Hi! This is Molly, an editor from other platform. I believe your book has great potential, so I invited you to join in our platform. if you are interested in, Please reply to me. so I can discuss this with you in detail.
This book is amazing, keep going! Can't stop reading. Can't wait to see more. Do you have any social media that I can follow so I can know when you gonna update?
I loved this novel all around good book but it's too bad that the author no longer updates it ant more. It breaks my heart that such a great novel remains in inconclusive.
Give this novel a read, the price is right as all 22 chapters are free to read. I am writing this review for my daily reward, yet I am still taking the time to suggest it.
A great book. It portrays a clash between values and society of different worlds. As a idol from earth gets reincarnated in to another world where music is banned if it does not send the same message as the government. A world where music is used to control. A great pretense, although the author has been away lately. This book has great potential and I'm eagerly waiting for more.π€
I loved the plot of this novel. I do not understand why the author stopped. It's been 4 months without updating a new chapter. I was very surprised because Ihad put this novel on my waiting list until it had more accumulated chapters. ππ
*Remember, this review is based on the first 5 chapters*
Constructive Criticism: I suggest you try to keep us (readers) updated as to the situation of how often and how much you will update this story.;,;.
Positive Feedback: A well written original story (I've never seen it's like).;,;.
Personal Feedback: I love what I've read so far, and hope to be able to read this story to completion (not to cliff).;,;.
Score: SoU 3/5 Rest 5/5
[This is brutally honest] Lemme just start this off by saying that Jae Hyun is a SERIOUS Marty Stu (genderbent Mary Sue). I mean, could you do any more godmodding with this dude? He's apparently handsome, intelligent, and is generally flawless, according to the story. You wouldn't want to mess with him in a battle either, even though he has no prior training apart from martial arts!
For all of the other characters however, I am IN LOVE with them. They're all so diverse and make for the perfect friend group, not specifically for Jae but just in general. The only complaint I have about the rest of the group is that WHO GIVES SOMEONE NAMED DANIEL THE NICKNAME "Niel"?! Why not a more commonly accepted nickname like "Dan"? I mean, I get that it's a different world and all but come on dude...
I'm in love with the setting, like, CAN I STEAL YOUR IDEA OP?! The idea is very well developed and I'd love to learn more about this society. About the story development, however, I'm a bit confused. Wasn't this about Jae Hyun finding his place in a world where music is essentially illegal? What's with all of the underground gang rapes and committing suicide? I suppose this could be an outlet of inspiration for Jae Hyun in the future, but doesn't he already have enough inspiration? He's in an oppressive world he doesn't know and misses his family. I think that was a bit of a cheap trick OP, using sensitive topics to build your plot. Just work with what Jae Hyun has and focus on the main point of this novel.
Again, I don't know how light novels work but these are just my opinions as an avid reader and aspiring author. In general I really love this work because it's a refreshing break from the heavy novels I usually read. Kudos to you OP.
Thank you for writing this. Keep up the good work. ^_^ Thank you for writing this. Keep up the good work. ^_^ Thank you for writing this. Keep up the good work. ^_^
Just from the 3 initial description chapters, I can guess that you have it all planned and prepared.
At least most of it!
So no worries about it getting dropped right!
That's what readers expect most from new original novels.
It is very Interesting. I didn't find any small mistakes.
Good luck!
Keep going!
All my power stones for you.All my power stones for you.All my power stones for you.All my power stones for you.
All my power stones for you.All my power stones for you.All my power stones for you.All my power stones for you.All my power stones for you.All my power stones for you.All my power stones for you.All my power stones for you.
The premise itself is good, and the characters in MC's new world are interesting, especial So Won. If it's going to become *cough cough* BL *cough cough cough* I'd eagerly be following along. It's fine if it's not, though, I could just silently ship the characters from the safety of my couch ^0^
I read past chapter 3, and though there were still some tricky parts, the writing becomes much better from there. I strongly recommend for any author to use Grammarly before publishing (and no, I'm not getting paid to endorse it this damn much). I have it installed in Chrome, it's my last line of defense before releasing a chapter.
Here, there were still minor errors in the first two chapters that I didn't address because I'm pretty sure the free version of Grammarly would catch them just fine. That said, author, please take this as a gesture of goodwill because I saw in the forums how worried you were--
Chapter 1:
lion and his songs that
--> and WITH his songs that
the 75,000 seats in the stadium were full
--> were FILLED (to capacity).
Kim Chun Ha appeared on stage
--> make it "onstage" -- no space
a 19-year-old boy with black hair and green eyes of 179cm entered -- like this, it sounds like it's his eyes that's 179cm, so...
--> a 19-year-old boy OF 179cm, with black...
they needed to take a sleep
--> EITHER needed to sleep OR needed to take a nap
Jae Hyun decided to tell HER
--> tell HIM
In fact, I have already informed...
--> you forgot to add the opening quotation mark "In fact...
Do you even know dance? And just saying but when you agreed to give me your voice
--> Do you even know how to dance (not sure if this is what you meant, but "know dance" doesn't sound right)
--> make the next statement stronger by simply starting with "When you agreed to give..."
--> delete "and just saying"
He ignored what he had just told him before look at him and talk.
--> (Jae Hyun) ignored Chun Ha's words (I'd suggest naming at least one of the characters in a sentence if they have the same gender; it's to avoid confusion about who's doing what)
--> and simply looked at him before speaking.
Kim Chun Ha's anger lashed his mind and blew up.
--> I don't understand what you mean by "lashed his mind." Maybe it's best if you just say (his) anger blew up.
I make you regret being born
--> I'LL make you...
a shot was heard
--> a shot sounded OR rang out (to avoid the passive "was heard")
Once he would be cured
--> Once HE'S cured
Jae Hyun had a pinch in his heart
--> Jae Hyun's heart constricted
Chapter 2:
He tried to sit down,
--> sit UP
his body gave up to him
--> up ON him
his agencyβif you say soβsaved
--> did you mean "if you could call them that"?
Fake to sleep? Hid?
--> Fake sleep
--> Hide
Think to something
--> Think OF something
and the panic gradually spread to him
--> and his panic gradually spread (could use a different word here imo).
He was going to tell them their home truths!
--> "home truths" seems to be an idiomatic expression in French? Not sure, but it doesn't translate well, I would suggest a more common phrase like "tell them what's what"
Sorry I didn't force you.
--> Sorry, I shouldn't have forced you/pushed you too hard
"Am I still dreaming?", though he.
--> he thought.
--> a comma is not needed if the dialogue itself ends with a punctuation mark
Great, already that he wasn't very tall
--> ...he wasn't very tall to start with
Was it a contribution for being jealous
--> ...a retribution for...
What year and date are it today
--> What year is it? What's the date today?
---
That's as far as I've gone editing. I really hope this would be of some help, it's not my intention to make you feel pressured or anything, but I'm sorry if that's how it turns out.
Best of luck from here on out as well :)
Its a pretty good story, the writing needs a bit of work as I have found a few mistakes here and there. But overall the story great and has potential. Keep on writing
Only 12 chapters and gotta say enjoying what this author is doing. At first l thought the family the MC was living were too kind and a bit weird how they just let him be part of the family willing to pay for all of his expenses but later it was explained they were orphans which gave the reason to their kindness but also later soo wan if l recall how to spell that name correctly was actually not ignorant but observing the MC. I thought that was a great play done by the author. Anyways good job author cause you did GOOD!!
I need power stones i need gift card please
I need power stones
Doing this just for power stones
Haven't even read the book yet
Power stones
Power stones
Power stones
Power stones
Very good start!
Just a phrase that seems strange that repeats itself in chapter 1.
"Good job on this tour!" told him his manager told him as he stepped inside.
Itβs a great start looking for more ch.7 I liked how you used real life songs .πππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππ
This was a very interesting story. I really like entertainment novels an although this seems to be going in a different way it was still an interesting read.
The plot is very interesting. You really write well and scenes are well written as well. I'll be happy to learn from you, too. I so admire this novel of yours. Quite a plot you got there. Really looking forward to more chapters. β€β€β€
Let's start with your writing quality. Maybe my standards are too high, but your sentences are too long (some parts are honestly unnecessary) and some phrases are misplaced. I suggest you read about grammar rules on misplaced modifiers. You should also edit your usage of punctuations, so you can seperate your long sentences better. You're also somehow using some words wrongly.
For example in first chapter:
"Is that anyway to talk to me? I remind you that without me you would be nothing!"
You can rewrite it as:
"Is that how you're supposed to talk to me? Let me remind you, you would be nothing without me!"
There are more errors, but I'll move on to the next.
Story Development. The reason why he died is because he wanted to end the contract. So they blackmail him, then they kill him and the reason is too shallow-- he wanted to end the contract. Since this is under realistic fiction, he will only be blacklisted at most or more blackmail will be used. To make it better, why don't you add more enmity for the main lead. You also didn't mention how he adjusted and stuff.
Character design. It's a bit confusing to read since the personality of other's aren't that distinct. But it's okay. World Background. It's somehow clear. Overall, it's good.
the plot is very nice. and you'd be most likely stable in updates with your current rate. it's to early to drop a review, so i guess i'll come back when there's enough chapter.
The world background is explained so we'll. While the story development is pretty superb, the plot was already set after 3 chapters or so. I haven't seen much of the characters aside from the mc and the girl who was making a cover
What a cool and refreshing concept. I'll save my complete review when there are more chapters. Good luck!
it's a bit early to review however I believe this novel has great potential, the storyline is original and it really grabbed me within just 6 chapters. The author seems like a great person as well so that's another plus. I hope to see you in the top 50 soon :)
Actually quite nice. Just I don't know where the plot is going yet.
Writing quality: 4/5 not bad not bad.
Stability: 3/5 I think it's a good idea to update 4-5 chaps a week, daily would be my rate of 5/5
Story: 5/5 based on 4 chaps - not sure what direction it'll go yet
Character: 5/5 pretty original background, haven't seen a story about the voice behind the lip syncer before
World: 5/5 I'm really not sure so I'm putting 5 for now
All the best! Keep on writing!
Susan001