Webnovel Author: TheRealIndra - Fanfic Collection

Doppins is stealing this book from someone else! Search up "Dark Phoenix of Konoha" by 'White Angel of Auralon' on ff.net

Doppins is stealing this book from someone else! Search up "Dark Phoenix of Konoha" by 'White Angel of Auralon' on ff.net

Doppins is stealing this book from someone else! Search up "Dark Phoenix of Konoha" by 'White Angel of Auralon' on ff.net

Doppins is stealing this book from someone else! Search up "Dark Phoenix of Konoha" by 'White Angel of Auralon' on ff.net

THIS IS A PLAGIARISED BOOK! I have been subscribed to the Patreon for about a month now because for me, the book has been a very good read. LITTLE DID I KNOW, i went on ff.net recently and discovered that "Dark Phoenix of Konoha" written by user 'White Angel of Auralon' IS THE SAME STORY AS THIS, WORD FOR WORD SAME STORY. LITERALLY THE OPENING OF CHAPTER 1 IS A COPY PASTE !! The story on ff.net was created TWELVE years ago. Furthermore, this plagiarizor SPLIT the chapters up, pretending to have "more" chapters. One chapter on the ff.net could be 2 to 4 chapters here. I'm posting 5 stars so the chances of bot delete is lower, BUT BEWARE READERS THIS "AUTHOR" DOPPINS IS STEALING ANOTHER'S WORK AND PASSING IT OFF AS HIS OWN!

in point 1 of the bad - there was a typo, it should instead be "And, if the entire village knows, then the other major villages knows"

Regarding to number 1 of the good, I could be mistaken in that the world knows Hayato is Minato's little brother. If i am mistaken, then the reason is beacuse in Hayato's 7 year long mission, he has made a huge name for himself with fame as wide as Minato, so he fears that Naruto would be targeted to get to him. Not because he is the littler brother of Minato, but because of his fame he accrued in the 7 years.

Aaaaaaand dropped at Chapter 30. BEWARE, THE MC IS NOT NAMIKAZE HAYATO, BUT UZUMAKI SARUTO - AN ORPHANED "SURVIVOR" OF THE NINE TAILS RAMPAGE. At Chapter 30, a dealbreaker was reached in terms of the plot for me. But before getting into that, here's the good: 1) World background - Pretty solid 5 stars. The prologue plotline focuses on the tales of the unsung heroes (largely OCs) in the Naruto World. Our MC, Namikaze Hayato, is part of an elite Anbu team with 3 other "prodigies" of Konoha - Aiko Yamanaka the sensei, Ryohei Hyuga the rival(not romantic rival) and Kaede Uchiha the romantic interest. It starts off with the "Fanon" events - MCs Anbu team against Iwa in a priority retrieval mission, where MC and his team (minus one member who left beforehand to relay critical information back to Konoha and complete the mission) dies trying to stall the Iwa ninjas so the 4th team member can complete the mission, and then gets re-told due to the 'interference' of a ROB. After said interference, MCs team and Iwa is fighting against demon Moryo (from that Naruto Movie) and survive the mission, though they did have to return the scroll to Iwa to survive, thereby failing the mission. Present storyline is captivating and interesting. Our MC is GROWN up now, allegedly on the level of Minato with fame as wide and prominent as that of the Yellow Flash. His moniker is Yellow Bullet if i recall correctly, and he has spent 7 years outside of Konoha basically doing what Post-Shippuden Sasuke does, protecting the peace of Konoha from external threats as a shadow kage(not really a shadow kage but his role is very reminiscent of it). However, a year since the start of his mission, Kurama's rampage occured. Due to MCs delicate nature of his mission, he was unable to return to Konoha for the funeral of Minato and Kushina, nor was he able to be there for Naruto for the following 6 years. At this point, uchiha massacre has yet to occur, and Hayato is the sensei of Shisui Uchiha. Hayato and Kaede at some point saved Karin and adopted her as well. Upon return to Konoha, Hayato was initially unaware of Naruto's abuse by Konoha. He had wanted to take on a disguise as Uzumaki Saruto, due to the fear of people attacking Naruto to get to him as it is well-known by other villages that Hayato is the little brother of Minato. However, Hayato had found out about Naruto's abuse by the village and the incompetence in the handking of Naruto by Hiruzen. I will end the world background review here. 2) Characters - The conversations are decent. No major issues with grammar used as well. Clearly one of the better made fanfics on this site. Characters don't feel two dimensional, and in their dialogues, they display personal "quirks" that give them extra depth as characters. From Aiko's teasing of Hayato and Ryohei, to the heartfelt self-monologue of Hayato at the grave of Minato and Kushina. 3) Update stability - is pretty good for a well written fanfic on this site. Now for the bad and my dealbreakers 1) Characters - WHAT? I THOUGHT THERE WAS GOOD CHARACTER DESIGNS WITH A NON 2D PERSONALITY AND ALSO HAS CHARACTER DEPTH! Slow down, calm down. Yes character design is good, BUT, in one instance, the character design just took a dip. This is a spoiler, but to be fair, if you read up to here, the entire fanfic has already been spoiled :P Anyways, when Hayato found out about the abuse of Naruto, he had confronted Hiruzen. The confrontation is summed up as a tirade of disappointment from Hayato to Hiruzen, almost leading to physical confrontation. Hayato made it explicitly clear that he thinks Hiruzen is incompetent and that he disagrees with Hiruzen's "political" view of Naruto. This confrontation ended on a very sour note betweem the two, BUT on the next scene, they are on normal talking terms again. Author has stated this as "Professionalism - separating work/business from personal things". However, the contrast was too huge that it made it feel like that entire tirade by Hayato was just completely useless. You could remove that entire mini-arc and it would feel like nothing was amiss. That's how BAD it was because that mini-arc was IMPORTANT in context. To put it simply, Hayato's initial plan to adopt Naruto under the disguise of Uzumaki Saruto, is rendered useless due to the ENTIRE VILLAGE knowing Naruto is the Jinchuriki. AND, if the entire village knows, it would be safe to assume the entire village knows. Because civilians gossip and merchants listen. That's why this mini-arc is important - First is the emotional tirade and disappointment displayed by Hayato, showcasing character depth, is completely VOIDED due to the following scenes where they just act like nothing ever happened because of "professionalism". And second, linked to the first, a major plot-line is tied to this tirade. So by acting like nothing ever happened, you are also disregarding an entire major plot-line from happening. But, the next part of the bad is the kicker 2) HAYATO STILL ADOPTS NARUTO AS UZUMAKI SARUTO, as of Chapter 30. So, why even go through all that emotional development, disregard it as professionalism, and end up at square 1? First, Hayato wants to adopt Naruto by using Saruto name. Second, Hayato finds out Naruto is abused and that his status as jinchuriki is revealed to Konoha. Third, Hayato ponders the usefulness of the disguise since Naruto will always be in danger anyways, thereby making his disguise useless. Fourth, Hayato goes on an emotional tirade onto Hiruzen. Fifth, that whole tirade is ignored in favour of maintaining professionality. And Lastly, Hayato decides to use the disguise. THE EXPLANATION FOR THIS is to "protect Karin". Bro, Karin will be seen with Naruto, she is STILL going to be in danger... 3) Now for the main dealbreaker that made me drop. I wanted to read the story of our MC NAMIKAZE HAYATO. Meaning, I want to read the villages reaction of one NAMIKAZE HAYATO raising Naruto, as how the synopsis and title of this story has led me to believe. HOWEVER, with the MC deciding to go as Uzumaki Saruto, it seems i WILL NOT BE READING ABOUT NAMIKAZE HAYATO, but i will be reading the story of one Uzumaki Saruto. THIS is the deal breaker. WHY have an MC on the level of Hiruzen, only to have him be someone he is not. For the "Safety of Karin" or "Safety of Naruto" would not even keep me reading this fanfic. I want to read the story NAMIKAZE HAYATO and not UZUMAKI SARUTO. (While they are both the same person, the difference is in MY perspective of the story, as it does not feel like reading about Minato's younger brother and uncle to Naruto, but feels like im reading some no-named Uzumaki. I WOULD read about the no-named uzumaki if the story was about a no-named uzumaki, but this story allegedly is about Namikaze, yet the MC decides to be an Uzumaki). Until the author or a future reader can tell me the chapter where he drops his disguise and decides to show himself as the ACTUAL MC NAMIKAZE HAYATO, i will not be reading this fanfic. This is a good fanfic with good story premise and character depth, however, once again, my dealbreaker was hit. Thanks for reading up to this point! Don't be disheartened Author, while this is my dealbreaker, im sure im in the minority !! Keep up the good work!!

Yo doppins, your patreon got removed i think. Was going to re-read the chapters on patreon since i had access to latest chapters, but your page doesnt exist anymore.

you had me at ronaldinho. Take my 3 stones and give me chapters!! This is a pre-recview by the way xD I have yet to read a single chapter, but come on, ronaldinho

Author, while i enjoy the premise of this fanfic, the grammar leaves much to be desired xD Don't get me wrong, it is still readable and of a better translation quality than most on this site, but i think you need a beta-reader or editor to help edit some of the plot and grammatical mistakes. I have been going round asking a few translating authors if they would like me to send them my edited version of their work, yet none replied. So i extend the same offer to you, I have edited the first chapter just for my own convenience to read. Would you like to see it and maybe i can help you edit your chapters just to keep things coherent and tight. Like in chapter 1, Dao and Tie Uchiha just sounds too funny as names in Naruto xD i renamed them as Daichi and Tenma Uchiha in my edited version. Let me know if you have a patreon where i can contact you if you would like me to assist you in editing/beta reading

Hi author. The grammar is, while still bearable, absolutely haywire. I can piece together what the sentence is meant to say, but doing so takes the immersion out of reading the translation. It also disrupts the flow of passage .-. I'm offering to edit/proof-read/beta-read your translations for free, just so that other readers will have an easier time to read the translation. Let me know if you're interested, if not i'll just keep my edited version for myself. If you have a free membership for your patreon, we can discuss further on patreon and if you would like to see my edited version of the first few chapters, i can pass it there too

Hmmm, I think i have to drop this fanfic at cahpter 172. Story direction near end of season 2 felt very rushed. Stop reading now if you want to avoid some spoilers. still here? you've been warned. Let's start with grammer and story flow. I cannot remember about the pre-chapter 150, but mostly i remember having an easy time reading, with only minimal and hard to detect grammer issues. Some phrases used were pretty "meme" worthy, but nonetheless iirc, pre chapter 150, character interactions felt natural and meaningful. Meaningful in a sense that it does not feel forced nor NPC like. There were and still are some errors, for example sometimes the author wpuld describe some things in billions which would not make sense - Chapter 170+ his album got gold on day one i think, which is 500,000 units. But the author said 500,000 billion units. Some very easy to spot and easy to correct to mistakes. HOWEVER, Post chapter 150, it felt like there was a change in author, or that the author lost his editor. The character interactions feel so forced and some drama were very unnecessary. Edward in his Gacha draw goes into a suspended state of rest, which was happened upon by Haley. Haley alerted everyone and the doctors ALMOST pronounced him dead because he showed no signs of life. The issues with this plotline is that, in the other characters POV, they attributed this to him OVERWORKING, because if you've read the book, he was overworking by NORMAL human standards. Thats the main crux, normal human standards, which Edward ignores because he is not a normal human. BUT THE REST OF THE CAST DON'T KNOW THIS. So then it goes into this whole dramatic arc where he gets annoyed, irritated and angry at everyone around him for trying to put him into a "cage", because what else would they do when they find you in a death-like state and based on what EDWARD'S WORK ETHIC was like, attributed this state to physical exhaustion... OBVIOUSLY THEY WOULD TRY TO SLOW HIM DOWN BECAUSE THEY WORRY. But Edward does not see it from their point of view, and just adopts this whole "shut the fuck up im fine" attitude towards his father and everyone else around him. Eventually he makes a lie saying he's homo-superior or wtv, but it was so dificult to read through that entire arc because it irked me so much that Edward was disregarding everyone's emotional state because of the actions he chose to do and did not explain because he couldnt(super-human with system). Enough about plot line, lets talk romance. Up to chapter 172, In my opinion, author FUMBLED IT HAAAAAAAARD. Edward in this book is a play-boy and due to author's decisions, doesn't even end up with any of the current girls. Okay so there's Abby, Taylor Swift, Haley, the chick from the farm i forgot her name maybe it was Abigail or smtg. These are the 4 main ones right off the top of my head but i believe it's only Abby, Taylor and Haley that had a romance sub-plot. Dont get me wrong, there's a couple other girls that has the "im a horny teenager and want to screw you" sub-plot. But on the main 3 girls, he screwed taylor first, then Abby then Haley. BUT, he was in an official relationship with Abby, while screwing Taylor and neither knew of it. He screwed Haley after he broke up with Abby. confusing? let me explain. He screws Taylor early on in the fanfic, but this was more like a one night stand kinda thing. I'll get more into it later cuz i honestly thought this was going to be Taylor main romance. So Abby, edward knew of her before, got together with her, ABBY BROKE UP WITH HIM BECAUSE SHE WAS JEALOUS, then Haley started making her move, but Abby and Edward still like each other. while all this was happening, he screwed Taylor. Abby, an OC, FELT like she was going to be a main-rom until author decided nah, she needs to move away feom Edward. And so she does and lost her main-rom status. BUT, before she leaves. Author decides "Hey i should make the readers scared and have her mom get into a car accident while edward is singing It Will Rain while it's actually raining". But i guess he saw the reader comments and next chapter was like "Yeah just kidding it was a light accident she's fine". Did i forget to mention he screwed Haley after the breakup with Abby and before Abby left? No? well i just did. Now Haley, well, she's a main cast from Modern Family. MAYBE she's main girl? WRONG AGAIN. They're relationship is very ambiguous atm at chapter 172. nothing much here except they've kissed and screwed. Now Taylor. Author really f*cked the readers on this one. THERE WAS SO MUCH BUILD-UP TO THIS RELATIONSHIP ONLY FOR AUTHOR TO END IT.... I was genuinely OKAY with this pairing. Taylor was seen as abit yandere, and was VERY, VERY open with edward. They have both done ALOT of things together. Went on dates, got Taylor's dad's approval, edward was even going to help Taylor out of her contract. The signs were all pointing towards Taylor main romance. UNTIL IT WASNT! SUDDENLY, THE VICE DIRECTOR GAVE TAYLOR AN ULTIMATUM OF EITHER HER LOVE LIFE OR HER CAREER, AND TAYLOR WANTED TO CHOOSE HER CAREER, SO SHE WANTED TO END THINGS WITH EDWARD. BUT GUESS WHAT, WHILE THIS WAS HAPPENING, EDWARD WAS TALKING TO THE MAIN DIRECTOR AND GOT TAYLOR OUT OF HER CONTRACT. BUT AUTHOR SAID SCREW COMMUNICATION, MISUNDERSTANDING AND IGNORANCE FOR THE WIN! Taylor tells Edward she wants to end things because she wants to still sing. Then Edward tells taylor then he actually alrdy got her out the contract and now he feels butt-hurt she wants to end things with him for her career. LIKE NO SHIT SHERLOCK. BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! Edward already TOLD TAYLOR that he would help her. AND YET, HUH? DID TAYLOR FORGET THIS??? DID SHE SUDDENLY LOSE BRAIN CELLS AND NOT WAIT FOR EDWARD'S PLAN??? I DONT GET IT! THIS WHOLE PLOTLINE WAS SO FORCED THAT THE ONLY REASON WHY THE AUTHOR EVEN FORCED THIS OUT WAS BECAUSE OF THE WHOLE "oh taylor's older than Edward" or "I got other romance plot in store" LIKE BRO. You alrdy introduced AND SHUT DOWN 3 romance plot-lines. I am now very inclined to say Edward ends up a playboy and just screws every model he sees as he two, three maybe even five-times whoever he is currently dating. Honestly, the author got me invested into a Edward x Taylor romance only to say "phock you". So Yes, Edward x Taylor is OVER. Lastly, the main reason why im dropping this. THIS DOES NOT FEEL LIKE A MODERN FAMILY FANFIC AT ALL ???? IDK, it just doesnt. The episodes are few and far in-betweem. there's alot of Edward slice of life which im okay with. But the "X-Factor" of this fanfic for me is the use of actual songs in the fic. For Example, during the charity concert, Viva La Vida was the first song sung by Edward and it got me all hyped and goose-bumps and all just listening to the song itself while reading the lyrics on the fanfic as well as the character reactions in between. It used to happen often, like every once or twice in 10 chapters. then for some reason, edward planned to do a concert tour, but IT GOT SKIPPED ??? LIKE THERE WAS JUST ONE SONG AND THE WHOLE TOUR WAS SKIPPED with a timeskip. I get that it might get repetetive, but if you skip your x-factor, then whats the point of reading? Yes, im blowing this out of proportion BUT ITS MY X-FACTOR not yours. It's the main reason why im reading this fic, to get the nostalgia of listening to the songs and reading reactions. I was also heavily invested in the romance sub-plot, but as i explained early, i have given up because author gave a huge "Phock you". It's still a good read, but i'm done reading this now until someone tells me Taylor is back and at which chapter. i dropped at Chapter 172.