GeneralDeFartos_L - Profile

A clumsy attempt at writing a novel. Don't get me wrong, I liked the concept and I've been waiting for it to get more chapters before reading, but now that I've read about 50 chapters I'm just disappointed and dissatisfied. It has a unique interesting idea and throughout the story you can see what the author wanted to characters to be like. (Like how MC can do things impossible to do with qi cultivation or how a green haired mommy is a playful sugar mommy) The main problem with this story: 1- Exposition is not done properly. Author doesn't know what to give more information about and what to skip. Noah basically has no personality here while his previous body owner has a set personality, or how author kept using flashbacks at the start, or how we have no info on the Mage god Noah, or how we got too many useless info about irrelevant things. this is mainly cuz author doesn't know how to properly show us what he wants us to see. 2- Characters have messed up personalities. It feels like author just wants to add scenes he read in other works and wanted to have them attached to certain characters. (Noah is supposedly ruthless but acts kind to who he wants to. But here everytime he acts he's either flirty or teasing and when he has his moments it's not that cool, It just doesn't reflect an old man who's filled with wisdom.) (There's also mommy, she's supposedly mature, but she got over her sons death and gets blushing by Noah from day 1, there's no development, she's still getting over her loss, why would she feel a tingle in her heart just from some kindness? She's not naive, she's mature. So it doesn't make sense.) The relationship and feelings they feels towards each other just feel forced. 3- Author is dragging out what could be over and done long ago. He's adding new enemies just for the sake of it. A lot of elements here are pointless and don't add to the story. Dear author, think thoroughly before adding pointless drama and pointless info, would any of this be relevant after 30~60 chapters? I think not. It's just for added drama, but that just makes it as boring and cliche as other cultivation works.

Read till chapter 32. I'm disappointed and dissatisfied. I saved this story in my library since it first came out (only had about 15 chapters at the time). why? Because I liked the idea of a faithful power couple that are op with a nice dynamic. Now I finally figured it's time to read it, but I'm disappointed. MC is not even MCing, he's basically a sidekick and is boring, I'd love a twisted mc which was portrayed at the start but after 10 chapters he's pathetic. His decisions aren't that bright, and some events just made me want to quit. [Example spoiler: when he gets a free wish in the roulette, I thought he was gon ask for something long lasting that will be a cornerstone for his strength like a growth type skill or a useful talent, something like Regeneration or siphon or something, But no, he asks for a stupid one time use doll that takes a fatal injury in his place! stupid choice] Harem really made me not even want to read the story, cuz it took away the only reason I decided to save it in my library (power couple), but I gave it chance thinking that it will happen later on. But, it's only been a few chapters and I can tell that author is setting up mc to be together with mama Isabella. Seriously author? I believed you in your review that there's a reason, but now it just feels like you'll force a reason to make a harem possible. and her kid is always sleeping just to avoid having to deal with him? Finally, the plot is fast paced, but it feels like we're not going anywhere.

dropped at chapter 7

Author, don't delete this review because of low rating. (your work has major shortcomings, accept it) English bad. Writing is confusing. In each chapter there's paragraphs that feel out of place or not belonging there or simply not completed. Sentences inside paragraphs are not coherent, example: first sentence about relevant topic then some random unrelated info then goes back to the relevant topic. Also, author switches inner monologue format style often so it's confusing. the story is all over the place, pacing is bad, world setting not explained, characters not explored. Author, we can't read your mind. This story needs quality proofreading and a redo.

Update: I reached chapter 252 and now I'm dropping this story. Main problem is the romance. The relationship between mc and male lead is super forced + male lead is the type I hate. Male lead is the exact template of every other CEO type. All status and no personality. author, why force mc to like him? male lead gets angry when mc does certain things and gets jealous when mc doesn't give him attention, but when its looked at from mc's pov, he's just someone she was forced to marry, and she didn't care for him, all interactions between them were not positive, so by what right should the male lead get jealous or angry? and the worse part is that the mc is falling for him for no reason. Spoiler: the relationship between mc and elf lady is natural and was built step by step, I actually enjoy their interactions and wouldn't mind them getting into a relationship. But the male lead is just annoying, it feels like he's just here as a trophy (the big strong dominant baddie). MC is not weak, she doesn't need him nor was there any development between them, so why force their relationship into love? this is just stupid. and don't get me started on that scene where he gets jealous and uses a spell while she sleeps and he gets to do all kinds of stuff to her in her dream, just a huge red flag. and worse yet is that she blushes and likes it? that's just hella forced. by the way, the male lead does things like: - doesn't care about mc at the start - she does something and he goes "interesting, you caught my attention" - he stalks her after getting interested - gets jealous and petty over things he has no right to get jealous over - gives her a ring out of nowhere (as a sign of love) when there wasn't any development between them (simply delusional) I bet that in the later chapters he will see her naked or gets angry that she did something and then say "you tempted me, so bare the consequences" and then will rape her and she would develop more feelings for him.

Read till 130 and still going. I love the story so far. amazing characters and progress is good. I'll continue reading, but the ROMANCE I don't appreciate, if there's romance then add it in the tag, if not then we're good. I just sense that author wants to pair mc with crown prince, and every time there's a scene with crown prince I just cringe real hard. I don't and absolutely can't approve this relationship if it will ever happen. Crown prince is basically like every and any CEO in any manhua, stuck up with no personality and just money and status. I'd rather have mc in relationship with her dog rather than crown prince. Their interactions are not comedy, just cringe inducing.

Disclaimer: Just read till chapter 22. I gave it a chance and gave up, it was boring, the main problems: Author drags out the plot too much and writes every detail when it's redundant (author, just ask yourself this when writing, if the reader didn't read this paragraph or chapter, will it affect reading experience and plot progression?). Second problem is the story being overused (student otherworlders, save the world, overall plot progression) you didn't give me enough reason to stay with the story. Lastly, this just feels like a kiddo story, like it's directed at middle schoolers, shounen. Mainly because the characters are about 16 and the story portrayed them as adults (their thinking and choices and all that) the mc always thinks critically, Blondie leader, and others just act above their age. (Hallmark of shounen is making kiddos appear more than what they are.

I read till chapter 308. I gave the story enough chances to improve but I'm done. First is the writing, a lot of redundant information or paragraphs, example: two events with intertwined result happen at the same time and author covers one event first, which is all good, but author after finishing one side, he goes into detail about the other event. This brings me to the second point, too long and too slow, author takes chapters to cover events and repeats things a lot while the progression of the story is atrocious. MC and other characters are all right but they don't feel real, author just keeps repeating "his indifferent red eyes" that it just feels like author wants to force a characteristic to MC even though it's clear that he's indifferent, no need to reiterate a million times. Another point is how childish this story is, and I mean by that is the problems that occur are not thought through properly, it just feels like author got it on the spot and wrote it, which caused loopholes.

I'm hooked. I love it. Characters are great and story is smooth. I love the dynamic here. and best of all is no harem. just sweet Alicia is enough.

I'm impressed. my first impression was bad, but then i fell for the story. - From beginning to the start of the academy, is boring as stated in the cons below. - From the start of the academy and beyond it gets better, and you're only left with the character being dense and foolish (I didn't find fault with it). - From chapter 55 or so it gets better overall and character personality is clear and better, and everything picks up. Pros: - great writing quality, with direct and to the point writing style. - great story progression overall, after the first boring chapters I just binged through it all till chapter 290. - Characters are well written. - I liked the direction of the story and where it's heading. Cons: - First off, the first 10 or so chapters are beyond boring, as in the writing itself is boring. very limited interaction between characters and info is spoon-fed to us, (example, the relationship between mc and his master, i never felt the weight of their bond and thought mc didn't care, but later on it turns out he cares deeply). - Too direct and reveals are sudden with no build up. it happened many times where secrets are just suddenly revealed. [SPOILER EXAMPLE: the first direct reveal that i found underwhelming is when ivika revealed mc's secret just like that as if nothing happened, even if that scene was planned to be direct, I'd rather have a build up, cuz I hated ivika from this moment, but then i started to like her] - Long fights when it's not needed, or long arcs when it's not needed. this became apparent in the tournament arc, from chapter 300 to chapter 380 just for a tournament is crazy. It doesn't add anything to the story to have all that detail with each match detailed and having multiple chapters to cover each round, it felt like a filler. i skimmed through it. - MC should be calculative and cunning, and while i can see that but it's only shown when he's dealing with his harem. I don't see any noteworthy strategies when he dealt with anything outside his harem. he just plans like any normal mc.

A novel heavily inspired by The Author's Pov. The settings are almost the same. It's an enjoyable read at the start, I read till 200 and gave up. I'm dropping it. WRITING: it feels like autocorrect messed up words, also the punctuations are placed wrongly. Noteworthy examples that break me "where/were/we're" author never gets it right. Some sentences are unreadable. PLOT: author adds things and changes things mid story, lots of useless characters introduced that have no added value to story, plot changes and information changes cause plot holes(SPOILER: at the start mc gets knocked from using a move and Sabrina gets a reward which is his soul for saving him and she gets it for the reason that mc will get possessed by abyss but the original owner had him take over for the purpose of this not happening, so it's all on big plot hole at this point), confusing reveals (where author had to add a note to explain what's going on separately). MC never actively trained to level up since entering the academy, and it's getting on my nerves, I understand the reasoning, but it's crap. It just feels like author forgot about it or didn't want MC OP all for extra drama. CHARACTERS: Traits given to characters are meaningless most of the time, example: MC is written as if he's a siscon, but from all the scenes with his sister it's clear that it's a mediocre relationship. Other characters were introduced as important but don't add value to the story and are one dimensional (I just can't care about them).MC: I like the mystery of MC, I just don't like the inconsistent personality (I know why it changes, but it felt as if the author just wanted a fun mc suddenly, or other times wanted a stoic mc, and so he added a reason for it). Fights: MC just uses spear when he should be super mana prodigy. big minus.

I only read about 30 chapters. The characters are unique not one dimensional, I like the dynamic between the family. The story itself is smooth and not forced, it feels natural. The writing is easy to follow with no over the top expressions, which I like. I really loved this story for being unique and done with quality. BUT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT. It's that the points keep being repeated and there's redundant info being repeated. Really the repeating is too much, it goes on for 4 paragraphs just to deliver a point, when it was clear from the first paragraph. Chapters sometimes feel redundant because nothing of note happened because of how much a point is repeated, a whole chapter could be reduce to just 3 paragraphs. If this problem is solved then this story is golden. Don't fall into the word count trap author, maintain quality and don't consider your readers idiots, they can understand what you mean from the first time it's mentioned.

Please no harem, faithful mc is best. i don't mind him having supreme dad mindset and treating all girls as daughters, just no harem please.

Current chapter 430 -- It's unique and the story flow is nice. Didn't get boring. I only have a problem with one issue, the MC is a fool with women. This girl used mc as a furnace but is hot = let's wife her. The master of his dao companion uses him with force and then let's the others in the sect have a free pass = wife her. The princess is a stuck up but she's hot = wife her. I won't continue but it's seriously stupid. The MC dude goes negative IQ if there's a hot chick. said chick tortures him/kills him/uses him..etc but he's like "alright". What's worse is that when he married them officially, he married a full cast, like 7 or something and half of them are long forgotten, I mean dude just forget them, no need to attach importance to a random chick from 300 chapters ago. The only chick I approve is the ghost girl, the snake girl is abusive at the start but is arguably better than the rest.

I got tricked by the cover. I thought it's a cultivation story or something similar. Anyway, I read till chapter 117. In short: very boring. The start is skipped with no proper introduction on how the MC was and how he got a system or why, the story is all about mc goes somewhere, scan, find/dig treasure, and then sells it. This repeats infinitely. The whole theme here is the MC flexing on the viewers (face slapping). Extremely boring read.

after chapter 200, it goes downhill fast, I wish it was only a plot problem, author forgets stuff said in the previous chapter, levels are not explained. immortal and fastpaced should be the core of the story but after 300 chapters it's just an afterthought. The story just became the typical cultivation story with young masters and sh*t.