Ceealy - Profile

The story is good so far but the bouncing around of names distracts from the story. The story needs to be re-edited and only one name needs to be chosen for each of the characters. It gets confusing trying to understand who is being referenced during the story. The genders need to be fixed as well, in the same paragraph at times, the same person is labeled him and her. When the original character is female having them identified as him, then her, then his, then hers, then she, then he. All during the same paragraph or page gets really confusing. There are other things I have noticed, but, these were the most repetitive that pulls the enjoyment from the story. Thank you for your efforts in writing the story for us. My suggestions are only to help it become a more fluid read.

the 24th chapter is blank, that should probably be rectified. people are paying to read this.

not my place to medal into.... needs editing. Meddle is the correct word. Spell check can catch the spelling but it doesn't put the rightly defined word in the wrong words place. It just says yes that's right or no that's wrong. Loving the dynamics of the characters so far. Thank you for your imagination.

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola

you mentioned he was 19. but in this chapter you said he just turned 18. very inconsistent .