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Wicked Pervert Plundering The world of DxD
WinglessDevil: Well good thing you are a born Shakespeare and whatever you write will be perfect.
Dude this is my first novel and I am doing this for fun and experience.
And why would I be embarrassed about sharing something I made with hard work, if you have insecurity issues that's your problem.
You should also realize that most stuff on this website has terrible grammar and plot, but people still write cuz they will improve that way and like to share their ideas.
If you want super high quality novels, go read Harry Potter or something.
Bye Cu*tWicked Pervert Plundering The world of DxD
Wicked Pervert Plundering The world of DxD
PettyOfficer: There are like 20 reviews from two people giving this 5 stars and I have to put my foot down.
I’ve read up to chapter 18 and I want to blow my brains out. Wanna know why?
It’s not lacking chapters. It’s not the decent grammar or the general narrative style.
It’s the overuse of clichés, emphasis of “plans,” and useless characters. Also, the dreadful POV shifts.
For clichés, we got MC Mark, a “badass” anti-hero/hero mix. We got a random mother and daughter burden for escort. Then there’s the strong and uncooperative love interest with her friend. Oh, and I almost forgot! There’s the unnamed male employee as the servant.
Some bus is in an accident and then zombies come out from it. It’s the apocalypse and somehow, the zombies have hacks that allow them to bypass crowds and kill any good guy with a gun. No police or guards! No phone service, so you can’t call for help!
That means everyone is getting slaughtered! MC steps in to lead everyone to safety! Oh no! Someone needs help, so he goes to save them with his badass one-handed shotgunning skills! He got it from a zombie guard that happened to attack him!
But he can’t just save them without showing how all other guys are trash! A mom gets grabbed by dying man! How she is still alive when running from zombies with her daughter? Who cares! Love interest shows she can fight, but MC saves her because he must be better!
Oh? A rich fatty goes crazy and holds everyone hostage in his base? He locks out MC and kills someone with a gun? Guess it’s detour time for MC to go save them because they’re helpless without him! No need to try and reason with the fatty.
Don’t worry! It’s all according to “plan!” MC loots a place and makes the path secure. Oh, a detour to the detour? Oh, it’s time to save a new love interest? Oh, we have to get the hero a heroic entrance instead of assassinating the gangsters. We’ll have the MC talk to the Boss as he r*pes the girl because this is the “plan!”
What!? The Boss has a gun? No worries! MC knew and wanted to make sure by talking to the gangsters! He just wanted to get a better shot. What? He only shot off the Boss’s arm and kicked a gangster’s balls? What “plan” is this?
How will he survive now? Oh? It was instant KO? As expected of MC, the other gangsters run away since they luckily don’t have guns. Now the MC is the hero. Let’s have TWO chapters of FLASHBACKS to show this pampered and beautiful love interest having a hard time with her family, friends, and fiancé.
Don’t worry! Literally disarming the Boss was part of the plan! He’s bleeding out, but don’t worry! MC must have a moment with his love interest! Oh, the Boss died? Time for a new “plan!” The fleeing gangsters attracted the zombies away? As expected of the “plan!” They never could have lured them back! Even if they did, MC had “plans” for it!
Ignore that his people had to kill zombies attracted by his gunshot! Hey, that mom can come over here and clean up the love interest. That gangster Boss r*ped her all over just by himself! She’s coated in his slimy seed!
Great! We’re ready to move on! Ignore how the daughter keeps up. Man-servant has been carrying the injured mother the whole time!
Do you understand how tedious and discomforting that is? It’s a droll format. It relies on cliché encounters to build up a harem team because the author doesn’t want to have MC alone. We go back and forth between characters only so the MC is no longer the focus of the story.
It’s fractured but whole, like a fractured butt hole. Incomplete, but complete; empty, but full.Mutagen
MagikLord: I do not like it.
Too many abilities at once. (End Game Package)
Add up here that he wants to steal everything from the main character. (You can read about his adventures, but the writing is bad)
So, I dont like it.Against The Gods with an Anime System
The Irregular In ATG
WealthyRaccoon: Overly reliant on the source material to the point where the presence of the MC amounts to absolutely nothing, so much so that calling this fan fiction is a stretch so exaggerated it pulls your groin thrice over. Author took about 60 chapters to recount the 3rd book (at a bit under 100k words), while the original is a grand total of 107k. This alone isn't an indicator of poor quality but the fact that the only change we get is someone getting torn apart at the end, while the rest remains an almost shot for shot remake.
The MCs sole purpose at this point in time seems to be snarky comments and the occasional one liners, only making any form of contribution once it's relevance to the plot has been whittled down to a finite point.
Some HP fan fiction goes crazy with ideas like cultivation, dragon animagi and ancient families, but at least all of these stories have tried to inovate upon the source material, while this author is clearly far too comfortable wrapped up in the warm embrace of a pre gay Dumbledore JK Rowling.
Vastly over rated and provides almost nothing of substance. Just read the originals again, after all they'll tell the same story.Chronicles of Arth: Prince of Shadows
EroJaki: I don't really know.
Many people seem to read this fanfic and vote for it so it obvious they can read it and the story is enjoyable for them.
Just because you can't read it, it doesn't mean that it is unreadable.
So you are either a grammar Nazi or have some sort of problems when it comes to figuring the meaning behind the words.
I agree with your part that not everyone should publish their original novels, but this is in the fanfic section where web novel made it especially for new writers to publish their works.
Also, it was mentioned in the authors' book by web novel that everyone should write in the fanfic section no matter how trashy their story is and not caring by anyone's opinion.
as the real reason for the fanfic section to exist is to learn how to make an outline and following it to the end of the story.
But again few people would act like they should see only top quality in free illegal section that was made for experiment
If you can't read, then don't, not everyone should read for free. And because you can tell someone that he shouldn't write you shouldn't do so.Half Saiyan in Tales of Demons and Gods · C7
EroJaki: Well, what do you expect.
the dude is writing a free story that he doesn't gain anything from it, so it is understandable why he isn't trying to perfect his writing.
If you don't like stories without perfect grammar, you can buy ones from Amazon instead of discouraging new authors like an extremely grammar Nazi and acts like a rich guy he isn't.Half Saiyan in Tales of Demons and Gods · C7
Half Saiyan in Tales of Demons and Gods · C7
Rise of House Cason
SleepyGuy12: Stop stealing plot from CN fanfic. ancient shinobi who crossed through time and decided that Kato has potential as a ninja and names Kato her heir.Sis-Con with Dimensional Chat Group
unwashed_heathen: Lots of plagiarism from a CN novel, [我的次元聊天室]. I've only read up to C13 but the plagiarism is super blatant. It isn't just the author being 'inspired' by another work, but straight up copying.Sis-Con with Dimensional Chat Group
Alchemy Emperor of the Divine Dao
Alchemy Emperor of the Divine Dao
Marvels Strongest Father
Douluo Dalu 2 - Fan Fiction
Wallabalooza: The forced plot is a result of your character(s) not taking things seriously, or being forced into unrealistic disadvantageous situations by you. The story is focused around two things: School (cooking) and the mafia side (even if it's just a side-thing, it does matter).
The only reason he doesn't simply crush everyone and everything at cooking is because he's not trying. This is a terrible place to be stuck at as a writer, because you can't get any ******* out of the main conflict of your story, and it makes it very boring to read. It's a general issue that the "OP character who slowly reveals his powers" genre has, and one way to deal with it is to introduce conflicts where he is not at an advantage—like non-cooking things in this story. This could have been it with the mafia, but he is at the top in that too. Something where the reader doesn't already know what is going to happen.
The mafia part of the story it is forced because his subordinates should simply not be that incompetent. The only reason they are having any sort of issues is because they're acting like dummy cartoon characters half the time. An empire isn't built on idiocy and incompetency, and it's silly to imagine that he would only bring the morons to Japan with him.
I mostly enjoyed the cutesy romance part of your story, but this was another area where you could have introduced more conflict. Alice was basically already bagged before the story even started. Rindou could have introduced a lot of conflict and made things interesting.. and it did add a tiny bit of *******, for like 3 chapters, but then Alice and Rindou both accepted it without much fanfare. I'm sure you still have something planned with Erina, but I'm not holding my breath for anything interesting.
Tension is important. Conflict is important. It's what keeps a story interesting. If a reader can predict every result at the start of every scene/problem, then they will get bored very quickly and it will make for an overall dull story.
P.S. Saying that his food shred their clothes yet not dealing at all with it in-universe is such bad writing. It shred their clothes in the anime and manga so they could add some fanservice to a cooking story, but it was a kind of imaginary clothes shredding that left them "bare of all worldly things" in their mind. They didn't actually get left naked, just as they didn't end up in your story. So you saying their clothes got shredded and then leaving it at that is unbelievably silly, as it leaves the reader the mental image that whoever ate is now sitting there buck naked.
And his send-people-back-to-their-past food is coming very close to actual magic. I understand your idea behind it, but every time it happens, it just feels so out of place. If it was a special food for each person (something they ate in the past) that caused this, I could get more behind it, but any sort of food he makes for every person? That makes no sense.
Good luck.Food Wars: The Golden Hands
Wallabalooza: Meh. Writer who asks for money every chapter, but can't be bothered to even look over and edit his own work for mistakes. Why anyone would support such a lazy person, I really don't know.
Mediocre story, full of forced plot and unrealistic behavior.
If you tried harder, you could probably do decently enough, but this is not it.Food Wars: The Golden Hands
Food Wars: The Golden Hands
NorthernWind: Bro, training weights are necessary to cripple a baby's future and make sure his growth is stunted.Ron Weasley: A Noble's Ascension · C2
Half Saiyan in Tales of Demons and Gods
Half Saiyan in Tales of Demons and Gods · C1
DatDarnOtaku: Ummmmmmm no offense but in cannon no other family can take a lordship ring of another house because of the charms placed on it to prevent such things so I find it hard to believe that macnear was able to take the ring off another pureblood lord who was not affiliated to said house of MC that's the only thing that bugged me everything else was good! Keep it upRise of House Cason · C30
Elsontiger987: I was really disappointed with this novel.normally when I see there's a new novel of akikan that I can read I get exited because I love all his works I like this one to but sadly the mc no the personality of the mc a really just to scummy that i couldn't read anymore.He leads girls on to just say I only want to be friends and that I'm not looking for a girlfriend.
Then he breaks up with his past girlfriend(WHICH HE WAS CHEATINH ON WITH NONE OTHER THEN THE SLUT WICH WHO WILL SLEEP WITH ANY GUY AKANE MINAGAWA.)because he wanted to focus on his little sister that he's in love with but denies it.Then when he confeses to a girl he supposedly loves he makes out and starts going at it with his sister,basically cheating again.He said he dident want any secrets but hellow hes slept with 3 women while his girlfriend knows nothing about it.thats not even the worst part.the worst part is he sleeps with a girl while hes on a trip with his supposed lover/real sister.
So not only does he cheat on his girlfriend he cheats on his sister and actually has the fucking face to say its fucking hormoes that clouded his judgement and he couldn't hold himself back when he has women who love him offering themselves yet he's basically implying there not good enoght for him.If this will be a harem in the future it will definetly be the worst romance akikan has made. It just cant compare to how to become a mangaca or jurastic hero.Sis-Con with Dimensional Chat Group
Sis-Con with Dimensional Chat Group
Sis-Con with Dimensional Chat Group
Sis-Con with Dimensional Chat Group · C1
Rashio: Yes their magic appears sometimes a few years before but it's not there at birth. You can't just as a two year old start using magic.
Absolutely JK Rowling left plenty of gaps in her story and if you fill them in, fine. But don't make it contradictory to her story.Rise of House Falken - Harry Potter Fan Fiction
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