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Researching it;
- 'Kneazle' cats are pretty close to what I'm look for, except from them being too aggressive and arrogant, I don't know why the aren't in more use. Crookshanks, who is part kneazle would be great research material for a better cat. Perhaps give it magic sight(cat with cute little horns!) and maybe slight oclumancy of a 'wampus' cat.
- A camera and video function for the 'Magical phones' would probably be easy enough if he looked at some 'omnioculars'.
-The ministry could probably make issues with harry by 'Misuse of muggle artifacts'(Arthur's office), though clothes and luggage is being used for their intended purposes. These enchanted objects might easily get in the hands of muggles. That and his sharing of information with muggle parents could be shown as risking the 'Statute of wizarding secrecy'.
- His sharing of information(especially if he opens some sort of school, like in my other suggestion) with squibs and muggles might result in some of them passing the WOMBAT exam. View More

AdamNics: I really enjoyed this. It is very much focused on magic research and changing/modernising magical society.
The "romantic" relationships have been annoying but getting better. The MC EQ seems to be getting better and he is changing the people around him to react to him better.
There are some spelling mistakes and places where sections of writing are repeated in slightly different ways.
I'm looking forward to seeing the sirius situation handled, how the magic phone network developers and how he effects the school directly.

New Dawn- A Harry Potter Transmigration Fanfic
4 days ago
Really filch's cat is almost like a sentry cat already, she reports on students to filch all the time and almost catches people underneath the invisibility cloak(I think).
Talking about filch, who is a squib. Maybe he should look into them(how that happens), hire them or maybe sponsor them into apprenticeships in the muggle world, which he can then use in the magical world. View More

AdamNics: I really enjoyed this. It is very much focused on magic research and changing/modernising magical society.
The "romantic" relationships have been annoying but getting better. The MC EQ seems to be getting better and he is changing the people around him to react to him better.
There are some spelling mistakes and places where sections of writing are repeated in slightly different ways.
I'm looking forward to seeing the sirius situation handled, how the magic phone network developers and how he effects the school directly.

New Dawn- A Harry Potter Transmigration Fanfic
5 days ago
So you've dropped, I'm going to continue.
Would you like me to tell you if a certain thing happens or doesn't happen? as the case may be View More

guilhermecoimbra: Well, I actually dropped the story a little after of the review.

The reason is that the author' current focus is to play the emotional card with the pairings - first Hermione, now Ginny - to gather audience and it works. It's a disappointment for people who like HP for what it is and not some cheap "CEO" drama.

New Dawn- A Harry Potter Transmigration Fanfic
5 days ago
Yeah, I would dislike it if a relationship with ginny happened, I'm hoping the author is including it to show an unhealthy idolisation. Ginny is a boring character, we've been there done that. However I think it would have been weird if her feelings weren't mentioned but the fact we get her POV is worrying. I'm hoping it's more about using a perspective we understand rather than a stranger, like the malfoy's POV. View More

guilhermecoimbra: Well, I actually dropped the story a little after of the review.

The reason is that the author' current focus is to play the emotional card with the pairings - first Hermione, now Ginny - to gather audience and it works. It's a disappointment for people who like HP for what it is and not some cheap "CEO" drama.

New Dawn- A Harry Potter Transmigration Fanfic
5 days ago
SPOILER
There are a few things that I would like to see more developed or explained, like;
-For the MP Pros, the 'memory extraction spell' seems rare and annoying/painful(a memory that you lose gets dug out of your head), a 'memory copy spell' or device(if it isn't already in the phone) needs to be made/found.
-Should add a camera, weather, emergency services calls and be able to send stuff to a shared family/group/organisation hard drive that might also work like a forum, wardstone, security/surveillance system and spy camera.
-The sorting hat is really crap, it's mange looking, has an attitude and doesn't sort well. It need to be replaced or fixed; house sorting should be decided of three things, personality aspects, relationships and slightly what you want. This should be found out by oclumancy, questions and a set of trials(like a dream/memory). The minimum time would go up but that instant stuff is bull****.
-The slytherin and hufflepuff dormitories are really bad. One is underground(though the lake window is cool), the other is next to the "servants" (house elves).
-Speaking of house elves, what is filch's job? His jobs should be done by the house elves or some competent professionals. Can't leave patrolling the halls for house elves though, maybe make 'sentry cats' (really cute, suits the image and mcgonagall can hide among them) ; able to see/smell through polyjuice potions, invisibility, others and eat pests(rats, spiders, etc)
-As the school lacks teachers; it might be an idea to ask the wizarding community for memories of lessons. Those can be processed and used at the school or by making online lessons or a night/revision school. Can also do online tests.
Could also get people like the trunk guy or olivander to donate and store teaching material. View More

AdamNics: I really enjoyed this. It is very much focused on magic research and changing/modernising magical society.
The "romantic" relationships have been annoying but getting better. The MC EQ seems to be getting better and he is changing the people around him to react to him better.
There are some spelling mistakes and places where sections of writing are repeated in slightly different ways.
I'm looking forward to seeing the sirius situation handled, how the magic phone network developers and how he effects the school directly.

New Dawn- A Harry Potter Transmigration Fanfic
5 days ago
Actually it does mention she makes an unbreakable vow not to reveal his secrets, I think. View More

Chibi_Senpai: Honestly I still really don’t know what I expected from this novel and what kind of mc the author truly wanted to create. Maybe he’s just trying to please the readers and I truly wish the best but I can finally see this novel is really not for me.
I don’t even remember what made me pick up this novel but I thought it’d be a dark/cold/pragmatic Harry novel. I honestly liked the beginning but things kind of took a downward turn when Hermione was introduced. I still remember the moment something popped up in the back of my mind that I wasn’t going to be able to binge read a hundred chapters. It was when Harry hugged Hermione and got addicted to the warmth. From them I knew it was a wrap and the cool headed stable logical mc was in danger.
Despite the fact that he’d known her less than a year and she was 11 years old, the mc proceeded to get dangerously attached to Hermione even though their ideals couldn’t be more conflicting. I’d originally applauded his decision to groom her into his subordinate as she truly was a gifted witch but I wonder where it went so wrong as the author seemed to heighten his emotions for her when it was obvious how dangerously stupid falling for a little girl was. He taught her and revealed to her a majority of his secrets while her loyalty was never certain. It’s like he deluded himself into thinking it was a sure thing they were going to spend their lives together. Meanwhile she’s just eleven, fickle and easily able to be turned against him.
I don’t know, I blame reader’s obsession with seeing an mc with empathy, ‘human’ emotions, and showing genuine care for those close to him. Maybe it’s just a difference of preference but I disliked how irrational, delusional and emotionally invested he became when it had to do with Hermione. It sometimes felt like the author was inhabiting the mc and was very enamored with Hermione/Emma Watson. I won’t deny it, I can somewhat understand where he’s coming from as I dealt with the same challenges when writing myself but I made sure to separate myself from the mc and try not to show favoritism to a specific female character.
Hermione was originally meant to be a pawn but ended up owning the mc’s very fragile heart and unstable mind. It’s disheartening honestly and a primary reason why I’m dropping this novel. I wanted a cool headed mc who got things done and wasn’t controlled by his dxck or emotions. I’m not really a fan of overly emotional protagonists so I’m just gonna get off the ride while I can after reading 35 chapters. Reading other reviews showed me things don’t really change in future chapters since the author is dead set on Hermione even though their personalities directly clash. And instead of the mc corrupting and subordinating her, she’s ended up doing his head in. He acted irrationally by revealing to her all his secrets and I doubt he’s ever going to really take back control of the relationship. It’s too much angst for a bunch of 11 year olds to be dealing with.
Thus the mc and the story has just turned me off it. No hard feelings, wish the novel the best. I’m out.

New Dawn- A Harry Potter Transmigration Fanfic
5 days ago

AdamNics: I really enjoyed this. It is very much focused on magic research and changing/modernising magical society.
The "romantic" relationships have been annoying but getting better. The MC EQ seems to be getting better and he is changing the people around him to react to him better.
There are some spelling mistakes and places where sections of writing are repeated in slightly different ways.
I'm looking forward to seeing the sirius situation handled, how the magic phone network developers and how he effects the school directly.

New Dawn- A Harry Potter Transmigration Fanfic
5 days ago
Reading Status: C142
I really enjoyed this. It is very much focused on magic research and changing/modernising magical society.
The "romantic" relationships have been annoying but getting better. The MC EQ seems to be getting better and he is changing the people around him to react to him better.
There are some spelling mistakes and places where sections of writing are repeated in slightly different ways.
I'm looking forward to seeing the sirius situation handled, how the magic phone network developers and how he effects the school directly. View More
New Dawn- A Harry Potter Transmigration Fanfic
5 days ago
The story really could be more clear in synopsis of what the story included(though it did say its going to explore magic and path his own way too the future) and been tagged better (or really at all).

The relationships, especially hermione, has been a bit of a mess IMO, though I do think it has gotten better. If the hermione **** repeats one more time, I will probably start disliking this story(and I like it quite a bit). View More

guilhermecoimbra: 1) The writting quality is good for this platform and it is the story's saving grace, but also means it is average if this work was published in a developed platform.

2) The updates are constant and rigorous, I give props for the author commitment with his readers.

3) For whatever reason, I think the author is "milking" the story, halting the main plot progression and filiing the story with some tinkering in the Hp world, like creating a company, magical experiments and etc., the latters aren't a problem on itself, but the balance between the main plot progression and them. In suffice, if this was a paid novel and not a fanfiction I bet people would be talking about fillers and word count, things that authors do to drag the story for extend periods of time. I have no idea how things work on pa.treon.

3.1) If the tags "slow pace"; "Business management" were here I'd be less miffed about it.

3.2) For reference, HP and the sorcerer stone have little less than 77.000 words. This story still are in the first year of Hogwarts with 114 chapters (approximately 1,5k words per chapter according with author's estimation). Besides, Rowling did the world building from scratch, author have a sandbox.

4) Initially, the character development was one of the things responsible for the story's initial momentum and, ironically, author - in his notes - pointed out some inconsistencies with Rowling's original characters's profiles, but then he ended up creating some of their own.

Let me explain:

4.1) Harry is a trasmigated OC, he has something that people with depression and anger issues strives for: a third view perspective of the situation, in a way for them not take things too personally and affect their mental health. The character internalized this problems so much - abuse, child endangerment - that he end up appearing as an unstable sociopath.

4.2) Hermione. I don't what's the author wants with the character. I suppose that he idolize her so much that no matter what she does against the MC and creates a circus drama, the consequences are a mere afterthought by the author with a meaninless development, in a way she'll always remain as main female character. Furthermore, the circle repeats just to stir the readers I think.

That's my review up to chapter 114.

New Dawn- A Harry Potter Transmigration Fanfic
5 days ago
He's harry potter, he has attention on him anyways. I never got the impression that he was feeling lonely like that, at most annoyed at how people where acting towards him, that wouldn't have changed with him being sociable.

The gun part seems more a personal issue and though I would call him a genius, at that time he wasn't OP. Another comment talk about him never using it but he hasn't been in a proper fight bar the troll, putting in useless fights just to bring up this gun that he has really outgrown is just pointless. I personally enjoyed it being in the because it is good to be prepared but guns(besides making them) aren't that interesting (especially to write or read about). View More

Qin_lin: The main character is a complete idiot who draws so much attention to themselves acts intentionally anti social drives people away and than act as if he’s constantly lonely. WTF is the point of even considering bringing a gun in to a fantasy novel when the main character is already starting to be an over powered genius. The fact the mc doesn’t give a **** is cool but what does it amount to him beating up a few people and suddenly having a relationship with Hermione. GUNS DONT BELONG IN HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New Dawn- A Harry Potter Transmigration Fanfic
5 days ago
There is character development. He starts off with a low EQ and a solitary mindset due to little relationships with others. He does grow past that into a manipulative person and then into someone who caring for the people following him and interacting more with others. View More

Krader: I was going to read this until I read this review. What's a character without character development? I appreciate character development and well thought out plot lines so based on the review I won't be reading this.

New Dawn- A Harry Potter Transmigration Fanfic
5 days ago

Pavan1234: There are some recent reviews about this novel which criticized this novel for stupid reasons (atleast in my opinion)which have been bothering me. Those reasons are :

A) character development of Mc : this is the plot point that I started dislike as I read more novels. These character development for very predictable, for me, as most of the time they done in same ways. They are
1) Inexperienced child Mc facing a lot problems with stupid decisions and misunderstandings to become an experienced(still not smart) *****.(this way is seen in most of shounen stories. So, I got bored by these plots and started to hate and avoid them.)

2)with a sad and tragic backstory of some smart guy Mc with debatable bad quality. (the chances of this way being good and well written are low.)

B) Second one is about some guy complaining about how this novel's Mc learning Legilimency without any help from books or teachers and time it took this Mc was too low. Buddy what you're reading are reading is a fictional novel where 99% of times Mc are known to create miracle or make the impossible possible.


My advice for above types of complainers, please only read shounen stories ( for a proper character development) for those that need character development and for those that don't want miracles done by Mc in novels, stop reading the novels and live your normal day lives( as in our normal life there will be no one that can make impossible possible).

The following features are what I search for in novel :

1) start with a interesting idea.

2) unique Mc (no need for character development).

3) clever and funny character interactions.

4) most of the time fast paced novels attracts me.

5) an proper ending. This is a very quality most novels don't have in Webnovel.

I wrote all this because after a long time I am reading a good fast paced harry Potter fanfiction with slightly unique Mc. Please don't discourage the author.

New Dawn- A Harry Potter Transmigration Fanfic
5 days ago
Though it's important to be consistent, character growth is also necessary, the character being terribly inconsistent isn't good. Which he is in relationships, which considering he has no memories of any is more reasonable in my opinion. His IQ was allot higher than his EQ but that isn't necessarily because he lacks it, it just isn't as developed. View More

swordkill: Suggestion: In the initial part of the story you have portrayed Harry as a logical thinker + low EQ (who aligns in gray zone). But later on when he become friends with Hermoine or in his dealings with Headmaster you have shown him as some one who acts on impulse, emotional and some one who acts without clear plan. I see some conflicts in the character portrayal. Having inconsistency in characters behavior without clear logic would make the story inconsistent. Just try to keep this in mind as you proceed with the story

New Dawn- A Harry Potter Transmigration Fanfic
5 days ago
Dumbledore might have taken the suggestion to teach Harry himself and might move him in or near the headmaster's quarters.
Or he might place him with lupin.
Perhaps to keep a closer eye on him. View More

DRACONIAN619: So what are they going to put him in a tower.

New Dawn- A Harry Potter Transmigration Fanfic · C144
5 days ago

bloo: The writing is pretty damn good here. The story has a neat idea, I especially like that the MC has skills from his previous life, as opposed to being a total loser. The basic plot here is actually awesome! His parents were ex-shield agents who were murdered by the Hand. His job is to avenge him. Too bad it goes out the window immediately. This has potential, but there is a lot of issues.

-There is way too much **** put in for no reason other than to make the MC look cool. It's like a Frankenstein of all the cool stuff you see in other shows, put on one person. It doesn't work at all

-Like I said earlier, MC is already a top notch badass normal, kind of like black widow. Then he gets Sharingan, which already makes him broken. But that's not enough, he gets a cultivation technique that has the potential to punch a planet in half.... Oh why not throw in kryptonian physique while we're at it! Then goddamn lightning skills?

-What's the point of having the lightning powers? or the Kryptonian stuff? He's already going to be stronger and faster than everyone... What's the point of giving him Sharingan, he's already a master of combat. Just not any thought put into his powers at all. It's a complete wankfest.

-He starts killing Hand ninjas like no ones business. He already partnered with SHIELD as well, so the Hand has already lost essentially.

-It hasn't happened a lot, but I see lots of potential for making the MC a retard for plot purposes. As soon as he mentioned that he had a sister, I was thinking "Shit dude, go secure her. The hand is after you they def gonna kidnap her". I'm sure any logical person would've thought the same, right? He seems to like, forget about her? Idk. But guess what, she's kidnapped. Big surprise.

-He meets SHIELD and black widow immediately starts flirting with him. In front of Coulson and Fury. Lol.

I can't recommend this story. I think the IDEA of the story is fuckin awesome. The hand revenge plot, also with some powers. Maybe the Sharingan and his past life combat skills. Maybe Chi. Magic? Just not EVERY GODDAMN POWER EVER.

Marvel: My Own Path
1 week ago
Also you said they have two stomachs, so perhaps make the personal stomach biomass efficient and make the communal stomach into a interdimensional food storage that can be accessed by the colony and the space is the size of the additive members who have that upgrade. View More

RinoZ: I shan't forget!

Chrysalis · C339
1 week ago
Really? I'm thinking of dropping because of this chapter View More

Vuurheld: So cool this chapther

One Piece System In One Piece · C117
1 week ago
That is a dangerous ability.

Powrful people will want to kill him more for that than the killing ability

Death is supposed to be the way to permanently silence someone. Now it's not as sure.

I wonder what the uchiha place looks like and what the could tell. View More
Separated Sands: Reincarnated in Naruto · C22
1 month ago
Yeah, I can imagine something stupid like mana sharing/syncing tails View More

plp855: I think the croc uses her kids as mana sinks, they all feed her power to keep her from starving. It could also explain how her kids can survive on the surface, they a one big web of mana.

Chrysalis · C311
1 month ago
Right, only some insignificant spelling mistakes that can be easily read through. View More

MasterOfTheDadJoke: I love you author. I can't really think of anything that you can improve on. Your pacing is good, flow is nice, characterisation is nice, blah blah blah. All in all, I love you, ahem, You write well. <3

Reborn As Harry Osborn - Marvel · C76
2 months ago
Me and Jon should have both realised that cadwell is the obvious person to go to for help in coldharbour. View More
Dragonborn Saga · C370
2 months ago
Well, that's dumb. Couldn't have just made it so they had to pay to make non-combative technology work for so-many hours(a day) . View More
Dungeon Apocalypse: Earth violates the rules. · C29
3 months ago
Well, holograms or magic cards like 'The Amber sword' View More

AdamNics: I was just thinking that I wanted a duelist kingdom arc. With special appearances from weird characters like sheogorath and others. Though if they challenge the maker of the duel than the reward has to have limits.
I will really just settle for hologram arenas.

Ink_deity is everywhere.

Dragonborn Saga · C320
3 months ago
I was just thinking that I wanted a duelist kingdom arc. With special appearances from weird characters like sheogorath and others. Though if they challenge the maker of the duel than the reward has to have limits.
I will really just settle for hologram arenas.

Ink_deity is everywhere. View More

Ink_Deity: We need a Gwent tournament ark hosted Dare Entertainment!

Dragonborn Saga · C320
3 months ago
Another 'Crisis!' chapter title. Need to be more unique. View More
It's Not Easy to Be a Man After Travelling to the Future · C507
4 months ago
He already called the police once. Does he not know kidnapping is a crime? View More
Choices system · C14
4 months ago
Hmm.. Is sev bald?
I hope that's the vulture joke. View More
Reincarnation: A New World · C33
4 months ago
I don't think she ever turned into her werewolf form but she is still a werewolf even while in human form. Though her being a dog probably does bring the S out in him. View More

WiraTL: Wow..he fucks her in her werewolf form??..thats weird..i thought he hate dogs

Dragonborn Saga · C284
5 months ago

LTG: Yes that was a beautiful ending and i have to say you're mastery of the dao of cliffhangers is increasing with every chapter

Dragonborn Saga · C263
5 months ago
The author is certainly cultivating well in that demonic dao. View More

LTG: Yes that was a beautiful ending and i have to say you're mastery of the dao of cliffhangers is increasing with every chapter

Dragonborn Saga · C263
5 months ago
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