bcrow

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  • Tear a Path

    Tear a Path

    Fantasy System Apocalypse

    4.3

    The earth explodes in size, bringing with it great beauty and monstrosities. Wang Zhao Hui, a man singled out by the great cataclysm forges a road towards what he lost as the only trapper with a broken system (as in it doesn’t work) *Cover picture not mine *From google, just edited *https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fimage.shutterstock.com%2Fimage-photo%2Fhiker-silhouette-stand-on-cliff-260nw-538549126.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.shutterstock.com%2Fsearch%2Fsunset%2Bsilhouette%2Btrekking%3Fimage_type%3Dphoto&tbnid=CsvUOLqZh_3ilM&vet=1&docid=D7U3H1YoEP9_fM&w=347&h=280&hl=en-us&safe=strict&client=safari&ved=2ahUKEwiZ58609LvhAhUxTnwKHcpNAUEQMygAegQIARAa

Moments

Two more chaps, promise. View More

Iamvodkahawk: Bro lol I still feel like we aren’t going anywhere. The story isn’t progressing. How long does he have to mindlessly fight these primates and chapter by chapter get a tiny bit more resilient by getting ****ed up and sent to the pods. Sigh he was doing that before we had to read about ode and all the other stuff. Now back to repeated beatings and little dicks. He must be gonna grow a tail at the end of this and become Goku.

Tear a Path · C267
1 year ago
Thanks guys, I'm back and healthier than ever, will continue to avoid truck kun for the foreseeable future. View More
Tear a Path · C255
1 year ago
No worries man, I've been meaning to write on the MC, it's just that I'm also trying to beef up the character roster for future plots. Sorry if those parts weren't as interesting, I'll try to limit those chapters, but I do need to put a little of them around because there are plans for the future of this plot. Thanks for reading man, hope you continue to join me on this journey. View More

dandarious: Thank you author for taking my comment seriously and having some consecutive chapters with the MC :)

Tear a Path · C267
1 year ago
Yeah dude, hey thanks for commenting so far @Iamvodkahawk. I've been seeing your comments and several others and it's always nice to know that someone's reading, sorry if sometimes my quality goes up and down and maybe some of the plot choices are not to your liking. And I'm always thankful for your support man. View More
Tear a Path · C266
1 year ago
Hey man, yeah I’m working on it, just that my cover designing skills aren’t up to par yet, sorry for missing chapters, I felt this arc wasn’t up to par for quality so spent yesterday trying to edit View More

GRoy: think about changing the cover. a lot of ppl are complaining about it.

Tear a Path
1 year ago
Thanks mate, really needed to talk to somebody View More

BER5ERK: To be fair though you retconning the whole arc is a good idea since if new readers read the fixed arc they won't get turned off by it and possibly drop your light novel and your improving the story so it's definitely something to consider good luck deciding fam ;) hope you sleep well bro

Tear a Path · C176
1 year ago
Hey man, you’ve been one of my longest readers. And I just need to ask, I’m considering retconning the whole arc around 20-30 chapters back. I feel like my last few chapters were extremely bad and I just wanted a reader’s opinion on this. View More

BER5ERK: I like this novel but l feel like your cramming in too much detail and less of the characters first initial humouring thoughts just my opinion though continue what you want to do author I still like the premise of the story 👌

Tear a Path · C176
1 year ago
Yeah man, I think these several chapters I’ve been rushing through the story too much. So the content has become unbalanced, gonna try fix that View More

BER5ERK: I like this novel but l feel like your cramming in too much detail and less of the characters first initial humouring thoughts just my opinion though continue what you want to do author I still like the premise of the story 👌

Tear a Path · C176
1 year ago
Thanks for the support man, 😭😭😭😭, the fact that my readers are fighting for this book makes everything worthwhile View More

GRoy: Why da fak is this story only rank #133 ?
I really admire the Author. He gives us at least one ch , no matter what. Hat down for you.
It seems i need to promote this novel on forum and discord....

Tear a Path · C176
1 year ago
Thanks for the concern, I’ll be fine if I do it short term. View More

BER5ERK: It's been a while since his trap powers have been mentioned hope to see more development and training for it. Also thxs for the 3 chapters just hope your body is like alright cause that may be unhealthy unless your able to write extremely fast

Tear a Path · C163
1 year ago
Thanks for the advice. I am currently going through old chapters to edit them but it’s going pretty slow as I write alone for now and don’t have a proof reader. Also I’m working until late so usually I finish my chapter between lunch and toilet breaks on my phone or at night between 10-12 and just try to get a head start on tomorrow’s chapter before sleeping for tomorrow’s day of work. At this point I truly can only apologize for my inability to meet your standards for now as I am really trying my hardest. As for Panda, please keep in mind that this is a fantasy story, I may not have gone in depth into how she knew, but it doesn’t have to be because she had prior knowledge on the human body, there are any number of ways that the change can allow her to locate his heart. For example, she might be able to sense the vibration, or enhanced hearing may allow her to hear his heartbeat, parts of which I haven’t delved into about her. View More

Peaches: I tried to like this story but it was a struggle to read. In many instances there were missing words or improper grammar. The author really needs an editor and to proofread their work. Many of the sentences feel unsophisticated and drawn out (as in, the wording is ******, and using more words than necessary.) Many sentences can be written to be more concise, impactful, and meaningful, delivering the same amount, if not more information in a way that is more enjoyable to read (as in better word flow). A good way to improve in this area is to write a few sentences, then see how many different ways you can rewrite it while portraying the same information. Sometimes just simply rearranging words will make it many times more pleasant to read.

This may increase the amount of time it takes you to put out chapters, but any author whom loves their own work wont mind putting in the extra effort to improve its quality.

Example - a random piece of paragraph from Ch.12)
"Zhao Wei couldn't continue watching any longer as he could see that the horn was slowly being inched out with every kick. Problem was even if he wanted to kill or capture it, he didn't dare come near it as he was sure he wasn't rocky balboa and wouldn't get back up after the first hit. Secondly, he felt what it's fur felt like, although it looked fluffy it was tough as steel." (73 words)

After rewriting)
"Zhao Wei realized he could no longer stay idle, the bunny’s every kick freed its horn inch by inch. But he was faced with a dilemma; he was no Rocky Balboa, one hit and it was lights-out for him. Secondly, though soft and fluffy in appearance, he had felt the bunny’s fur was as tough as steel." (57 words - and what i feel is a much smoother word flow)

Another problem i had with this story was, some things were just unrealistic, even for a fantasy/post apoc setting. Shoving ones foot into burning ash will not help the healing process of wounds on the foot, instead you'll get burns that'll become open wounds and fester with infections. Fresh ash may be sterile, but id never suggest it be used in place of clean bandaging, even if you didn't have any, using hot ash in this case would only make things ten times worse. Now his hands are burnt, his torso wounds are burnt, and his feet are burnt. In a more realistic fashion, the story would end there, he would be royally f**ked.

Next problem, and the one that left me rolling my eyes and moving on from the story is the rabbit somehow knowing where the human heart is. For it to know applying chest compressions (safely i might add - given its strength) could stimulate the heart into beating was just silly, even for a supernaturally strong rabbit that can apparently damage a tree that's as hard as iron. (There's also little reason for it to do so, given it was captured by the guy just prior. If i were the rabbit, id have probably just let the fool croak.) Despite the fact that it shows human-like intelligence in the following chapter (Which i only read partially through before stopping) that should not mean knowledge of human-related things.

Things that happen within a novel need to be at least somewhat believable within the scope of their genre. I wont be reading the rest of the story, but i hope the novel tones down such things in future chapters. :)

Tear a Path
1 year ago
Maybe I’ll try to learn photoshop or something View More

Mistborn: Your novels definitely superior to 95% of the other stuff here . My advice though is to change the cover photo into something more colorful. I know it’s a superficial change but often times a good cover can do half the trick when attracting new readers

Tear a Path · C142
1 year ago
I don’t know how to make covers, my last one was a pencil drawing View More

Mistborn: Your novels definitely superior to 95% of the other stuff here . My advice though is to change the cover photo into something more colorful. I know it’s a superficial change but often times a good cover can do half the trick when attracting new readers

Tear a Path · C142
1 year ago
Just kidding dude, thanks for the support View More

XThreeKing: XD ive commented quite a few times i just do it in unexpected places it seems

Tear a Path · C139
1 year ago
So what you’re saying is I haven’t done well at all...😔😔😔😔😔 View More

XThreeKing: I just dont comment often but i try to give some feedback when i think something is done really well or someone asks for opinions or advice

Tear a Path · C139
1 year ago
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 View More

BER5ERK: Thxs for the hard work also enjoying the flashbacks 👌

Tear a Path · C142
1 year ago
Thank you!!! I thought everyone forgot about me!!! Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry whatever it is. View More

BER5ERK: Thxs for the hard work also enjoying the flashbacks 👌

Tear a Path · C142
1 year ago
Thanks for the advice, I am going to look into it one by one, but of course that’s going to take a bit of time. Will inform you guys which chapter I’m editing out with the new chapters View More

Throgar: Bcrow,
I would advise deleting the whole 7 something chapter backstory you have for minor characters. As a rule of thumb never have more of a backstory for something/someone then you did your MC. The next thing I would recommend is if your looking to break up your story line for the MC, write a one chapter glimpse into the lives of the people you introduced in the beginning. I understand that your keeping mum on MCs girl but there where other people in the house with them. I assume you introduced them because you plan on them meeting each other again in the future. It's a good way of keeping the reader invested in your characters if while your MC is doing something that takes up a bunch of time, (The first two weeks the MC trained up in the house, MC walking in the desert, MC stuck in the three day energy ****) you slip that chapter in about the others. For real, take out the unnecessary chapters about the history of the minor characters that we as the reader don't care about though.
Oh, my last piece of advise is this. MCs should always loot their kills. Nothing irritates me faster than people running around with nice loot and the MC just leaves it there after a fight. Bah!
Well good luck with your books and I hope to read more soon. I hope this helped.

Tear a Path · C139
1 year ago
Anyway thanks for reading View More

XThreeKing: remember if you do change anything to tell us so we can know

Tear a Path · C139
1 year ago
Will do, haven’t seen you around in the comments section. Or maybe I missed it View More

XThreeKing: remember if you do change anything to tell us so we can know

Tear a Path · C139
1 year ago

matt00011: He used his prisoner braces to absorb her attack!!!

Tear a Path · C128
1 year ago
Well, every character has their use, be it now or later. Each and every one has their time, to cut off their journey midway would be quite a shame as they may have a greater purpose ahead. View More

Hellfire_Dragon: Lol.. they were Friends before when they first met then enemies now because Eyisha is Immature and Stupid.. plus there was a chapter that MC will make an almanac and Eyisha complains about the unfitting name on 1 of the monsters.. did you even read that part?? I can still remember it as if I read it yesterday..

Tear a Path · C127
1 year ago
Sorry you feel that way, but I hope you’d stick around for about 5/6 chapters to allow me to atleast finish this arc, either way I think it’s a shame to go this far and drop it near the arc’s end. But if you do decide to do so I can only thank you for staying with me for so long and apologize that my writing could not satisfy you. View More

ShEsHy: There's a difference between immature & stupid and sending assassins & declaring a nation-wide manhunt for a "friend". Not to mention how she tortured her other "friend", who I'd argue is more of a friend to the MC than her.
I probably forgot it, since I really, really dislike seeing future events spoiled, regardless of how irrelevant they seem to be. That, and I'm reading like 50+ novels at the same time.

Anyways, thanks for the reply, looks like this will be the first original novel here that I'm going to stop reading for a reason other than it being dropped by the author.

Tear a Path · C127
1 year ago
Give me the chapter I’ll retcon it if that’s true View More

Mistborn: I thought Myra couldn’t absorb living things. Guess she upgraded?

Tear a Path · C125
1 year ago
Have seen the paths, why’s it one lose interest while the rest is die? Well I guess it’s effective, but you’re one scary person I don’t think anyone should ever mess with you. If you’re a girl, I pray no other woman ever tries mess with your man😨😨😨😨😨😨 View More

ShadowMoonDragon: It's all good I really enjoy where you're taking the story so far also another suggestion for kitsi or for any girl really if you don't want a harem I think there are 3 routes you can take but personally i'm fine eith harems also his gf from the beginning seems the type to forgive him and tease him for having one but anyways the 3 BEST methods are 1 kill her off, 2 have her lose interest or ask him in a dodgey way if he has a lover they have a deep convo bam lost interest, or 3 have the race part ways with him like the monkey tribe or die off in battle with jormundre(Yeah i know i butchered it's name but typing ANYTHING on **4 is a hassle XD )

Tear a Path
1 year ago
Not a safe bet, they’ve had wars with humans. She’d get a powerful ally but limit her support in her own circle View More

Dvaita: Why would she go after him? She's aware of how strong he is, why not recruit him

Tear a Path · C105
1 year ago
Will do, one of these days I’ll put in a page just to catagorize them. View More
Tear a Path · C103
1 year ago
Yeah, I’m not always on my laptop so I try to do it on my phone as I’m usually working in the day and I do it on my commutes View More

Dvaita: No matter how much the nerdy fluctuated....
I think you're using a phone to type, because phones often used autocorrect for energy and nerdy interchangeably.

Tear a Path · C81
1 year ago
Even the wise get blinded by their heart View More

Dvaita: Supposedly a wise general actually believes the enemy. Sheeesh

Tear a Path · C77
1 year ago
Honestly quite new to this and not sure webnovel is going to give me a contract. View More

Dvaita: I think this is a good move author. But unfortunately, the warped ranking system of webnovel focuses on update frequency than honest feedback and solid critique for improvement. I suggest you dual-host it on RoyalRoad and topwebfiction unless you're aiming for a contract or so with Webnovel.

Those two sides see a wider audience for readership and enable getting feedback easier

Tear a Path · C74
1 year ago
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