Hikari_yokubo

2yr

Commented

I’ve read this three times now and I’ve come to the conclusion that the Batman joke while it was funny the first it’s no longer. References are really only funny when it’s subtle or used lightly. If you’re gonna make a fake name using a reference use a different one each time.

ch 98 Hmm... Justice League?

Douluo Dalu: The Legend of Heavenly Ruler

Anime & Comics · Nine_Clouds

Hikari_yokubo

2yr

Commented

Fun fact 99% of people struck by lightning survive so realistically the odds were in his favor but I like how you’ve written the story so far~

ch 0 4 Chapter 4

Demon Slayer: Legend of Thunder Pillar

Anime & Comics · ReeviN

Hikari_yokubo

2yr

Commented

You do realize the reason why legendaries are unique is that some of them are busted take mega rayquaza it’s strong enough to challenge primal kyogre who can literally scorch the earth with its mere presence and flood the area if given enough time not discounting that rayquaza’s ability called delta stream which causes extreme wind. That’s busted if there’s more then one cause if you stack enough legendaries in one place the world would end.

ch 11 Rivals

Hikari_yokubo

2yr

Commented

Nice start but the name doesn’t really fit into rwby even though it’s a color. It would be better if you picked a color that matched him. His hair is red but you naming him blue lotus doesn’t really make sense. It would be nice to have him in a color scheme that doesn’t clash because blue and red clash against each other so clothing wise it doesn’t make sense also his first and last name clash while no one else’s does. Everyone else sticks to a color scheme then the mc but other than that the story is good.

ch 0 2 Ch 1: Twin Roses

Slayer Chronicles: Book 1: RWBY

Anime & Comics · TJ_Watkins

Hikari_yokubo

3yr

Commented

But weiss’s mother isn’t dead~

ch 0 3 New Home, New Family

Hikari_yokubo

3yr

Commented

I like the story it’s just hard to figure a lot of details cause you’re not describing anything and you keep using * which is kinda annoying

This chapter has been deleted.

The only problem I have with this fanfic is that instead saying”he says as he goes to use his reiatsu to scan the area or something along the lines you use *uses reiatsu to scan* which is kinda annoying and makes it hard to picture the scene in my head but otherwise it’s fine~

This chapter has been deleted.

Aizen The False God in RWBY

Anime & Comics · DiceyZimmer

Hikari_yokubo

3yr

Commented

Isn’t this a NF song?

ch 117 Chapter-116 "Crystal Eyes" and "My demons" pt-3 (Side-Chapter-4)

The Eye Of The Moon Plan

Anime & Comics · Legendary_Person

Hikari_yokubo

3yr

Commented

I don’t understand why you’re calling it balmung if it’s the prototype which would have made it the demon sword gram or merodach the original sin

ch 0 3 Pre entrance and entrance exam

Gilgamesh in MHA

Anime & Comics · Believers

Hikari_yokubo

3yr

Commented

The hunter organization finding him doesn’t make sense considering the only people who knew his name or even knew he existed was the people who are either missing or dead. The story is okay but it needs some refinement

ch 40 Missing Hunters - Chapter 40

Hunter X Hunter - The Unknown Fate

Anime & Comics · Krizantem

Hikari_yokubo

3yr

Commented

Romance that happens in the beginning of a story where the protagonist travels different worlds makes it hard to do anything cause then you need to figure out excuses or ways for them to travel with the Mc which in my opinion ruins the story a little bit cause then it feels like all the character development for the Mc will stop and it will just be his girls getting more and more development. But otherwise the story is good but the romance could be put on hold for a time where he comes back.