

1yr

Commented

1 It OK and can be a new way how a spiderman fic was written as most times Peter is just a genius, hero and never a sports star. In addition, he could get a better scholarship for university with it and his grades or is that different.

Comment/Emote/GIF here if you want to keep the Fic going as is, 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴.

Badass Peter Parker

Anime & Comics · UdayWrites

Bernd135

2yr

Commented

1

This chapter has been deleted.

[DISCONTINUED] HP: A Bolt from the Blue

Book&Literature · Ashtar29

Bernd135

2yr

Commented

1

This chapter has been deleted.

Tower of God: Opening the Door to the Birth of the Age of Chaos

Anime & Comics · Sage_Zharatos

Bernd135

2yr

Replied to Ozonelayer

I can only Agree things need Requirements or a Cost and these things are not Flaws but the foundation why something can be done. Otherwise it's like Multiplication has the Flaw that you need to know Addition or something similar kind of relationship. True Flaws would be inefficiency, backslash or limits that can be removed or so.