• Joined Jan 2019
  • Indonesia
  • Male
  • Show me your novel if you want a harsh yet truth review.

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    Published more than 10000 words on Webnovel

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    Checked in for a total of 180 days

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Original Works

  • Living With System

    Living With System

    others

    Haven't make it yet Note : I don't own any character or anime that i wrote inside of this. their original creator has it Also Note : I write this in my spare time of collage so maybe i cant update it regularly. But, I won't Drop it. in case i drop the novel it was maybe it because i make a new novel.

  • Review Of Some Fanfic

    Review Of Some Fanfic

    others

    This book is my review about some fanfic novel that i read. Maybe there will some of you that disagree with me. But, i write this book purely just to make a review there is no harm intended in the making of this review. Nothing more.

Moments

Madara dont have eye though View More

Nirvanic_Sun: If edo tensei can give itachi his eyes back WHILE sasuke is still using them, I would look down on the sage of the six paths for getting surpassed by a tranny if his ressurection needed a full corpse. Just say something like 'the lifeforce used made the dna replicate until the body was whole'

The White Demon Fox · C28
7 minutes ago
Instead of multiplication why not using percentage? Mor easy to use and balance View More

TheHiddenSword: Actually, at level 300 everyone has something called berserk spells or abilities, but I guess it is broken if these transformations are permanent. If I make them use a lot of energy, making them dependant on energy, I think it would be not broken

The Dragon And His Priestresses · C0
18 hours ago
There is, bleached universe if i remember or maybe not? Kind of forget. Kokabiel pictured as an angel who fell because his love for humanity. And the one who slay him is arturia, and after he died he become a noble phantasm. View More

PaperCrow: ooooh havent seen a fic where kokabiel wasnt just a straight psycho

Allen Walker in DxD [Highschool dxd Fan-fiction] · C43
22 hours ago
And, that is when the bull**** went overboard View More

I_love_Rem: I am sorry but I already mentioned that he can control it on atomic level and cellular level is a piece of cake for him......During Holy Sword Project.....

Reborn in DxD with OP Barrier and Enhancement Magic · C16
2 days ago
They are complaining about asia bcs she is too gullible. That, for me not too bad. But, rias is plain stupid View More

I_love_Rem: Whoa...Looks like you hate Rias to the core.....I think this is first time I saw someone hate Rias....Usually I see most people complaining about Asia.....

Reborn in DxD with OP Barrier and Enhancement Magic · C16
3 days ago
Addendum 4 : possible idea you can create a staff similar with the one that little frog from naruto use to dispel the natural energy when naruto learning to use senjutsu. View More

I_love_Rem: Whoa...Looks like you hate Rias to the core.....I think this is first time I saw someone hate Rias....Usually I see most people complaining about Asia.....

Reborn in DxD with OP Barrier and Enhancement Magic · C16
3 days ago
Addendum 3 : special case of NP [Rule Breaker]
There are 3 ways how rule breaker can affect the evil piece.
1. Destroying the pact, the contract or whatever you want to call it. Making the piece can be taken from the body, but the person itself is still a devil.
2. Similar to number 1 but it reverse the body making it become human again instead of devil (which i don't know how the **** to do that or explain it)
3. Similar to number 2 but instead of reversing, it was erasing or purifying the devil element inside of the body ( which once again i don't know how the **** to do it. Not explain it) i mean, erasing is quite possible but purify ing is plain torture. View More

I_love_Rem: Whoa...Looks like you hate Rias to the core.....I think this is first time I saw someone hate Rias....Usually I see most people complaining about Asia.....

Reborn in DxD with OP Barrier and Enhancement Magic · C16
3 days ago
Addendum 2 : as for how to separate evil piece from the body. We must first know, why the devil is dead after taking the evil piece from their body. And that is mean we back again with the 1st point about how evil piece change the body structure. It was quite weird but i think there is stuff like essence or something like that which affect or maybe placed on the cell inside of body. So when it was taken, quite possibly rupturing the cell on body, making every cell suffering critical injury. So, to separate it you need a very OP control of your barrier so it can effect the cell. View More

I_love_Rem: Whoa...Looks like you hate Rias to the core.....I think this is first time I saw someone hate Rias....Usually I see most people complaining about Asia.....

Reborn in DxD with OP Barrier and Enhancement Magic · C16
3 days ago
Addition : Evil Piece is a slavery. You are saying there will be no stray devil if evil piece isn't a slavery but let me ask you. Why... In the first place, they are betrying their king? Don't you say that because they are drunk in power. Because you have kuroka as an example. And don't you say she is special case. Becase there is no bloody chance only one case will ever present in the fucking world. View More

I_love_Rem: Whoa...Looks like you hate Rias to the core.....I think this is first time I saw someone hate Rias....Usually I see most people complaining about Asia.....

Reborn in DxD with OP Barrier and Enhancement Magic · C16
3 days ago
5. Plot expansion
This is also quite crucial stuff while writing a novel. First of all we need to do world building, and inside of it. We need to put the last boss. So, don't you fucking put another world stuff inside of DxD . Please, what is the use of great red if you do that? For example you can see what solare do. He just dump, a fucking another plane enemy. And i just dont fucking understand why he do that. He just destroying the balance by doing that. Though i know it was because he out of villains for his books. View More

I_love_Rem: Whoa...Looks like you hate Rias to the core.....I think this is first time I saw someone hate Rias....Usually I see most people complaining about Asia.....

Reborn in DxD with OP Barrier and Enhancement Magic · C16
3 days ago
4. Rias peerage and MC
This is almost the main problem of every DxD fic where the author dont have a sufficient imagination and where they write stuff stick to the plot.
They just put the MC into rias peerage and write the plot a fucking similar with the canon with the MC as an extra. I mean, wtf dude. Can you be more creative? I myself already creating my own plot, where my MC is a teacher on their academy so while i can join the canon, i can also just watching. View More

I_love_Rem: Whoa...Looks like you hate Rias to the core.....I think this is first time I saw someone hate Rias....Usually I see most people complaining about Asia.....

Reborn in DxD with OP Barrier and Enhancement Magic · C16
3 days ago
3. Peerage and Slavery
You can say that Rias treat her peerage not like a slave. It was just a say, but on practice it was different. As you can see on kiba arc, she just *****ing and din't even helping until late. Alright thats not the real point.
So, we know that in devil society, there is a caste. High devil and so on. While you can say that peerage is a way for the devil to increase their number. Peerage system also quite direct and indirect slavery.
And even if rias didn't think it was slavery. But the way she do stuff. Was indeed a slavery.
Like she is flaunting "i am your king so listen to me" View More

I_love_Rem: Whoa...Looks like you hate Rias to the core.....I think this is first time I saw someone hate Rias....Usually I see most people complaining about Asia.....

Reborn in DxD with OP Barrier and Enhancement Magic · C16
3 days ago
2. The plot and system quest
While you can just shoving a quest making the mc saving other girls and stuff. It was a bad idea to try to stick with the plot if what you do is diverging from the plot in the first place. So you must take a responsibility. So, if you dont i suggest rewrite this book and don't touch the world background on the first place. If you stick with the plot, then there is no use for this book written. We can just read other books. Or even read the original book. View More

I_love_Rem: Whoa...Looks like you hate Rias to the core.....I think this is first time I saw someone hate Rias....Usually I see most people complaining about Asia.....

Reborn in DxD with OP Barrier and Enhancement Magic · C16
3 days ago
Alright. Let me tell you what i am thinking.
1. The barrier magic and evil piece
The way evil piece work on body is by changing the person inner body from other species to a devil. How? It is not just putting it and boom. Everything is done. We can assume it like a tea or a medicine. Where the medicine when contact with water will dillute. While tea will, kind of leaking something like mana or whatever you want to think about.
What is the point? The point is if we look the water as a body the it was almost impossible to separate it. And if you put a barrier around the piece. Then there is no use, because it didnt make contact with the body. So it can't change the body structure. Need to remind you that a king can detect other piece so she can know if the stuff is installed or not View More

I_love_Rem: Whoa...Looks like you hate Rias to the core.....I think this is first time I saw someone hate Rias....Usually I see most people complaining about Asia.....

Reborn in DxD with OP Barrier and Enhancement Magic · C16
3 days ago
Dejavu View More

Dangeroustoxin: I have a feeling that the last chapter and this chapter are similar to another fan fic I read before hm....

ZORO in HSDxD · C20
4 days ago
For a muslim the max number is 4. View More

Choco_Monster: The plan is simple but it will work. He just needs to go to Muslim countries or was it India?? Then he can marry all his girl's 😆😆😆

Juvenile Entertainer · C108
1 week ago

Ero_Usagi: Yosh... Lets cultivate the ahoge and crossbreed them with ahegao.

The Wish of the Dragon · C80
1 week ago
You do know there is saying "humping like rabbit" right? Lol View More

ABitterDay: probably already did, i doubt a forest has hundred of rabbits for mc to slaughter and still have more. think he pretty much killed like 300 rabbits in these past 3 chapters by himself

Golden Fox with System · C3
1 week ago
Not to be a jerk. But you can use another editing and reducing the word "I" to make the paragraph more beatiful. View More
Versatile: Alternate World · C32
1 week ago
I am so proud of you View More
Bang Dream! My New Life Story · C33
2 weeks ago
Good job author. View More
Bang Dream! My New Life Story · C33
2 weeks ago
Did you ever watch ****?
How about you watch now just half. Watch the other half tomorrow how its feel?
So now, get your ass and go write the chapter. If you want to post 18+ chapter. Do it in 1 chapter or do a mass release. I don't say this because i like 18+ chapter. I dont even care.
And i bloody sure that i lost my feeling to read this books if the next chapter is a continuation of this 18+ chapter. Which is its mean another 18+ chapter. View More

grend: Sorry XD... will taking it to note for the next one

Bang Dream! My New Life Story · C32
2 weeks ago
And that is why i never stick my dick in crazy. View More
A Returnee Wants to Play VRMMO · C61
2 weeks ago
In noodle eggs isn't the main ingredient. Inside of noodle the main factor is wht type of flour used. View More

DragonkingKyo: yeah but the eggs are the main ingredient so it should have counted

Prince of Cooking · C13
2 weeks ago
Can you stop using acronym for the spirit name? It was confusing View More
Douluo Dalu: 9 Treasure Sword · C15
2 weeks ago
I guess call of duty mobile? View More

Lost_Reborn: Name of the game please.

Prince of Cooking · C14
2 weeks ago
Grand order and become no star servant :v View More
Fate/Inheritance · C97
2 weeks ago
Its still bugging me is he a reincarnator or not. Because the way you doing this stuff is just like dumping whatever **** you want. And it wasn't a good **** i told you. You can't just put a stuff from other franchise without reason, and basically what you did is destroying the world rule. The plot itself is good but the other stuff is making this books looks like written by an author who do self insert and fucking dumping every op power to his character. View More
Death Dragon Emperor Douluo(Douluo Dalu II) · C14
2 weeks ago
Ugh... Will he always be more than 2m? View More

Vallori: Old wrinkly man x Boa.... Has it ever been done before??? Will i be the first??? Stay tuned to find out.... hmmmm... ;)

A New Path · C10
2 weeks ago
Looking at his power, he cant be said as fire pagoda sword douluo. Because his configuration is like a leech typr View More
Douluo Dalu: 9 Treasure Sword · C13
2 weeks ago
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