Reviews of Bloodline Mage by M_A_Ilmi - Webnovel

Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact rebecca.review@outlook.com. A brief introduction, some sample charpters or links will be appriciated when reaching out.

Constructive Criticism: You wrote 5 chapters then you stopped? I suggest continuing this novel... if you do I will guarantee I will read it, at-least if you do so soon enough... I also suggest not stopping writing w/o letting your readers know why before hand. Positive Feedback: I see nothing wrong with your novel, just your stability of updates. Personal Feedback: I will continue reading this novel if you continue writing it before 6 months after you finished chapter 5 are up.;,;. Score: SoU 3/5 Rest 5/5

There isn't much to go by regarding the direction of the story, but there are quite a few things which can already be said regarding the story's beginning: - Starting with an action scene and dire circumstances for the MC is good, but sadly not much develops from that situation. The bad guys just leave and the story goes into an overly long exposition for two chapters. - The introduction of the MC and his power is a little dry. It's fine for a first draft, but here's a tip for future writing: try to SHOW things more and tell them less. The reader would be more intrigued to see the MC using his power rather than listening to how his "special bloodline" works. Basically, the part where the power is explained is a weak info-dump, but the part where the MC transforms into one of the "bad guys' via imagining is nice. - The MC comes off as too edgy before we even got to see him do anything, which gives a bad for impression to him. Edgy and anti-heroes MCs can be great, but the reader first needs to develop some level of familiarity and respect toward them before they can accept their "evil" side. In short, I think it'd be a good idea to show the MC do more things, to convince the reader why they want to follow this MC's story. And, no need to explain in detail how what he does works, at least not at the beginning. Keeping some suspense afloat works great. Beside that, there's some potential here. The ability to project thoughts into reality is interesting and can go places.

The length of the story is good and so is the story development. I understand that it might be hard to explain things to the readers if you solely rely on first person view. However, the sudden changed in POV was a little confusing. I thought I have accidentally opened a different tab. Maybe put in a notification whenever you changed POV? I know there is the line thingy, but it is not very clear that it was meant to be a change of POV. Cheers, Luo Ye

I have not yet seen that kind of skill you just need to imagine and use it as long as you have enough energy, I found that point interesting. I took a quick look at his other novels and saw that he improved a lot. Keeps ... In the case of errors, there are some, but sometimes you do not know if it is due to the translator ...

Well done! Though there are a few grammatical mistakes, everything else is quite interesting. Looking forward to another chapter soon. :D _________________________________________________________________

It's too early to judge it's quality, and I rwte 5 stsre regardless, however the story has great potential, so make sure to use it. good luck fellow author.

I rate 5 stars for everything! Interesting start to the novel and interesting that they want to *shiver* eat him... I find the typos and sentences annoying! The commas make the sentence read weird. Try reading some of those sentences out loud and see if the commas positions really belong there...?

Your description is poetic and atmospheric. You show a lot of efforts in bringing your world to life. The story seems interesting enough. The MC's background is unclear though. And where did a 13-year old learn to formulate ruthless plans involving murderous gangs? Some nitpickings: - Chap 1, first paragraph seem to be from a 3rd-person perspective. Which is out of place from the rest of the chap. Same problem with first paragraph of chap 2. Did you first write in 3rd person then change to 1st person? - The descriptions and dialogues are a bit wordy. Also there is a lack of proper punctuations. Example: "Little brat why don't you just come out from wherever you are hiding, and I promise I'll deliver you a painless death -> "Little brat! Why don't you come out? It'll be quick and painless, I promise!" - The phrase "cannot afford to die" is grammatically correct, but is not meaningful. It's like saying, "If I die, I'll be in big trouble!" (well, duh) Keep up the good work!

It's super early to give a review but here's mine your descriptions are well made the dialogue is not heavy and exposition doesn't feel like exposition but you need to break the paragraphs more and try to more words in a chapter it's still early but you can also describe mc like what he wore that day where he's running to etc. It's a good start for a novel I wish it all the best.