nimzor - Profile

New ordeal came on fast! So take or leave the cricism, as I’ve enjoyed your writing and this certainly isnt a deal breaker. I’ve notied a marked increase in the velocity of the plot progression, which (to me at least) seems to have come at the expense of character development. Some examples are frequently the reader is reminded of Jake’s introverted nature through exposition rather than showing it. The conflict with sarah, I think could have been flushed out a little more and you wouldnt have needed the dialog with Xi to make sure to reader grasped it. If youre making these decisions, because of the medium for this story, and that is just how a daily chapter of a webnovel needs to go, so be it. Like i said earlier I still enjoy the story. Also if youre not looking for criticism feel free to completely ignore this.

Makes sense.

I thought he would feel that he failed the Trial.

Brings up an interesting question about his Aetheric Decline, which if I recall relates to feelings if defeat. How quickly is the decline, and is it temporary? He feels that this challenge defeated him, but then is told that he passes, does any decline get negated? Does the acceleration and decline occur while the feelings are present, and he is undergoing a task, or does it continue afterward as long as those feelings persist?