Webnovel Author: Plum_Garden - Novel Collection

Plum_Garden

3yr

Commented

once upon a time, in another world line...

Han Su-Yeong clenched and unfurled her fist currently enveloped in [Black Flame] and spoke up. "....I can't figure out why this feels like it's been a really long time."

Plum_Garden

3yr

Commented

I recommend editing it a second time. there is at least one error every other paragraph :)

This chapter has been deleted.

Plum_Garden

3yr

Commented

question words like "when" should be paired with a question mark at the end of the phrase.

This chapter has been deleted.

Plum_Garden

3yr

Commented

second sentence is a fragment missing a subject.

This chapter has been deleted.

Plum_Garden

3yr

Commented

last sentence is a sentence fragment, you started with "while", so after that phrase, add a comma and then a second phrase to complete the thought.

This chapter has been deleted.

Plum_Garden

3yr

Commented

check ur verb tenses here. "outcasted" and such. The use of orchestrated may be incorrect here without proper context.

This chapter has been deleted.

Plum_Garden

3yr

Commented

when you have dialogue that ends in a period, the next sentence should be a new paragraph.

This chapter has been deleted.

Plum_Garden

3yr

Commented

At some point in the marriage, you just accept everything your husband does...

Even though I was looking at a guy completely, utterly trashing my plan to bits, for some reason I didn't get angry.

Plum_Garden

3yr

Commented

oh my god that's halfway to hand holding

Yu Jung-Hyeok was holding my right wrist with enough force to pop it like a balloon while feeling for my pulse. Now that I thought about it, this guy possessed the next best medical skills after Yi Seol-Hwa in our group.

Omniscient Reader

Urban · 싱숑

Plum_Garden

3yr

Commented

what a tsundere

"....It's not that bad, I suppose."

Omniscient Reader

Urban · 싱숑

Plum_Garden

3yr

Commented

cooking for the wife?

"81st turn is in charge of cooking. His swordsmanship might be lacking, but he's quite talented when it comes to making food. Look forward to it."

Omniscient Reader

Urban · 싱숑

Plum_Garden

3yr

Commented

let go of wifey! double husband battle for KDJ?!

"Shut up, and let go of him. Or else...."

Omniscient Reader

Urban · 싱숑

Plum_Garden

3yr

Commented

TIME FOR SOME LOVIN' MCLOVIN' OLDER BROTHER ;D

Yup, this guy was going to experience severe difficulties pretty soon; according to Ricardo's memories, the original setting for the First Prince was 'loving and warm-hearted big brother', that was why.

Omniscient Reader

Urban · 싱숑

Plum_Garden

3yr

Commented

does it have the same effect as calling him Oppa?

I finished preparing myself and opened my lips. "Older brother."

Omniscient Reader

Urban · 싱숑

Plum_Garden

3yr

Commented

protect the wife!!

Arrows flew past Kim Dok-Ja's head with barely any room to spare; some of them even accurately fell towards his back, but the First Prince quickly swung his sword to deflect them all.

Omniscient Reader

Urban · 싱숑

Plum_Garden

3yr

Commented

protect the wife!!

Arrows flew past Kim Dok-Ja's head with barely any room to spare; some of them even accurately fell towards his back, but the First Prince quickly swung his sword to deflect them all.

Omniscient Reader

Urban · 싱숑

Plum_Garden

3yr

Commented

being stared at by a Loli demon

Its inside was like a thick, sticky swamp. Listening to the private thoughts of a being looking back at me with a pair of quietly withdrawn eyes was making me feel rather uncomfortable.