- 0 d Continuous Writing
- 1.3 h of Reading
- 70 Read books
lilGoat
LV 2Badges 5
Moments 64
3yr
Commented I'll be like Assu and just spam a gif of support
ch 0 4 ravine, on the move
Moon Theory (BL)
LGBT+ · yiyuehua
3yr
Commented I feel like you have a tendency to over-describe some things (I do that a lot too tbh). But I thought this last two lines were a good example, because it sometimes bogs down the flow of your writing.
You used around 2 sentences to say her frame is strong, or not meek/not frail. Is this detail that important to emphasis with so many words? I feel like it could be done effectively with a single word.
I would dedicate two sentences to describe more important details.
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Moon Theory (BL)
LGBT+ · yiyuehua
3yr
Commented SLICKED!!
I can't with this word!!!
You know this phenomenon when something has been pointed out to you and you suddenly see it EVERYWHERE? O_O
This word...Not just in your works but just in general...
I can't...
The door bangs open. The man who enters has midnight black hair and a startling pair of cold, black eyes. He dons a green combat shirt slicked with sweat and blood. He blocks the exit, and no one dares to get past him.
Moon Theory (BL)
LGBT+ · yiyuehua
3yr
Replied to Aryna_Stan Lol, I'm glad you enjoyed the play I wrote XD
It was really fun, I like rhyming so much. ;3
And he's not exactly allergic to wine, alcohol is a poison so a regenerating body won't let poison effect him XD
I went a little sciencey with it ^^"
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Fantasy · lilGoat
3yr
Replied to Aryna_Stan I'm glad you enjoyed some of the insight into his character :3
Thanks for all the support <3
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Fantasy · lilGoat
3yr
Replied to Aryna_Stan Well, this chapter mostly served to show some backstory and that he's humoring Lev more. I hope the next few of his POV shine a little bit more light on his character. Altho, grumpy kitty is pretty good.
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Fantasy · lilGoat
3yr
Replied to Aryna_Stan They're so pretty aren't they??! I'm very pleased with my spontaneous purchase :D
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Fantasy · lilGoat
3yr
Replied to Aryna_Stan I feel like I'm gonna steal the nickname "confused bean" and use it for Lev at some point. XD
I hope you don't mind, but if you ever see it appear in the book know it's yours, lol.
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Fantasy · lilGoat
3yr
Replied to Aryna_Stan I'm glad you enjoyed it. The spiritualism in these chapters is based more on Kabbalah (aka Language of Branches) than the Bible, so I was wondering if it won't be too jarring for readers.
Thank you for the support! ٩(♡ε♡ )۶
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Fantasy · lilGoat
3yr
Replied to Aryna_Stan Thank you for the support! I like your new avi very cute photo -^.^-
Also, if you haven't had the chance to reread the rewritten first chapter, I will hint that it would be good to do so before next Monday! ;]
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Fantasy · lilGoat
lilGoat
Moon Theory (BL)
LGBT+ · yiyuehua