Hey Swat! Just wanted to let you know that I loved this story, is there any chance you could bring it back, or reupload the chapters that existed previously? I really want to read it againπ
I miss this do you think you will ever continue it ?ββββββββββοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈββοΈβοΈβββοΈβοΈβββββββββββββββββββββββββββββοΈβββοΈβββοΈβββοΈβββοΈββ
dude no offense but this story is bad you should go back to multiversal demon hunter it was way better if been waiting for 8 months for an update for that one
The reason I put this is after I finished reading the jack arc I was mad like this mc wasted 16 without practicing **** and then later get system but after itβs all good after the Atlantic arc that was when I got mad this man trained but this man wasted a lot of potential by not letting them fight themselves gain experience with different kind of opponent and ya itβs good after that but the jack arc made me mad the most this made wasted a lot of time and endanger a girlfriend candidate but still make this out alive the man the they were facing ultimate level did the world just throw away the power gap between level.
Ps. This is just my opinion I think it is great just it needs some logic at least and also this is too based on the dxd characters and not the mc because most of the time it is only the dxd characters that are developing more and more
The grammar is good, so is the plot. The main character doesn't get overpowered too quickly. The upload schedule isn't bad. A good read, highly recommended.
Itβs 4.2, but Iβm writing 5 since there are a ridiculous number of incels on this site that believe making an mc be the βsubordinateβ (itβs really only in name if you read the story) of someone automatically makes the author an βidiot/simp/retard/etc.β .... I seriously cannot believe how ignorant, arrogant, and close minded most individuals are when trying to view a story. Outside of that it has decent pacing where it doesnβt feel like itβs taking too long or short for our mc to obtain strength, and the romance is actually very thought out for the most part.
Sorry you have to deal with the abuse author!
In my opinion this could have been a great novel it was pretty funny in the beginning you just made some (in my opinion) silly mistakes.1 like a lot of other dxd novels you introduced too many powers from different universes which makes it hard to understand and accept where the mc stands power wise. 2 Idk what you where thinking of doing with his parents but but in the story his mother came off as a s*** lusting after her own son(and others when she was younger) which you tried to kind of playoff as not being a very big thing but that's not a conversation that a mother would ever have with her son. And if this wasn't bad enough this was our as readers first impression of said parent. Now I know all of this was kind of a side conversation with the main point being an explanation of his bloodline which which also doesn't make sense because if father was a devil and mother was a Yokai there was no way he should have ever been normal in his first 15 years of life because these were two completely different species with totally different powers which means he should have had some type of Awakening or incident with said Powers (considering he's a hybrid) basically his bloodline is too special for him to be normal for those first 15 years of life which they didn't tell him anything about himself or the supernatural World which is reckless dangerous and neglectful considering how dangerous is. 3 the system was totally unnecessary there are literally tons of powers and ways especially considering his bloodline in the DxD world for him to grow stronger. Because of it you were forced to go on boring and unnecessary arcs to make the MC look cool and build his strength in an orthodox and weird way a0 consequence of limiting your story with a "system". DxD light novel has plenty of material for you to make a bunch of arcs with plenty of opportunities for character interaction and enough time for you to properly flesh his parents and his relationships with everyone else without making it look like the main character's personality is doing backflips because he went from being this absolutely normal **** into this trihard badass that he portrays himself to be( even with Sherlock's home intelligence no matter how hard you try you can't change a personality that you forged for 15 years in a single day just because a system awakened if he had trained and actually did some hard work in those 15 years it would be different because you forged a whole new personality from being reborn as a baby in an entirely new and dangerous world. another thing is your MC came off as a try hard because in every Ark he would have a recording device or Magic whichever playing with the characters in the background commenting on his every action and saying how they would never be as smart as him or be able to do the things he does which comes off as narcissistic and unrealistic of course the different factions would have anti spy Magic in all important strongholds otherwise wouldn't all their secrets B up for grabs for any opposing faction? again this comes back to the system of course they would never be able to do the things he does because the system he has brings powers from an entirely different different universes which makes no sense in this universe. The last thing being him talking and interacting with different characters from different universes and even considering bringing them into the DxD world which would be so cringe all in all it just looks like you didn't put enough thought and planning into this story which would make sense considering you were in the middle of of a entirely different story when you decided to pull this one out of the attic now I know all of this sounds like I'm bashing but what I'm trying to say is next time you do a fanfic about a story try to keep other universes out of it and do proper background story about the MC family so that is so that so that it doesn't sound like an ass pull. Good luck on your next story
Thanks for the hard work π Thanks for the hard work π Thanks for the hard work π Thanks for the hard work π Thanks for the hard work π Thanks for the hard work π
This is a good story, the mc aint some pussy, heβs smooth, heβs smart. The author doesnβt waste 100 years on the mc fucking people at 6 years old or some ****. To the dumbasses who say βheS a SlAvEβ you are a dumb ass, someone deciding to get some backing and doing whatever the **** he wants is a slave? Go get a fucking brain before you add a review dumbass
The author didnt make a very bad story its just that its really made to annoy people, the mc becomes a slave by his own will, the system is against him, his mother is a slut, his family has been hiding things from him and treating him like a pet to be raised and then released to the wild after growing up( because honestly in the supernatural world those that have no knowlege of how to defend themselves are just cattle for the strong), its really a wonder in how the mc could have died to the fallens and his parents didnt care a bit, or how he basically became a slave and his parents didnt warn him of the dangers, its really a wonder how he had a brother but he never got to know even a bit of him, or how he knew about the dificulty of the world and just waited for a system, i believe it sucks to be the mc and he doesnt really have a consistent personality, plus the story has a lot of things that can make it unpopular.
the reason the novel's ranking is more than 4 is because a lot of scoundrels gave it several times.............................................
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Great story keep up the excellent work and I can't wait for the next chapter usually really like the system you are using and have enjoyed reading this story
I like the story honestly, 10/10. But the addition of complicated background for the MC in the later chapter is a big let down for me. I like how he comes from a normal family more. Also, the story about the jungle king is really unnecessary. I don't say the jungle king bloodline unnecessary, but the unnecessary part is the story about the bloodline, The story about the jungle king. Okay, it needed to explain the bloodline, but could you make it less exaggerated?
Then comes the parents complicated backgrounds. I think the one from mother side is enough if you make the jungle king part simple enough and less exaggerated. But again, you add about father complicated side with "strange" Sona's sport's channel's commentator-like reaction, with long story explanation. I don't know, but it feels strange.
Well, it's just my opinion and there are chapters ahead that I haven't read yet. So I hope it doesn't degenerate and actually much better because I like the previous chapters of this story....
I wanted to give a lower grade than 1 star and the minimum to comment. I don't believe in moral that I wasted my time reading this I felt like throwing up this story that disgusted me!
Great story well written the pacing is desont and I like how the author fose research and trys there best to spice up the story and keep it original hope it stays going for awile
I didn't just read Chapter 1 and I know what the whole story is about.
MC: Delayed and Impusive, besides fanboy
and I'm not going to talk about the system because I honestly can't stand it
the novel has a decent grammar(I read some novels on mtl)
This type of novel is not for me only because of the protagonist and has nothing to do with dxd world. i like to read a good fanfic but i am not going to read something with a mc with the mental age of a 10 year old boy
sorry for my spelling i'm using google translator
Everyone complaining about being Sona's "Slave" is just bashing on the author's choice of story direction. Besides them tanking the rating due to him becoming a devil, there's not much else to complain about.
The System itself is interesting, he isn't brainlessly following Canon, his romance works, there is genuine humor, the grammar is one of the best in Fanfiction... Honestly, the story is great. Entertaining, the characters aren't developing at a snail's pace, Issei isn't in a constant Boob frenzy, Saji has been de-densified.
His original arcs are great (except for Kokobiel, everyone wants to get past that part. Kokobiel was really only there to make Vali look awesome in Canon. Kokobiel arcs suck in pretty much every Fanfiction. Kokobiel is just a waste of a character imo).
Basically, if you enjoy the world of DxD, it's a good read.
Retarded mc π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘π‘
I Really respect you. Because most chapters from other creators I read only post 1 thousand word chapters weakly but you post daily.
P.S. I am a psychopath you drop this and I will drop a piano on you.
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Hahahahaha what the heck... I thought I can stomach the mc for a little bit but I can't really go on... he is so stupi.. " ok my powers is bla bla bla..." "I am the cool guy bla bla bla..." "You are like this bla bla bla.... ugh really?
Ora ora ora ,harem ou ni, ore wa naru!
Ora ora ora ,harem ou ni, ore wa naru!
Ora ora ora ,harem ou ni, ore wa naru!
Ora ora ora ,harem ou ni, ore wa naru!
Ora ora ora ,harem ou ni, ore wa naru!
Ora ora ora ,harem ou ni, ore wa naru!
Jeremy_Sstendel