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DoNotConsentToAdds

DoNotConsentToAdds

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2018-12-09 Joined Global

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Commented
You might want to switch Special jonin and jonin around. I know it is an arpitrary power list but it still bugs me.
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Reviewed at chapter 14. Read it, liked it. It is 6:40 in here and i need to be at work at 9 and i have no regrets. If you like Naruto fan-fic's that go to a little more detail on how things work i doubt you will regret picking it up either. Writing Quality - 5* i'm not really picky on this part as as long as i don't have to wrap my brain around MTL jenga i'm happy, if there were missed capitalization or (s)he errors i probably missed them due to being drawn to the story enough to forget about them by the time i was reading the next sentence. Stability of Updates - 4* The writer has mentioned that they are a student working towards their masters so expect less chapters during exam season. All in all i'm impressed that they have the energy to post anything as i could hardy get out of bed when i was a student. Story Development - 5* Slow burn, no going Super Saiyan 3 by chapter 5 in here. MC is slowly working her way trough life and i feel that her decisions on what to do, when to do it and how to do it are all explained in an easy to follow manner that makes sense in the context of the story. Also i'm partial to Female MCs so i might be a bit bias ;) Character Design - 5* I Like the MC so far, there have not been massive info dumps on who she was before reincarnation and i'm happy for that as i prefer to get to know the characters slowly and it gives the authors more leeway when deciding the direction they want to take them later in the story without completely rewriting their expected behavior from one chapter to the next. The supporting cast also seem to also be behaving in a plausible way given the story setting. World Background - 5* I always like it when Fan-Fiction writers try to give a fresh perspective to already fleshed out words and working to develop existing consents further, for example in this story there are some creative ideas on chakra manipulation that i hope that the author will continue to dive deeper into as thought experiments like that on the inner workings of it kept me reading for more.
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Commented
Mute?
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Nobody will ever know

Nobody will ever know

Anime & Comics · Ivy_MG

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Replied to DoNotConsentToAdds
Had to go back and to a double take :D When i first saw the AU tack on the story i was under the impression that it was for the SW and that ME would still follow canon but look like it is a bit of both.

That line of thinking resulted in me being moved to the Justicar branch of the military rather than the commandos like I had hoped, being a supercharged, diplomatically immune assassin did have its benefits, however, there were downsides, it was a lonely life. Life was interesting for a time, doing hits for the Asari government was fun, my favourite of the lot was a hit on a hostile Krogan Warlord.

Star Wars: The Last Asari

Star Wars: The Last Asari

Movies · TheFallenAngel01

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Commented
You might want to use the term V.I. instead for the A.I. if you want her to accept the deal for the integrated system. as it was stated in chapter 1 this MC has no love for droids or any kind of A.I. and having one watch you for 24/7 is paranoia fuel of the highest magnitude for some one like the MC you have build up so far. Then again if you want her to resist and try to free herself from the influence of the system+goddess then you are on the right track.

The 'Goddess' leaned down to meet me at eye level, "Ep is entertainment points, I have been here for thousands of years, watching the same show play out over and over and over. Sith kills Jedi, Jedi kill Sith and the process repeats. Slight variations happen sure but the story is still the same, I will grant you a system, an A.i if you will that will grant you things created through my divinity, the more you entertain me, the more you can buy, be that upgrades to your power, weapons, ammo, living beings. I can create it all but at a cost, equivalent change is how my powers work. A mess I know, not what I planned out all those years ago."

Star Wars: The Last Asari

Star Wars: The Last Asari

Movies · TheFallenAngel01

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Commented
Please don't tell me that you had Mordin Solus in mind with that name :( and that is not how the genophage works :/ would have made a lot more sense if you just wrote that it is anti-grogan poison developed in case of a second grogan uprising.

The warlord in question was at least 7 feet in height while I'm an average 5ft 11, the size difference made him think he was invincible after all, Krogan strong. What he didn't expect was that my blade was laced with an extremely strong toxin designed specifically to kill Krogans, sound familiar? It was a more extreme strand of the genophage that I had borrowed from some Salarin scientist name Moridin.

Star Wars: The Last Asari

Star Wars: The Last Asari

Movies · TheFallenAngel01

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Replied to Sample_Text_2389
I agree so far looks to fit AU with every word i read.

That line of thinking resulted in me being moved to the Justicar branch of the military rather than the commandos like I had hoped, being a supercharged, diplomatically immune assassin did have its benefits, however, there were downsides, it was a lonely life. Life was interesting for a time, doing hits for the Asari government was fun, my favourite of the lot was a hit on a hostile Krogan Warlord.

Star Wars: The Last Asari

Star Wars: The Last Asari

Movies · TheFallenAngel01

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Commented
Hi. If you have her be born from a union with a human please keep in mind that that could not have happened before 2157 CE as that was when the first contact war was, this was 29-30 years before the events of ME3 (about 2186-2187 CE) so she would be extremely young by asari standards and it would have been unlikely that she had received any official training at this time in her life. By comparison Liara was born on Thessia in 2077, making her "only" 106—barely an adult in asari terms as stated in the official wiki. This is under the assumption that that is where/when we get her to jump universes from. And as pointed out by Text_2389 i not once remember hearing anything about any asari having any preferences on the desirability of their child's other parent :/ only that "purebloods" were shunned due to the whole ardat yakshi stigma. So as far as i know it should not matter if the "Father" is a salarian, human or even vorcha :D Then again i did not read any of the novels so there might be something i missed :/ if you have a source for this info please share as i would like to know about it :)

I was born from a union between an Asari and a Human female, being a half-blood got me a lot of shit growing up, especially in the military academies however results speak for themselves, my biotics? Top grade, reaction times? Better than the synthetic Geth, the only questionable thing about me was my mentality, I have always been happier to kill my target than arrest them, believing that removing the threat completely is more efficient than giving them a chance at redemption.

Star Wars: The Last Asari

Star Wars: The Last Asari

Movies · TheFallenAngel01

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