That last bit is more so a writing style.(Damp, putrid) I believe its also adressed too, the air is putrid with the smell of corpses, hence why he puts his mask over his nose.
The air was damp, putrid. The smell of corpses lingered in the air, stray animals and flies feasting on numerous corpses. He glanced to his left and spotted the remains of an old woman slumped in one of the buildings. In her arms, she cradled a small boy, both lifeless, their fates sealed by the same cruel hand.
It's probably his first book, this is his trial and error phase. I believe most newbie authors start out like this, he has the spirit all he needs is to messup and messup until he eventually gets it right
I'm sorry it came to this, thank you for sticking by me through Visceral Online. And I hope you will continue to support me through out my other projects.
(of which I'm making a soccer book and crime filled fantasy)
I am sorry. But I can't lie to you or myself, If i force it. You're gonna see something I'm not passionate or proud about and its going to ruin the book even further.
From the skies descended an angel, a being of immense beauty and rarity. It brought gifts to the people of Victoria, and though met with skepticism at first, it was eventually accepted into their society. But with the angel's arrival came an unforeseen calamity.
Monsters began to rain down from the heavens, laying waste to everything in their path. They pillaged, destroyed, and ravaged, ultimately annihilating ninety percent of humanity.
This catastrophe became known as the Great Lament. Three years later, the survivors began to rebuild, establishing shelters, havens, and guilds that employed 'hunters'-warriors armed to kill the monstrous invaders.
Victor, one of these hunters, harbored a deeper motive than most. During the Great Lament, his family was slaughtered, and his son taken from him in the most brutal way imaginable. Now, driven by a relentless thirst for revenge, he has set his sights on the Monarchs who rule the land.
With his shotgun in hand, Victor swore on his life that before he dies, he would rid the world of these tyrants.
*
*
*
*
*
The book starts out slow but picks up around the tenth chapter. I wanted to flesh out the main characters before tossing the entire cast into the mix.
What does revenge mean?
Harvey crushed the man's finger with his boot, relishing in the satisfaction of his agonizing scream.
What does revenge mean?
Walking towards the man writhing in pain, Harvey delivered a forceful kick to his ribs as desperate pleas for help escaped him.
This is revenge.
...
Harvey Laurier and numerous players, once immersed in the virtual world of Visceral Online, found themselves inexplicably trapped with no means of escape. How was such a phenomenon possible?
In a fantasy realm filled with dragons, monsters, cursed weapons, and kingdoms—a dream for many gamers—an emerging faction within the game transformed this dream into a chilling nightmare.
Players capable of challenging their dominance are targeted before they can reach their full potential, with Harvey finding himself in their crosshairs. However, in the midst of his battle against the faction, his girlfriend becomes a casualty, losing her life in the process.
For many, such an event would be traumatizing, but for Harvey, it shattered something. A loosely held chord within him snapped, and he made a solemn vow upon her corpse.
"I'll kill every single one of them with my own hands, regardless of what I have to sacrifice to do so.”
Additional tags
No edge lord(synopsis is exaggerated)
World building
Vengeance
Fantasy
Trapped
Mystery.
What are they hiding? What is the whole point of this? Is there a point?
"The skies fake, the water’s fake, my blood's fake. Am I fake?"
The world as they knew it was under the control of a higher group of individuals who had a plan... a vision for the world. A vision they didn't feel the need to share with the public.
26-year-old John Billoway was a part of this vision, tied ever so tightly to it in a way he couldn't comprehend and each time he gets so close to breaking out of the fabricated world- he hears a thud and then a reset.
Wanting to become a striker, Byron Whitaker was hit with a dose of reality that told him that he wasn't adequate enough to be one.
Due to this he is put as a central midfielder and that's where his talents truly shine, his passing, his stamina, his vision. All these things make him realize he was looking at the pitch with a closed mind.
However, in this new position he can still achieve his dream, his dream of becoming a pro player. However, even though he accepted a position change, he would never give up his love for goals.
Jeffery here, couple of changes to the synopsis, this updated version should have no issues and from today I'll continue pumping out chapters, Huurahh.
Cosmos Startun, Ruler of the universe had 13 children who were given the constellations as titles. Leo, Aries, Taurus, Libra, Virgo, Aquarius, Pisces, Gemini, Scorpio, Cancer, Sagittarius, Capricornus, and the last Ophiuchus.
After four millennia of living as the ruler of the cosmos, Startun's lifetime had finally come to an end and he was tasked to give away his title to one of his children.
In front of him all of them stood, not daring to make a sound, Cosmos stood up slowly and walked towards them passing the first five of the bunch and moving towards the lower half. He stopped at Virgo his beloved daughter, Her face lit up but quickly shut down as he passed her and tapped Ophiuchus on his temple.
"Find the tome of Benjamin and claim your title as the ruler of the cosmos."
A few hours later Startun died and as Ophiuchus looked at his siblings, he could feel their hate boiling and everything became blank right after he heard a thud.
Cast to the underworld after the Sun king had been overthrown, Dawn wandered the underworld in search of the miracle tome that is said to grant the wishes of whoever finds it, and in order to restore the name of her father and to save her brother who suffered incurable wounds. She must find the Tome.
Both of their stories collide and Dawn realises she must rely on Ophiuchus if she wants to restore her family name and save her brother while, Ophiuchus has to learn to trust someone other than himself if he wants to live, and together they go on an adventure with bounties placed on their heads by none other than the strongest beings in the universe, The Zodiac.
For as long as anyone could remember, daemons have existed. They terrorized, colonized and destroyed anything in their path. Thats when they appeared, the first humans to be able to control their mana to unleash magic spells drove the daemons to the edges of the earth and with every daemon the humans killed they seemed to get stronger. Daemons were evolving at a rapid rate and when one human was killed, the first daemon to be able to control mana was born.
Magic is based into four categories. Healing magic, Battle magic, Enchantment magic and support/creation magic. No man has been able to use all of the categories.
Magic levels are put into acts.
The greater the amount of mana applied to a spell, the greater the act.
Follow Igor Dragonstead, born into the silver lining of both worlds. He slowly grows to realize the things he must protect and ones he must end.
MC is a half-human half-daemon hybrid with a character type that goes from weak to strong, but with a lot of development.
Side characters will be well developed and will all have chances to showcase what they have to offer.
The best part of any fantasy novel (imo) is the antagonists and my book is not shy of them. I did as much as I could to make the antagonists of this novel have so much sauce that you could feel it in real time.
The book should be about 200-500 chapters, no less no more.
Feel free to comment on typos, errors or even your favorite chapter or character.
Author notes: I’ll try to be fast and pacey when releasing new content, there will be a lot of fun moments, auxiliary chapters and hopefully you can stay for the entire ride.
A cast out deity comes down to earth and plagues a village, his offer was a simple one. He would ask you to choose between two events, situations or moments and if you pick one. You get a wish, anything you can dream of.
However, if you don't choose. It'll be treated as a breach of contract, your soul would be repossessed and your body and mind would be sentenced to some sort of suffering that would suit the way you lived.
That last bit is more so a writing style.(Damp, putrid) I believe its also adressed too, the air is putrid with the smell of corpses, hence why he puts his mask over his nose.
The air was damp, putrid. The smell of corpses lingered in the air, stray animals and flies feasting on numerous corpses. He glanced to his left and spotted the remains of an old woman slumped in one of the buildings. In her arms, she cradled a small boy, both lifeless, their fates sealed by the same cruel hand.
Hunt/Devour
Fantasy · Jeffery_XXVI