stormfalcon13: So we have a group of guys that are bombing a nest for some reason. Okay... This is pretty cool. A pink bomb is not something I was expecting.Enforcers · C33
WateryRein: So that's a nest. That is crazy cool. Dead monsters are used to make new monsters. I like that. Also a flying monster, and massive pink bombs.Enforcers · C33
Tommy_Donald: Okay finally caught up. It did take me a while to, since your story is so long...Enforcers · C33
WateryRein: I 100% agree with you. So far I have liked this story a lot, but hot damn does it need to speed up and shrink down sometimes. I feel like the pacing is this tales biggest flaw.Enforcers · C32
Pieperson2001: See. Once again, it came full circle. We find out here how Hero works, and what his big parts are. The problem is that this was so slow. Don't get me wrong I don't want it to come out of nowhere, and I do like how it was seen the problem is we had Hero in a comma for like four chapters. Now don't get me wrong. I did like this, but I felt like if you could just shrink it down. Again these chapters are really big, and last long. If they were shrunken down it would just work so much better...Enforcers · C32
stormfalcon13: Finally Hero is awake. Geez it took you like 5 chaptersEnforcers · C32
stormfalcon13: You called this chapter finding the plot. Author Oh how I love you.Enforcers · C31
WateryRein: Finding the plot. Lol.
Okay again, I do like this story but again, we've really slowed down. Thankfully you upload everyday so I don't have to worry about that...Enforcers · C31
Pieperson2001: I feel like these last few chapters are some of your biggest strong suits, and flaws. You have this amazing world with all this plot, and it is built up really well, and funny... And then it begins to slow down at times... At the beginning of each arc it stats off so well, and then it begins to just slow down, than speed up, than slow down. You have a really good story, you just need a better pacing.Enforcers · C31
WateryRein: Yeah... Like I am liking the lore and stuff that is being reveled but I wish it was done a little betterEnforcers · C30
stormfalcon13: I feel like you had a fever high while writing these last few chapters as they are bat**** crazy, and I love it.Enforcers · C30
RainyLiquid2020: Thanks for the input ;) I know it did slow down to an extent. All of this is good input. I am taking everything I learned to improve each chapter from this point on.Enforcers · C29
WateryRein: I do agree with the others. The comma subplot really slowed this down.Enforcers · C29
Pieperson2001: Hero. Casually heals lava being splashed on him. Gets bit by a big boi, and is conked out in a comma...Enforcers · C29
stormfalcon13: When will Hero wake up? It has been 2 chapters of him being in a comma, and I am already tired of it...Enforcers · C29
stormfalcon13: Ohh... Spooky ghost dream world and a bit of jealousy... Hmm... In all seriousness, I am excited to see what happens next.Enforcers · C28
RainyLiquid2020: What makes it really great was that I didn't actually intend for it to come off as a jealous Ken... I just am really awful at trying to write platonic relationships... Seriously wait till Hero and Kitsune interact again. You'll think they're trying to secretly bone each other.Enforcers · C28
WateryRein: A creepy old preist huh? Weird. Any one else see that red flag?Enforcers · C27
Pieperson2001: No! You won't get me to ship Hero with Irene. Only Ken.Enforcers · C27
stormfalcon13: A creepy priest who takes care of a town in the middle of nowhere, that is somehow growing food despite the freezing cold, and have changed their story for how things were working at least twice now, and are being attacked by monsters. Call me crazy... But I think he's the bad guy!Enforcers · C27
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